Official Tell Crootn a Story Thread

[TJHall1]

I’ll try to make it as short as I can. here it goes:

It was early May of 2012 in Charkh Afghanistan. Charkh was like the Wild West. It’s a valley that is surrounded by mountains, similar to that of COP Keating, the infamous post shown in the documentary “Restrepo” and most recently, the movie “The Outpost”. Anyways, it was early in the morning, probably around 5:30-6:00. We were conducting a raid as 2 platoons, along with our afghan counterparts, the afghan national army (ANA). Fuck those coward faggots. Anywho, we executed our mission and took the bad guys we were looking for. After we did our SSE (sensitive site exploitation, basically taking anything that was a threat and mapping out the entire complex) it was time to set up to move back to the COP (combat outpost). My platoon was in the rear and 3rd Platoon was in the lead with our Company Commander and his entourage in the middle along with the ANA.

As soon as we stepped off, we got ambushed big time. Most of their fire was directed towards the middle of the element. Immediately our CO (commanding officer) went down. A VOG-25 grenade went off in front of him and split his face in half. Several others were hit by AK and PKM as well. So immediately, we sustained probably about 6 or 7 casualties. All were walking wounded except for the CO. We had to extract him out of there. In this part of Charkh, there is nowhere for a MEDEVAC bird (helicopter) to land so we had to take him back on foot. While the ambush was going on, 3rd platoon stumbled across a pressure cooker IED right in their path. So since they were working on dealing with that, I had my platoon execute the casualty evacuation. I volunteered to take a small group (about 5 of us) ahead of the main element to clear the way of enemy and/or other IEDs. It was about 1600 meters from where we were to the COP. It had just rained so the alley ways were muddy and the terrain was rough. I don’t care who you are, even with 3 others helping move the litter, carrying a sumbitch in full kit with all your gear and weapon is physically EXHAUSTING!!

Meanwhile, you still have to fight off the enemy as you move. So after a long violent trek, we finally managed to get him to a main road where QRF (quick reaction force) met us to hand him off. Still we had 3rd platoon back at the start, about 1200 meters away working on this IED. I took a fire team (4 dudes) back a couple hundred meters to a spot that was known to be a taliban movement path. I set the 4 guys up behind cover and we just watched and waited. Eventually about 8-10 taliban start moving their way towards the other platoon. So we set in and ambushed them. I had one 240B machine gun, a SAW, a couple M4s, and a 203 grenade launcher. I initiated the contact and had the boys start firing. All of a sudden, the machine gun goes down. That’s our most casualty producing weapon and we need that up. My gunner wasn’t getting the job done, so I sprinted about 50 meters through enemy fire to get the gun up in to action. I removed the jam and started lighting these niggas up. We killed them all, I got most of them with the machine gun. We prevented them ambushing our other platoon and got our commanding officer the hell out of there. Dude is alive today with a nasty cool scar across his face.

i received the Bronze Star for Valor and several of the other guys got the ARCOM with valor. It was just another hellacious morning in Charkh, Afghanistan.

Hell yes man. What a story. Thank you for sharing.

 

[IdrinkandIKNOWthings]

eat a Dick. He is helping to get content added. Tell a fuck ING story faggot

So brave

 

[absoluteUnit]

I’ll try to make it as short as I can. here it goes:

It was early May of 2012 in Charkh Afghanistan. Charkh was like the Wild West. It’s a valley that is surrounded by mountains, similar to that of COP Keating, the infamous post shown in the documentary “Restrepo” and most recently, the movie “The Outpost”. Anyways, it was early in the morning, probably around 5:30-6:00. We were conducting a raid as 2 platoons, along with our afghan counterparts, the afghan national army (ANA). Fuck those coward faggots. Anywho, we executed our mission and took the bad guys we were looking for. After we did our SSE (sensitive site exploitation, basically taking anything that was a threat and mapping out the entire complex) it was time to set up to move back to the COP (combat outpost). My platoon was in the rear and 3rd Platoon was in the lead with our Company Commander and his entourage in the middle along with the ANA.

