Official Tell Crootn a Story Thread

[Rebarcock.]

when i moved to MB i was 22. My dad and i lived in the beach house til our old house sold. Then him and my mom got a new olace and i had to find a place for myself. I moved down the road from some strippers and manager at THE MASTERS GENTLEMENS CLUB.

This may wiggle around but ill try to make it clear. I am writing this stream of thought/memory.

So Slick and his girl MaCoke were living together and i still see them every couple years. I consider them good friends. Well Slicks brother (we will call him Stinky) Stinky is moving down from jersey to the beach.
Stinky and I get a Lil pad next door to my 1br place. Well foodlion is just down the road.
Slick got Stinky a job at Masters and Macoke worked there too.
(I am the only one in our friends at this time working a normal job. All others are food/bev/tittles.

So i think it was super bowl 1998. Not everyone had a cell phone but i did. Same number i have today.
We throw a party and it is a couple of my normal buddies and 100 people that work at the Masters. Gotta be 60 strippers there.
Well two of these girls both like me but not each other.
I have no idea they Don t like each other.
At the party we run out of something. Cant remember what but we need someone to hit foodlion. Well we all know i love grocery stores so i chime in i will go. My truck tgen was a big dodge 4 door. But for some reason i had steel work stuff in tge back seat so room only for me +1. I ask the party if we need anything else and both these chicks come scooting over and wanna ride w me. Well i can only take one so i say first girl who asks can go. Girl 2 did not like that and somehow put visine in girl 1wine. If you Don t know visine will give you bubble guts faster than exlax. I certainly did not know this then.
So me and girl1 polish off our beverages and leave for the store maybe 1.5 mile away.
About the time we pull up i can see distress on girl1's face. As we are walking in I ask her if she is ok. We make it through the doors and she says see is gonna use the bathroom. I say no problem I am gonna go get the stuff. 5 min or less later I m hitting the cashier. Well this new foodlion has bathrooms at the front of the store. As I walk up to the cashier i can see someone had an accident before getting in the women's bathroom. I ask what happen and the young cashier dude said
"Some really hot girl just s hit all over the floor and ran out."
I looked honestly everywhere for her for 30-45min.
I call the party and ask if she is back there.
Stinky rode his furry bike around looking for her on the road
Girl1 never came back to the party or went back to masters to ever work again
Girl2 won. We banged that night

Lunch over forklift ready. I gotta work. Talk soon

 

[Rebarcock.]

I m trying to remember one i thought of earlier today but I cant recall if i was young or old. I have to compartmentalize different Reabarcock life timelines. If i didnt I would be depressed BC im possibly hell bound(not really but for the drama it worked)

 

[Sparty1045]

I forgot about my story. Back when I lived in Michigan I stole a fifth from Meijer. Camera caught me. I booked it out the door and stiff armed an employee who was trying to block the automatic door. I got to my buddies car who was waiting for me. They got his license plate on camera and called the cops who showed up at his house. My buddy didn’t snitch when his pops took him back to the store. He didn’t get in trouble since he didn’t steal it. Feltgoodman

 

[Rebarcock.]

I forgot about my story. Back when I lived in Michigan I stole a fifth from Meijer. Camera caught me. I booked it out the door and stiff armed an employee who was trying to block the automatic door. I got to my buddies car who was waiting for me. They got his license plate on camera and called the cops who showed up at his house. My buddy didn’t snitch when his pops took him back to the store. He didn’t get in trouble since he didn’t steal it. Feltgoodman

Lil bit of dirty myrtle in all of us.
Don t steal anymore. You are absolved by Rebarcock.

 

[Rebarcock.]

So i got a great two part story that is me and Evil/Grim and a Lil politician kid. From here out we can call gim Booger. Ga/USC FB game and the first super bowl Brady won. No grocery stories but it is a Doozy. (Hot chicks,football,nachos then super bowl, fallin', spiritual stuff, dudes tripping, super bowl actually there,misery, drive home)

But it isnt a grocery story.

 

[spf84]

I used to work at this Youngstown based grocery chain in high school that went out of business because it’s owner Mickey Monus was involved in about Amy kind of fraud as possible. He was paying off players for Tressell to get kids to stay home and win national titles. I worked there with like 5 buddies. We’d always have other friends pull up around back and we’d load up their trunks with cases of beer. That and some random Jamaican dude somehow ended up in Youngstown that worked there used to get us great weed. That’s about all I can contribute.

