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Joke thread! I need some new material!

Joined
Jul 9, 2022
Messages
2,289
Yah Ok! Man you don't have a clue. The shit I share on here is mild compared to what I actually deal with. You do know you can block me right?

Nah dude that was definitely a personal attack! Call it a joke if it makes you feel better. I got nothing to prove so if you think I'm an attention whore then so be it. I am here for laughs, civil discussion, & a lil advice from time to time. Dealing with a psychopath online is easy! I deal with 1 everyday in reality.
No please share.
 
Joined
Aug 21, 2021
Messages
476

A farmer boy woke up & went to get breakfast. His mom told him that he would get breakfast after his chores were done. He stomps & heads out to clean the chicken coop. While going about it, a chicken pecks him & he kicks it. He goes to the pig sty & a pig knocks into him, he knocks it back. He went to milk their cow & the cow kicked the bucket & spilled the milk. He kicked the cow. Mom saw everything & told him no eggs because he kicked the chicken, No bacon because he kicked the pig, & no milk because he kicked the cow. While in the house he saw his dad come down stairs & when the cat almost tripped him, dad kicked the cat. The boy looked at his mom & says "are you telling him or should I?"​

 

shiv

John
Administrator
Founder
Member
Joined
Dec 1, 2020
Messages
13,741
ok so i heard this one i think youll like it definitely should add it to your joke toolbox here it goes two old men are sitting at a chess table playing chess on the table they are sitting at and one of them is wearing a grey jacket and the other one a blue jacket and the one in the grey jacket makes a move in chess and then leans over and says guess what i got a new hearing aid and the one in the blue jacket makes a chess move and doesnt say anything back and the one in the grey jacket makes another chess move and says its a top of the line hearing aid very expensive and the one in the blue jacket makes a chess move and says oh really what kind is it and the one in the gray jacket makes a chess move and looks at his watch and says its about two thirty why do you ask thats the whole joke i hope you like it and add it to your toolbox enjoy i hope you got a good laugh
Added to the toolbox
 

hmt5000

Legendary
Founder
Joined
Dec 10, 2020
Messages
6,482
Why was Tigger in the bathroom?

R.c28c2e900404e9e18c443eda10586adc




He was looking for Pooh!
 

GreenNewMe

Poster
Joined
Apr 22, 2021
Messages
219
If you've got any more, I can definitely make space for them
sure thing man here is one you might like but you have to understand it only works as a spoken joke so dont try to text it to anybody or anything okay here it goes what do you call a fish with no eyes and when they say what you say a fsh becuase there is not an i in the word because eye and i sounds the same spoken thats why it only works as a spoken joke but not written

also another one that you might like is this one you ask can february march and then you say no but april may thats another one thats kind of silly but pretty good and i think youll like it you should use it too
 

Mr.Fitzwell

Legendary
Joined
Sep 19, 2021
Messages
6,039
Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
 
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