As soon as we stepped off, we got ambushed big time. Most of their fire was directed towards the middle of the element. Immediately our CO (commanding officer) went down. A VOG-25 grenade went off in front of him and split his face in half. Several others were hit by AK and PKM as well. So immediately, we sustained probably about 6 or 7 casualties. All were walking wounded except for the CO. We had to extract him out of there. In this part of Charkh, there is nowhere for a MEDEVAC bird (helicopter) to land so we had to take him back on foot. While the ambush was going on, 3rd platoon stumbled across a pressure cooker IED right in their path. So since they were working on dealing with that, I had my platoon execute the casualty evacuation. I volunteered to take a small group (about 5 of us) ahead of the main element to clear the way of enemy and/or other IEDs. It was about 1600 meters from where we were to the COP. It had just rained so the alley ways were muddy and the terrain was rough. I don’t care who you are, even with 3 others helping move the litter, carrying a sumbitch in full kit with all your gear and weapon is physically EXHAUSTING!!

Meanwhile, you still have to fight off the enemy as you move. So after a long violent trek, we finally managed to get him to a main road where QRF (quick reaction force) met us to hand him off. Still we had 3rd platoon back at the start, about 1200 meters away working on this IED. I took a fire team (4 dudes) back a couple hundred meters to a spot that was known to be a taliban movement path. I set the 4 guys up behind cover and we just watched and waited. Eventually about 8-10 taliban start moving their way towards the other platoon. So we set in and ambushed them. I had one 240B machine gun, a SAW, a couple M4s, and a 203 grenade launcher. I initiated the contact and had the boys start firing. All of a sudden, the machine gun goes down. That’s our most casualty producing weapon and we need that up. My gunner wasn’t getting the job done, so I sprinted about 50 meters through enemy fire to get the gun up in to action. I removed the jam and started lighting these niggas up. We killed them all, I got most of them with the machine gun. We prevented them ambushing our other platoon and got our commanding officer the hell out of there. Dude is alive today with a nasty cool scar across his face.

i received the Bronze Star for Valor and several of the other guys got the ARCOM with valor. It was just another hellacious morning in Charkh, Afghanistan.

Fucking A man, I enjoy all your posts but didn’t know you were an absolute legend. Glad to be sharing a forum with you sir.

 

[Rebarcock.]

I’ll try to make it as short as I can. here it goes:

It was early May of 2012 in Charkh Afghanistan. Charkh was like the Wild West. It’s a valley that is surrounded by mountains, similar to that of COP Keating, the infamous post shown in the documentary “Restrepo” and most recently, the movie “The Outpost”. Anyways, it was early in the morning, probably around 5:30-6:00. We were conducting a raid as 2 platoons, along with our afghan counterparts, the afghan national army (ANA). Fuck those coward faggots. Anywho, we executed our mission and took the bad guys we were looking for. After we did our SSE (sensitive site exploitation, basically taking anything that was a threat and mapping out the entire complex) it was time to set up to move back to the COP (combat outpost). My platoon was in the rear and 3rd Platoon was in the lead with our Company Commander and his entourage in the middle along with the ANA.

As soon as we stepped off, we got ambushed big time. Most of their fire was directed towards the middle of the element. Immediately our CO (commanding officer) went down. A VOG-25 grenade went off in front of him and split his face in half. Several others were hit by AK and PKM as well. So immediately, we sustained probably about 6 or 7 casualties. All were walking wounded except for the CO. We had to extract him out of there. In this part of Charkh, there is nowhere for a MEDEVAC bird (helicopter) to land so we had to take him back on foot. While the ambush was going on, 3rd platoon stumbled across a pressure cooker IED right in their path. So since they were working on dealing with that, I had my platoon execute the casualty evacuation. I volunteered to take a small group (about 5 of us) ahead of the main element to clear the way of enemy and/or other IEDs. It was about 1600 meters from where we were to the COP. It had just rained so the alley ways were muddy and the terrain was rough. I don’t care who you are, even with 3 others helping move the litter, carrying a sumbitch in full kit with all your gear and weapon is physically EXHAUSTING!!