 

[Rebarcock.]

I forgot about my story. Back when I lived in Michigan I stole a fifth from Meijer. Camera caught me. I booked it out the door and stiff armed an employee who was trying to block the automatic door. I got to my buddies car who was waiting for me. They got his license plate on camera and called the cops who showed up at his house. My buddy didn’t snitch when his pops took him back to the store. He didn’t get in trouble since he didn’t steal it. Feltgoodman

You find out who your real friends are in time of peril. That is why peril is needed

 

[Rebarcock.]

I used to work at this Youngstown based grocery chain in high school that went out of business because it’s owner Mickey Monus was involved in about Amy kind of fraud as possible. He was paying off players for Tressell to get kids to stay home and win national titles. I worked there with like 5 buddies. We’d always have other friends pull up around back and we’d load up their trunks with cases of beer. That and some random Jamaican dude somehow ended up in Youngstown that worked there used to get us great weed. That’s about all I can contribute.

Beautiful. Friends and stories are special. They are usually funny or bad for us to remember.

 

[Rebarcock.]

I just read the first 1.5 pages to Slash.
He really enjoyed it.
Bubbles out.

 

[MortgageHorn]

When I have time I'll contribute - no grocery store stories - mainly titty bar/stripper stories, mushroom parties, and other crazy shit from @MortgageHorn other life many many years ago.

But no way I can hold a candle to Bubbles aka "The Champ"

 

[MortgageHorn]

By far my new favorite thread!

If you don't want to party with @Rebarcock. in Vegas than you need to stay home.

 

[GarnetPild]

fast forward and i turned 40. I wanted to quit smoking. Bet my neighbor i could. The bet was if i failed i had to duck hunt inside our Publix two blocks away.
I lived in a black neighborhood. I was 1st white guy there. My neighbor crooted me to move in.
3 weeks after i quit we are killing apple pie moonshine during yard work starting at 7am. Shitfaced by noon.
I bum a smoke from another guy. Neighbor cold busts me. I am getting ready to duck hunt in Publix. Fuck me.
A drinking buddy is the GM of this location. Big guy larger than life and just a good dude.
So I put on full duck suit. Waders, heavy jacket, gloves etc. My neighbor is army retired. He busts out face camo. I grab my duck call, his kids Nerf gun, a dove stool, and leave my inhibitions at home. Four of us leave flr Publix.
I look like Ive been hunting and get all my gear and start walking in to the store. The other 3 are 10 yards behind me. So i look like in alone.
When the doors whoosh open i swear the entire store looks at me and no one knows what to make of the situation.
I have the duck call in my mouth. Nerf gun slung over right arm dove stool over left shoulder, camo face and a Vietnam floppy camo hat on my head. I walk straight in to middle of produce and set my dove stool beside the corn. Ever one is watching my every move.
I sit down. I start calling ducks. About 15 seconds in i yell MARK and shoot a Nerf towards my imaginary ducks. Missed him. Shoot again. I yell to these guys HEY I GOT A MALLARD! I reach in to my waders and throw a decoy in the middle of the aisle.
My buddies are dying laughing. Falling on the floor.
A mom and toddler come walking by. The kid see the duck and quacks. I yell MARK and shoot the kid. Now the mom sees me and she is laughing her ass off.
About that time my buddy the GM is coming over looking worried about me. He has no idea it is me.
Then as he gets really close he sees my neighbor and buddies laughing. Sees the nerfs and lady laughing. Looks back at me and realizes what is going on. He dies laughing and asks us to leave. Gave the kid the Nerf gun grabbed the stuff and went and finished t the yard work

You in Mt Pleasant back then? I sold insurance in Charleston briefly, years ago. I was visiting some clients over in Mt P once, on Snowden Rd, and had no idea Mt Pleasant had areas that weren't lilly white. Not a soul on that street was white that I saw lol.

 

[imprimis]

I have found grocery store guys are either bad ass or not. There is no in between.
Maybe ill tell the football player story tonight

There were several Cowboys living in the area who shopped at that store. Wasn't unusual to see Charlie Waters, Cliff Harris, Chuck Howley and others in the store. Howley always bought 2 cartons of cigarettes weekly.

Another Asst Mgr and I chased two dudes across the parking lot each with 4 cartons of cigarettes. This was back when cigarettes were not encased like Ft Knox. Each dropped their cigs and were caught. Their smoking had to diminish their breathe as we caught both in full pant in about 100 yards. We didn't worry about them turning with guns and shooting. Shoplifting was a sport then.

