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Joke thread! I need some new material!

Goldhedge

Elite
Joined
Mar 24, 2023
Messages
815
Incest is best as long as you keep it in the family...

image-yGlFgIjG1Qw6svyQ.jpg
 

SoonerMD09

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Joined
Jan 9, 2021
Messages
218
Two Irishman saved all their money and went to Germany for a vacation.

While there, they get the bright idea to get laid so they visit a brothel.

After they knock on the door, the madame of the house opens the peep window and asks the men what they want.

They tell her that they want to get laid but they only have fifty bucks. Insulted, she tells them to go fuck themselves.

About an hour later, there's a knock on the brothel door again. The madame once again opens the peep window and sees the two Irishmen in front of her.

Sheepishly, the first Irishman says, 'well, we fucked eachother, now who do we pay?'
 

Goldhedge

Elite
Joined
Mar 24, 2023
Messages
815
An old man was eating in a truck stop when three bikers walked in. As they passed the old man the first biker shoved his cigarette into the old man's pie. The second biker picked up the old man's milk and spit in it. The third biker turned over the old man's plate before joining the other two bikers at the counter.

The old man got up, paid his bill without saying a thing to the laughing bikers and left the diner.

One of the bikers said to the waitress, "Not much of a man, was he?"

The waitress replied, "He's not much of a truck driver either, he just backed his rig over three motorcycles."
 

Goldhedge

Elite
Joined
Mar 24, 2023
Messages
815

George Carlin - It's A BIG Club & You Ain't In It!​

'They don’t want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. They don’t want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. They’re not interested in that. That doesn’t help them. That's against their interests.'

'It's called the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.'

 

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