Meanwhile, you still have to fight off the enemy as you move. So after a long violent trek, we finally managed to get him to a main road where QRF (quick reaction force) met us to hand him off. Still we had 3rd platoon back at the start, about 1200 meters away working on this IED. I took a fire team (4 dudes) back a couple hundred meters to a spot that was known to be a taliban movement path. I set the 4 guys up behind cover and we just watched and waited. Eventually about 8-10 taliban start moving their way towards the other platoon. So we set in and ambushed them. I had one 240B machine gun, a SAW, a couple M4s, and a 203 grenade launcher. I initiated the contact and had the boys start firing. All of a sudden, the machine gun goes down. That’s our most casualty producing weapon and we need that up. My gunner wasn’t getting the job done, so I sprinted about 50 meters through enemy fire to get the gun up in to action. I removed the jam and started lighting these niggas up. We killed them all, I got most of them with the machine gun. We prevented them ambushing our other platoon and got our commanding officer the hell out of there. Dude is alive today with a nasty cool scar across his face.

i received the Bronze Star for Valor and several of the other guys got the ARCOM with valor. It was just another hellacious morning in Charkh, Afghanistan.

Wow man. Get to mtp and ill make you laugh and pay the tab. Your bravery is amazing. Thanks for your story.

 

[Chris Farley]

Wow man. Get to mtp and ill make you laugh and pay the tab. Your bravery is amazing. Thanks for your story.

What’s MTP?

 

[Rebarcock.]

What’s MTP?

Mt pleasant. Next door to Charleston. One bridge over

 

[shiv]

Aight @Rebarcock. i got them merged

 

[Rebarcock.]

Aight @Rebarcock. i got them merged

I've been busy w steel and end of Qtr. Ill try and come up w some stories of my life over the weekend.

 

[TopHook]

Strand metals on bush drive behind the old pottery
I lived off 62nd and 67th later but started out off forestbrook when i first moved there. What company you work for

Me and my brother have a realty company in NMB.

 

[Rebarcock.]

Me and my brother have a realty company in NMB.

Yall may know my mom

 

[TopHook]

Yall may know my mom

It's possible. we've been around since 1974.

 

[Rebarcock.]

I gotta catch up bit this is a good one if i can paint the picture right.

I grew up in Columbia
Late 89 I got a 1986 Jimmy 4x4 red two door.
I had to cut my mullet for a court hearing so I now look like a respectable senior at the Catholic high school.
Me and mikeD are cruising to go burn one before some school function.
There is a long cut through road just down from our school. Clemson Dr if I remember correctly. Well on the right is a church and on left is a school w a big play ground.this place flooded out terribly. After a good rain we always made a point to go hit lake Clemson doing 50+. Stupid kid shit.

Well the church musta been having a potluck dinner that evening. Current time 430pm.
Well it had rained all day long so we were taking the cut thru to hit lake Clemson.

Long straight road, rich neighborhood.
There is an olds98 parked by the church ALL FOUR DOORS OPEN and parked in the middle of the road puddle. I Immediately knew what i was going to do. I start speeding up and yell to mikeD "this is gonna tne one for the books"

This puddle was a good 60 yards and deepest at the 30 yard mark. That was precisely where the olds98 was parked doors open. We are just hitting 50 and are entering the start of the puddle.
At this moment we are committed to drenching this car entirely.
The wave my 86 Jimmy would put up was impressive. The driver was all world at puddle moving.
Just then two older ladies peak up, one standing bent over at the driver side door one at the rear passenger.
Me and mikeD see them at the same time and yelled oh s hit but i secretly was even happier these two people popped up. (I was 16 as a senior and a bad kid but i was taught right so keep reading)
The wave encompassed AND passed thru the entire car. The two grandmas were as wet as they could be from jumping off a ship.
MikeD is fully turned around and going ape s hit. Im laughing may nuts off. We made it about 100 yards past them and i turned around. We pull up and i gave them each a towel from my truck and plead ignorance to the puddle. The inside of the old98 held four casseroles. Greenbean casserole,some chicken pot pie looking shit, Mac and cheese the southern way and i think sweet potatoe casserole too. Well the food was covered so it was ok. I gave the ladies my truck to ho home and clean up. We took the casseroles inside and took the olds98 w a 4barrel carb to clean it out for the grannies. Well 16 yr and 18 yr dudes wanna see what a 350 4barrel can do. So we had our fun doing 360 and a couple neutral drops then went over to franks car wash and had our buddy vacuum and clean the hell out of the olds98. Payment was we caught gim a buzz. About 630 we run the olds98 back to the scene of the crime. Those Lil ol grannies thought we were so nice for stopping to help. Their husbands knew we were full of shit. askiing howd we get going that fast and be in the wrong lane to make the 86jimmy drench the grannies?
Well my dad worked w one guy. When i said my last name he knew it bc where we were from it is uncommon pretty much. We made a deal he would keep quiet if i did 4 Saturdays work for him. Well mikeD and i did over two months. Grandpa asked us to tell him the story. We all laughed and laughed. He illegally gave us bud heavies each time we helped. I helped him until i was 22 and left for myrtle beach to start the shop w my Dad
That ol timer was a WWII bomber guy. He was an amazing man and his wife was a sweetie. Mike D helped the other granny and her husband and became friendly w them too. Funny how the Lord does it

Edit:
I think the Gramps feller was a DooLittle Raider.