 

[Rebarcock.]

You in Mt Pleasant back then? I sold insurance in Charleston briefly, years ago. I was visiting some clients over in Mt P once, on Snowden Rd, and had no idea Mt Pleasant had areas that weren't lilly white. Not a soul on that street was white that I saw lol.

Yesm i used to live in Greenhill til that place burned down. It is a sister community to Snowden off mathis ferry Rd. Now I live in Philips community off 41. Love it there

 

[GarnetPild]

Yesm i used to live in Greenhill til that place burned down. It is a sister community to Snowden off mathis ferry Rd. Now I live in Philips community off 41. Love it there

Been so long, & such a brief time, I can't even recall any names but remember there being good people around there.

Haven't asked you in a bit, how's your ammo situation these days? Know this stupid ammo crisis came at a shitty time, as you were recovering from the fire.

 

[Rebarcock.]

Been so long, & such a brief time, I can't even recall any names but remember there being good people around there.

Haven't asked you in a bit, how's your ammo situation these days? Know this stupid ammo crisis came at a shitty time, as you were recovering from the fire.

Im good for ammo on the guns i have now. I m thinking about getting a 22 repeater w a scope but haven t even really looked yet.
I have a 1000 rounds for a 22 and no gun.

 

[GarnetPild]

Im good for ammo on the guns i have now. I m thinking about getting a 22 repeater w a scope but haven t even really looked yet.
I have a 1000 rounds for a 22 and no gun.

Sounds like a problem you need to solve. Good luck! Got my first .22 semi-auto last year, a 10/22 deluxe. Spoiled myself with a Leupold 2-7 on it. Love plinking with this thing.

 

[Rebarcock.]

Sounds like a problem you need to solve. Good luck! Got my first .22 semi-auto last year, a 10/22 deluxe. Spoiled myself with a Leupold 2-7 on it. Love plinking with this thing.

I want a 17 shot that loads under the barrel. I grew up shooting one and it was a great reliable accurate shot. I nee s to look online or at palmetto

 

[GarnetPild]

I want a 17 shot that loads under the barrel. I grew up shooting one and it was a great reliable accurate shot. I nee s to look online or at palmetto

Like mine, but with this mag?

 

[Rebarcock.]

Like mine, but with this mag?

No you drop them in right by the end of the barrel. I m in the middle of a takeoff. When i get a min ill post a pic

 

[GarnetPild]

No you drop them in right by the end of the barrel. I m in the middle of a takeoff. When i get a min ill post a pic

Oh, ok. I think I got you. Load it like a .22 Marlin lever action, in a tube below the barrel?

 

[TopHook]

How many posters on Croot'n grew up in Myrtle? Count me in.

 

[Rebarcock.]

How many posters on Croot'n grew up in Myrtle? Count me in.

Didnt grow up there but opened a shop in 1995. Moved in 2004. Shop still there

 

[TopHook]

Didnt grow up there but opened a shop in 1995. Moved in 2004. Shop still there

Which one is it. I grew up in the pine lakes area now up in NMB closer to our company.

 

[yankmenoodle]

I think Harris Teeter and Publix are good stores. Kroger isn't bad, whichever is closest would be my favorite of the three.

Harris Teeter....I was wondering if there was really a store called Harry Peters.

 

[Rebarcock.]

Which one is it. I grew up in the pine lakes area now up in NMB closer to our

I lived off 62nd and 67th later but started out off forestbrook when i first moved there. What company you work for

 

[Rebarcock.]

Harris Teeter....I was wondering if there was really a store called Harry Peters.

Childish slang growing up. We always nickname anything possible

 

[Rebarcock.]

So I left work on a Friday afternoon.
Early summer 1999ish
Fridays at 5pm in MB is a traffic jam in all directions. So we would hit a surfer bar and get loose til 7pm then cruise home without traffic jams.

So I have Roscoe and Kayla (dogs)with me and a buddy is following us. We stop at a tourist grocery store(foodlion) just to get some beer and go out to the beach.

We pull up and park 69 style towards the middle of the lot. We see 3 young people acting the fool walking in to the store.
One of them sees my dogs and starts freaking. No big deal as MB is a vacation town and it is very normal to see people acting nutty on vacation.
Me and my dirty Pal(call him Dirty) walk in heading towards the beer aisle.
We hear screaming and see this guy running around the back of the store.
He is screaming "GET IT AWAY GET IT OFF ME. OW IT IS BITING ME"
Well being curious i wanna see what is chasing these tards.
Me and Dirty walk to the back and this dude is running around w his buddies chasing him.
Then he just suddenly stops, grabs a pole and locks his hands around it.
Well we are a good 4 aisles away and can tell these dudes are on drugs.
Spazzy starts crying. Like full blown snot bubble crying.
Wt f is wrong w these dudes.
Spazzy starts screaming again but wont let go of the post. His friends are trying to get him to let go but he starts screaming the dogs are gonna keep biting him.
At this point I fig they ate acid. Dude must have a phobia of dogs and seeing mine triggered the Fu ck outta him.
Roscoe was big and marked black and tan. Kinda looks like a floopy ear Doberman. kayla was a white mutt.
We are not going anywhere. We wanna watch what happens with these light weights from Ohio. ..
Well a few min later in walks a cop. Straight to them w a manager. The two buddies wanna peel away but the cop came up fast. Cop is asking questions but none of them can answer. Cop sees us. I mention it seems they ate acid and are tripping their balls off.
Cop calls EMT.
3 ambulances show up. It takes a half HR but they finally get Spazzy to let go of the pole. Strap him into the gurney where he cant move at all. They haul them away.


It dawned on me that it became a self fulfilling prophecy. Because they did get his ass which is why he was freaking out

 

[Dazed&confused]

Didnt grow up there but opened a shop in 1995. Moved in 2004. Shop still there

Didn't grow up there but my Grandmother owned a motel there so I spent lots of time there and some summers also.
This was in the 60's before it turned to shit.

 

[Rebarcock.]

Didn't grow up there but my Grandmother owned a motel there so I spent lots of time there and some summers also.
This was in the 60's before it turned to shit.

It hasnt turned turnt to s hit it has gotten bigger. Progress or regress which is better? Not trying to be a Dick so please Don t take it that was but if it weren't for growth I wouldnt part own 3 steel shops

 

[Dazed&confused]

It hasnt turned turnt to s hit it has gotten bigger. Progress or regress which is better? Not trying to be a Dick so please Don t take it that was but if it weren't for growth I wouldnt part own 3 steel shops

Totally understand and agree. Just makes my heart hurt to see what has become of 10 or so South to 25 or so north. Run down, trashy, and not safe looking at all.

Got to the point I'd spend a week in Garden City and never go farther north than Cromer's for boiled p-nuts.

Of course IRMO ain't exactly what it was in in 1971 either.

 

[Rebarcock.]

Totally understand and agree. Just makes my heart hurt to see what has become of 10 or so South to 25 or so north. Run down, trashy, and not safe looking at all.

Got to the point I'd spend a week in Garden City and never go farther north than Cromer's for boiled p-nuts.

Of course IRMO ain't exactly what it was in in 1971 either.

Come back and golf and see the good.
Ying Yang
Strong Dong style

 

[Dazed&confused]

Come back and golf and see the good.
Ying Yang
Strong Dong style

Thanks for the invite but I am a fisher not a golfer. But if I can outlive this virus I hope to get back to area this summer.

 

[quickfeet]

So I left work on a Friday afternoon.
Early summer 1999ish
Fridays at 5pm in MB is a traffic jam in all directions. So we would hit a surfer bar and get loose til 7pm then cruise home without traffic jams.

So I have Roscoe and Kayla (dogs)with me and a buddy is following us. We stop at a tourist grocery store(foodlion) just to get some beer and go out to the beach.

We pull up and park 69 style towards the middle of the lot. We see 3 young people acting the fool walking in to the store.
One of them sees my dogs and starts freaking. No big deal as MB is a vacation town and it is very normal to see people acting nutty on vacation.
Me and my dirty Pal(call him Dirty) walk in heading towards the beer aisle.
We hear screaming and see this guy running around the back of the store.
He is screaming "GET IT AWAY GET IT OFF ME. OW IT IS BITING ME"
Well being curious i wanna see what is chasing these tards.
Me and Dirty walk to the back and this dude is running around w his buddies chasing him.
Then he just suddenly stops, grabs a pole and locks his hands around it.
Well we are a good 4 aisles away and can tell these dudes are on drugs.
Spazzy starts crying. Like full blown snot bubble crying.
Wt f is wrong w these dudes.
Spazzy starts screaming again but wont let go of the post. His friends are trying to get him to let go but he starts screaming the dogs are gonna keep biting him.
At this point I fig they ate acid. Dude must have a phobia of dogs and seeing mine triggered the Fu ck outta him.
Roscoe was big and marked black and tan. Kinda looks like a floopy ear Doberman. kayla was a white mutt.
We are not going anywhere. We wanna watch what happens with these light weights from Ohio. ..
Well a few min later in walks a cop. Straight to them w a manager. The two buddies wanna peel away but the cop came up fast. Cop is asking questions but none of them can answer. Cop sees us. I mention it seems they ate acid and are tripping their balls off.
Cop calls EMT.
3 ambulances show up. It takes a half HR but they finally get Spazzy to let go of the pole. Strap him into the gurney where he cant move at all. They haul them away.