....

 

[Rebarcock.]

It's possible. we've been around since 1974.

Shit. You know the Master's?
My fam in mb since 95. It is not easy but when it is hard it is good. Life is weird

 

[Rebarcock.]

So here's a little story i like to tell about three bad brothers you know so well........



Im 14. Leg broke as fuck.(2nd story of 2)
Ill tell you 1 if i get 15 likes
I ducked up and posted. Im gonna edit and post the story. Gimmie 5

So growing up in my Irish fam you had to pull your own weight no matter your leg situation. I couldn't walk a mower so my Pops got me a craftsman 11HP. Grey and sleek.
So I had to mow lawns w a hinged up cast from my toes to my hip. I was clunky. My pedal foot was broken
Im mowing the yard as i had done a dozen ttimes. (New house my Dad just hit jackpot) we lived along a creek w a big residential lake behind my folks home.
I decided right beside the creek I could mow instead of weed eat.....wrong.
I flipped 2x for a 720 score. That craftsman mower gave no fucks about me or my leg.

The mower ends up front wheels in the creek motor partially submerged but being held out by vines.
Im 14. I go in to the house and get Mom and Dad to the table
Rebar: in 10 yrs we are all gonna laugh about what Im Fixing to tell you.
M&D: s hit Whatd you do?!......

I take them out to see. They start laughing. My Pops started poking me. I explain it rolled over for a 720. Ngaf.
Our neighbor had a treerope and that w a Buick pulled out the tractor from the creek.

 

[Cre8ive]

Awesome story @Chris Farley. I salute you for your service to our country. So glad to have a vet on the patriot posters team. I have a buddy who is suffering from PTSD. He's not a pussy. He is fighting it daily after all these years. I help him with meditation and articles on the how and why of PTSD. It is a lot easier to work on your problem is you understand the cognitive mechanics that cause it. We're slaying his demons one at a time. He is making progress. Sounds like you and General George Patton had something in common - you were born for war. I hope you are not suffering from PTSD. I read his book entitled "A Genius for War" - what an amazing warrior he was. Never given the full credit he was due. And the movie Patton was one hell of a good ride!

 

[Rebarcock.]

Awesome story @Chris Farley. I salute you for your service to our country. So glad to have a vet on the patriot posters team. I have a buddy who is suffering from PTSD. He's not a pussy. He is fighting it daily after all these years. I help him with meditation and articles on the how and why of PTSD. It is a lot easier to work on your problem is you understand the cognitive mechanics that cause it. We're slaying his demons one at a time. He is making progress. Sounds like you and General George Patton had something in common - you were born for war. I hope you are not suffering from PTSD. I read his book entitled "A Genius for War" - what an amazing warrior he was. Never given the full credit he was due. And the movie Patton was one hell of a good ride!

Dude be the best friend you can be. I have needed an shitload of help. It has taken me +/-the past 24 months to get back to normal..
Be there for your Pal and fight to help him.
Imho

 

[catreaper]

Not what I intended with my original thread, but screw it. I got kind of fired as a bag boy from my local grocery shop for sectstually harassing a Down syndrome guy. His name was Dana. He got married to another special needs person and after their special needs honey moon at his parents house, he came back to work whistling.

Him and I were in the milk cooler and I asked him why he was so happy. Then asked how the sex was. 10 minutes later I hear “cat reaper to the managers office”.

Long story short, the owner knew my parents and threatened to call them and tell what I said if I didn’t quit. I thought it was bullshit, but quit and started working the next week at subway.

 

[TopHook]

Not what I intended with my original thread, but screw it. I got kind of fired as a bag boy from my local grocery shop for sectstually harassing a Down syndrome guy. His name was Dana. He got married to another special needs person and after their special needs honey moon at his parents house, he came back to work whistling.