It dawned on me that it became a self fulfilling prophecy. Because they did get his ass which is why he was freaking out

You hitting the grocery store up this Friday afternoon when you get off?

 

[Rebarcock.]

Thanks for the invite but I am a fisher not a golfer. But if I can outlive this virus I hope to get back to area this summer.

Me too. We can go. Withernfriendsnboat or head boat deneding oncwhat yo wanna fish. Id reathcerbfish toom hiy me up. If my 27ft walk around triton isnworking we will go on them if now inhave friends w boats.

 

[Rebarcock.]

You hitting the grocery store up this Friday afternoon when you get off?

No I leftbwork early. I live in a swanpy spotnnow so Imcjustcgoing bringing inv5 dumpnloapds. 2 fill/ 2 top black soil and 15 tons of 1/4 0r 3/8 slaq ..I have a coule more 10+ that are good nut not grocery store. Ill up them out there too.. I got really busy at work so it cut in also.

Everything thisg is true but minor details that aren't releveant. I also have coolvones when fuckes w me now in jail for robbing backs and countrefit strories

You hitting the grocery store up this Friday afternoon when you get off?

That past is gone but I have 100+ good stories. This why I don't leave house for anywhere butfrom anothrr house. . i hit bank gas or store.
Maybe I will start another thread. Iikked writing thhese

 

[quickfeet]

No I leftbwork early. I live in a swanpy spotnnow so Imcjustcgoing bringing inv5 dumpnloapds. 2 fill/ 2 top black soil and 15 tons of 1/4 0r 3/8 slaq ..I have a coule more 10+ that are good nut not grocery store. Ill up them out there too.. I got really busy at work so it cut in also.

Everything thisg is true but minor details that aren't releveant. I also have coolvones when fuckes w me now in jail for robbing backs and countrefit strories

That past is gone but I have 100+ good stories. This why I don't leave house for anywhere butfrom anothrr house. . i hit bank gas or store.
Maybe I will start another thread. Iikked writing thhese

You crushed it in this thread. Great stories

 

[Rebarcock.]

You hitting the grocery store up this Friday afternoon when you get off?

Involve in Mt pleasant now.and ivmaake enough tocstop stealin. .I stopped at 22 . now i help as many asbi can to my own detriment

 

[Rebarcock.]

So I am gonna change the title of thread. Bow it is just stories.

Me and the kid who threw the bike at Mr.LP
Were hanging out on a friday (he is dead now so we can call him Jimmy)
Well at 15 i didnt and wouldnt do any hard SHIT. Booze and gangja soloamentë.
Well Jimmy the half pipe skeater and a buddy we can call Mr Dental all went to a kegger and the other 3 dropped.
Fast forward it is midnight and I got half oile, Jimmy to their places and me and Mr Dental
Got home.

I had trained our spaniels to never bark on my entry. Anyone else they went ape SHIT. But Im the dog guy....

So me and Mr Dental are in the front and almost on the first step towards freedom.
Then my mom yells out my dads name. They are hard core getting it on. Tripping Mr Dental could not contain himself and died laughing loudly repeating my Father's name.

To this day my folks have never brought it up.

 

[Rebarcock.]

I have a couple that id love to tell. But I don't wanna taken over like the grocery thread.

Anhthing welcome.
You were trudging thru a rice paddy

You were in a ford boardroom meeting

You farted and blamed your mother in law.
Basically a thread for us to just tell funny stories. I can tell a story about a bird shutting on my German Grandma in Ireland. I also got shitfaced on the same trip five stories up over Galway Bay Ireland.

If others chip in stories i think this could be good.