Him and I were in the milk cooler and I asked him why he was so happy. Then asked how the sex was. 10 minutes later I hear “cat reaper to the managers office”.

Long story short, the owner knew my parents and threatened to call them and tell what I said if I didn’t quit. I thought it was bullshit, but quit and started working the next week at subway.

 

[shiv]

Bump

 

[shiv]

Not what I intended with my original thread, but screw it. I got kind of fired as a bag boy from my local grocery shop for sectstually harassing a Down syndrome guy. His name was Dana. He got married to another special needs person and after their special needs honey moon at his parents house, he came back to work whistling.

Him and I were in the milk cooler and I asked him why he was so happy. Then asked how the sex was. 10 minutes later I hear “cat reaper to the managers office”.

Long story short, the owner knew my parents and threatened to call them and tell what I said if I didn’t quit. I thought it was bullshit, but quit and started working the next week at subway.

What a loser that manager was

 

[Rebarcock.]

Sometime around 1992 me and my buddies were preparing for the end of the semester. We decided all we needed was a beach house,mdma,weed,and tobacco. We could always catch fish to eat. So about dec29 1992 we head to my folks beach house.
Our neighbor who owned the house was the director of DNR(wildlife) Marion Burnside his grand kid was a rich POS. He stole his folks credit cards to buy shit to trade for crack. Well his family put a warrant out on his ass.
As we pull up to our house(the beach in off season used to be like no man's land in a horror movie) well he found out there was a warrant he split town. All cards canceled

We get in to the house and party a couple days. Booger notices the neighbors house had been broken in to. Well we are all early 20s. We go and check it out. Sure enough the kid is in their and we know him. He is a big dick sucker and none of us like his crack head self. He begs us for food. Sorry dont have have any to spare.
A Wihile later we see him head to the ocean w a rod. While sitting on the porch w notice he has hooked a fish. Reels it in. Gets it off the hook. A fucking osprey jettisoned down at 100mph and snatched his dinner. He actually caught the bird by a leg and pulled. All he got for dinner was an osprey leg. We called the cops on 12.31 so he would spend new years in the clank

 

[weaponoffreedom]

Late 90's.........in Fayetteville, NC at a strip club called Cloud Nine.

I walked in one day, and saw that there was not very many customers in the club. Me being me, I walked up to the bartender and asked if he owned the joint...( I grew up in these kinds of places, so I understood that the owner was likely the barkeeper). Anyways, I promised to bring the place some more business, and chase the heavy drug scene out, and in return, using the honor system, I would drink free, and take 5% of the house tips..........worked out pretty good. I knew a lot of guys and was always the popular one in the crowd. On Friday nights the place was packed, and turned out to be some really good times.

This new guy to the unit shows up, and the very first thing the guy asked was "where's the party at". I new just the place to take him. That weekend I took the guy to Cloud Nine, and he was floored. This guy was nuts, one of those guys that you really don't want to drink a bunch because they show their ass. And he sure did. He started spilling drinks on the dancers, taking his dick out, licking the girls while on stage, etc. A couple of the girls told me he had to go, so these girls were very important to me, and this guy was an idiot, so I told him he was done, and to get a cab and go back to post..............so he did, or so I thought.

The night went on, had our normal fun, and it was time to go. Might had been, 2am. By this time it was raining. I was going back with this one dancer, (use your imagination), a buddy was driving.......so it was me, the buddy and a girl, in a single cab truck. Headed toward post, the driver had to hit the brakes hard. We heard a loud thump in the back. No big deal, we thought, was likely the cooler in the back sliding to the front. So we kept on driving. Getting to the check point, and slowing down, we started to hear some thumping in the back of the truck, again the cooler moving around in the back.

We got to the MP at the checkpoint, and as per normal, he asked if we had been drinking, and of course the answer was not really. The girl with me, I suppose, felt trouble brewing so she got the MP's attention and boom, flash of her chest. the MP's eye lit wide open, and then, mezmerized, waived us forward. We were in the clear........or so we thought.

We got about 10 feet and heard a loud yell......"STOP!" Oh fuck, somethings wrong, "the beers in the back had come out of the cooler" we said. The MP pulled out his maglite flashlight (one of those big ones), and shined it in the back, then to us through the back window. " Get out of the truck!" he ordered. So we did, and found what was making all that noise in the back of the truck.................it was the guy who I told to get a cab back to the barracks. He was so plastered, he jumped in the back of the truck, and passed out. The noise we had heard while slamming on the brakes was him flying forward and hitting the front of the truck bed. Problem was, the motherfucker was stuck under the toolbox. (this was before everyone had a bedliner in the truck bed, and the surface was nice and slick. That coupled with baby oil form all the dances he had got= stuck as a motherfucker under the tool box. There he was, half passed out still, soaked from the rain. We left him there until we got back, and pryed his ass out.

the MP asked if we knew who this was, and we said "yep!" He waived us through.

 

[Rebarcock.]

So Boog had it tougher growing up probably than any of us. His mom though was the ticket manager at Carolina Coliseum at SC. Back in our day no one was bashing gays but Boogs mom was friends w a dude who was queer as hell and a legit black belt. Like he was a bad dude. Him and his BF owned a furniture store. We can call him Warrior Princess

They would pay us cash or beer or ganja to do furniture deliveries around Columbia bc Princess and BF knew we were good and be polite. For me these were the 1st Homer's I'd ever met and they were open about it. Back in the late 80s many were still in the closet but you knew they were. (Iwas also Catholic so I knew a a handful of pedos also. I'll think about how to tell some of those in a good fashion. Hard to make pedo shit priests funny but I'll try)
Anyway
We were delivering a hutch, 2 lazy boy,and a kitchen table.
Well Princess the bad ass dude rides w us which he had never done before.
We get there and he stays in the truck. Me and boog are moving the new furniture in to a nice middle class home.
The woman who answered was nice. Normal 35 lady.
There is some dude there maybe 5-10 210lbs smoking sticks. Slimy kinda dude. We ask where she want stuff. This goes there etc.... we take one of the chairs upstairs.
Slimy yells at me and boog "yall don't go up there getting faggot" I'm confused af bc well neither of us are gay. He hadn't seen princess in the truck.we come down stairs and the lady is mortified and apologizing incessantly. Hands us ea a 20.00 which today would be Like 100.00. I walk out 1st an as boog is coming up behind he tries to kick him in the ass. Booger was a good athlete. Scoots blocks and tells the guy my boss is in the truck if you have a problem.
Apparently, this dude had shit talked Princess. They had some history of which I still don't know what that is.
Boog one hops the stairs towards the truck.
Boog tells Princess "you were right"

Princess the Ninja Warrior hops out and literally jumps up 6 stairs and with out touching the ground kicks this fuckers head. It was like Jordan doing a Karate Kid Swan Kick up a front door stoop. The slimy bastard tried some shit but Warrior Princess locked him up, spun around put Boss ass on the dude face and farted.
I had no idea wtf was happening or how to process what was happening.
Then he tells us to leave the back door open and to leave. Well we didn't want to leave without Princess. He tells us to go. As we drive out he jumps up gives the dude an elbow chop to kno k the breath out of him and jumps in the back of the truck and we drove away.

 

[sanction]

So Boog had it tougher growing up probably than any of us. His mom though was the ticket manager at Carolina Coliseum at SC. Back in our day no one was bashing gays but Boogs mom was friends w a dude who was queer as hell and a legit black belt. Like he was a bad dude. Him and his BF owned a furniture store. We can call him Warrior Princess

They would pay us cash or beer or ganja to do furniture deliveries around Columbia bc Princess and BF knew we were good and be polite. For me these were the 1st Homer's I'd ever met and they were open about it. Back in the late 80s many were still in the closet but you knew they were. (Iwas also Catholic so I knew a a handful of pedos also. I'll think about how to tell some of those in a good fashion. Hard to make pedo shit priests funny but I'll try)
Anyway
We were delivering a hutch, 2 lazy boy,and a kitchen table.
Well Princess the bad ass dude rides w us which he had never done before.
We get there and he stays in the truck. Me and boog are moving the new furniture in to a nice middle class home.
The woman who answered was nice. Normal 35 lady.
There is some dude there maybe 5-10 210lbs smoking sticks. Slimy kinda dude. We ask where she want stuff. This goes there etc.... we take one of the chairs upstairs.
Slimy yells at me and boog "yall don't go up there getting faggot" I'm confused af bc well neither of us are gay. He hadn't seen princess in the truck.we come down stairs and the lady is mortified and apologizing incessantly. Hands us ea a 20.00 which today would be Like 100.00. I walk out 1st an as boog is coming up behind he tries to kick him in the ass. Booger was a good athlete. Scoots blocks and tells the guy my boss is in the truck if you have a problem.
Apparently, this dude had shit talked Princess. They had some history of which I still don't know what that is.
Boog one hops the stairs towards the truck.
Boog tells Princess "you were right"

Princess the Ninja Warrior hops out and literally jumps up 6 stairs and with out touching the ground kicks this fuckers head. It was like Jordan doing a Karate Kid Swan Kick up a front door stoop. The slimy bastard tried some shit but Warrior Princess locked him up, spun around put hoss ass on the dude face and farted.
I had no idea wtf was happening or how to process what was happening.
Then he tells us to leave the back door open and to leave. Well we didn't want to leave without Princess. He tells us to go. As we drive out he jumps up gives the dude an elbow chop to kno k the breath out of him and jumps in the back of the truck and we drove away.

Nice story.

What is “hoss ass”?

 

[Rebarcock.]

Nice story.

What is “hoss ass”?

Boss ass I'd guess I can't find it

Fixes. My bad

 

[LafesterMacintosh]

So Boog had it tougher growing up probably than any of us. His mom though was the ticket manager at Carolina Coliseum at SC. Back in our day no one was bashing gays but Boogs mom was friends w a dude who was queer as hell and a legit black belt. Like he was a bad dude. Him and his BF owned a furniture store. We can call him Warrior Princess

They would pay us cash or beer or ganja to do furniture deliveries around Columbia bc Princess and BF knew we were good and be polite. For me these were the 1st Homer's I'd ever met and they were open about it. Back in the late 80s many were still in the closet but you knew they were. (Iwas also Catholic so I knew a a handful of pedos also. I'll think about how to tell some of those in a good fashion. Hard to make pedo shit priests funny but I'll try)
Anyway
We were delivering a hutch, 2 lazy boy,and a kitchen table.
Well Princess the bad ass dude rides w us which he had never done before.
We get there and he stays in the truck. Me and boog are moving the new furniture in to a nice middle class home.
The woman who answered was nice. Normal 35 lady.
There is some dude there maybe 5-10 210lbs smoking sticks. Slimy kinda dude. We ask where she want stuff. This goes there etc.... we take one of the chairs upstairs.
Slimy yells at me and boog "yall don't go up there getting faggot" I'm confused af bc well neither of us are gay. He hadn't seen princess in the truck.we come down stairs and the lady is mortified and apologizing incessantly. Hands us ea a 20.00 which today would be Like 100.00. I walk out 1st an as boog is coming up behind he tries to kick him in the ass. Booger was a good athlete. Scoots blocks and tells the guy my boss is in the truck if you have a problem.
Apparently, this dude had shit talked Princess. They had some history of which I still don't know what that is.
Boog one hops the stairs towards the truck.
Boog tells Princess "you were right"

Princess the Ninja Warrior hops out and literally jumps up 6 stairs and with out touching the ground kicks this fuckers head. It was like Jordan doing a Karate Kid Swan Kick up a front door stoop. The slimy bastard tried some shit but Warrior Princess locked him up, spun around put Boss ass on the dude face and farted.
I had no idea wtf was happening or how to process what was happening.
Then he tells us to leave the back door open and to leave. Well we didn't want to leave without Princess. He tells us to go. As we drive out he jumps up gives the dude an elbow chop to kno k the breath out of him and jumps in the back of the truck and we drove away.

I could read and understand this entire thing.

 

[Rebarcock.]

View attachment 206043

I could read and understand this entire thing.

U had hoss hawg instead of Voss hogg or hoss or Boss. I ain't perfect you tweedley shit wipe.
I try to make my stories habla correctamundo af
I have a bother story to write but I have to get a ball from q fucking lab Mutt

 

[Rebarcock.]

So there I was on a head boat deep sea fishing outta Murrels Inlet,SC, seafood Capitol of the World.
I was waiting tables and working steel.
In the 1995-6 range.
(My prints don't work bc of micro abrasions from tiny cuts for 30 years)
So this chick was engaged to a big end MB cokehead who was also a Cock head. @TopHook you know these fucks.
I worked for this perfectly devine person. I liked him. He liked me. We got along well.
He was booger sugared. Back when white meant right on give me a toot. But his appetite was insatiable before court.
LONG STORY short
Any if yall would have fucked her too. And she was cool and funny
I feel privileged to be her fucktoy break up.
True story

 

[TopHook]

So there I was on a head boat deep sea fishing outta Murrels Inlet,SC, seafood Capitol of the World.
I was waiting tables and working steel.
In the 1995-6 range.
(My prints don't work bc of micro abrasions from tiny cuts for 30 years)
So this chick was engaged to a big end MB cokehead who was also a Cock head. @TopHook you know these fucks.
I worked for this perfectly devine person. I liked him. He liked me. We got along well.
He was booger sugared. Back when white meant right on give me a toot. But his appetite was insatiable before court.
LONG STORY short
Any if yall would have fucked her too. And she was cool and funny
I feel privileged to be her fucktoy break up.
True story

Well did you catch anything?

 

[Rebarcock.]

Well did you catch anything?

Fucking dick warts dirty whore

 

[TopHook]

Fucking dick warts dirty whore

Blue crabs still good.

 

[Rebarcock.]

When I was 13 I got busted in a rudimentary counterfeiting scheme. I devised it all by myself ay 12.
I cut money up and made new money. Think photo shop in real life no computers.
The way money looks now is bc of a dumbass 13yr.
I shit you knot
Anyone wanna here how a 13 yr old boy beats SLED and the Feds? They still love me. They know I'm there to help wingnut.
Give me a minute. I know the whole story

 

[Rebarcock.]

Blue crabs still good.

We were in the neck

 

[Rebarcock.]

When I was 13 I got busted in a rudimentary counterfeiting scheme. I devised it all by myself ay 12.
I cut money up and made new money. Think photo shop in real life no computers.
The way money looks now is bc of a dumbass 13yr.
I shit you knot
Anyone wanna here how a 13 yr old boy beats SLED and the Feds? They still love me. They know I'm there to help wingnut.
Give me a minute. I know the whole story

So it used to be:
You could cut up a 20 and concrete paste it on a 1.00. You had to go to scale bc you needed 2 of ea side. (Every $ has a left and right) long story can't even tell it. If yall give a fuck I'll tell it all true. I read all this before I went to work. @kingsolomonwisdom tell Joseph's Son of God I'm a good dude. I'll never go to the Darkseid.

 

[Rebarcock.]

I was on a boat 10 years later w a fed who had been taught of my example. I once went past 20 miles me and the Captain got High af. Me.and DAWSON. worst fishing day of my life. Still fun. Had a half dozen sonic booms go off. All ayes. Only time I ever blew chunks off a boat.
The details are where shit get funny.

 

[LafesterMacintosh]

When I was 13 I got busted in a rudimentary counterfeiting scheme. I devised it all by myself ay 12.
I cut money up and made new money. Think photo shop in real life no computers.
The way money looks now is bc of a dumbass 13yr.
I shit you knot
Anyone wanna here how a 13 yr old boy beats SLED and the Feds? They still love me. They know I'm there to help wingnut.
Give me a minute. I know the whole story

 

[Rebarcock.]

So it used to be:
You could cut up a 20 and concrete paste it on a 1.00. You had to go to scale bc you needed 2 of ea side. (Every $ has a left and right) long story can't even tell it. If yall give a fuck I'll tell it all true. I read all this before I went to work. @kingsolomonwisdom tell Joseph's Son of God I'm a good dude. I'll never go to the Darkseid.

You could do it w 50s or 100s but people notice Ben franklin. They don't notice Jackson from Washington. They know who exploits that loopset

 

[Rebarcock.]

View attachment 206048

I'm a fucking wedding planner. You're either never married, never heard of RebarCock, or or or or a fucking Vermont tweedley. Are you w @Jake Broe Stan ? It makes perfect sense. You like Duke's or Heilman's more you fucking notsee?

 

[Rebarcock.]

So brave

I do think , in this spect and retrospect, you can eat a butthole bc your breath smells like that is normal. Brush your teeth Cappy Cyrstal. You're dumb ass had sed youres in the wrong places

 

[Rebarcock.]

Who wants to hear about stories of success? These are the middling years.