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Joke thread! I need some new material!

Goldhedge

Legendary
Joined
Mar 24, 2023
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5,818
Incest is best as long as you keep it in the family...

image-yGlFgIjG1Qw6svyQ.jpg
 

SoonerMD09

Elite
Joined
Jan 9, 2021
Messages
221
Two Irishman saved all their money and went to Germany for a vacation.

While there, they get the bright idea to get laid so they visit a brothel.

After they knock on the door, the madame of the house opens the peep window and asks the men what they want.

They tell her that they want to get laid but they only have fifty bucks. Insulted, she tells them to go fuck themselves.

About an hour later, there's a knock on the brothel door again. The madame once again opens the peep window and sees the two Irishmen in front of her.

Sheepishly, the first Irishman says, 'well, we fucked eachother, now who do we pay?'
 

Goldhedge

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Mar 24, 2023
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An old man was eating in a truck stop when three bikers walked in. As they passed the old man the first biker shoved his cigarette into the old man's pie. The second biker picked up the old man's milk and spit in it. The third biker turned over the old man's plate before joining the other two bikers at the counter.

The old man got up, paid his bill without saying a thing to the laughing bikers and left the diner.

One of the bikers said to the waitress, "Not much of a man, was he?"

The waitress replied, "He's not much of a truck driver either, he just backed his rig over three motorcycles."
 

Goldhedge

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Joined
Mar 24, 2023
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5,818

George Carlin - It's A BIG Club & You Ain't In It!​

'They don’t want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. They don’t want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. They’re not interested in that. That doesn’t help them. That's against their interests.'

'It's called the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.'

 
Joined
Feb 9, 2023
Messages
541
It's funny because it's true.

Give the white man a hammer and he will build you a civilization.

Give an Asian man a hammer and he will learn how to reproduce a cheap knockoff of the hammer.

Give the Mexican a hammer and they will build you a house.

Give an Indian man a hammer and he’ll find a way to create a scam out of it.

Give a Native American man a hammer and he will figure out a way to scalp you with it.

Give the Black man a hammer and he'll destroy the house.

Give a child of the devil aka Edomite Jew a hammer and he will distribute millions of the cheap Asian hammer’s to to blacks to destroy the white man's civilizations.

This is essentially the hierarchy of morality and helpful and positive contributions to society form each collective group summed up with a joke.
 
Joined
Feb 9, 2023
Messages
541
Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic Team?


Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already in the US...

I had no idea that was mostly true. I suppose they're also not really athletic, large in stature, or talented. Most citizens are poor as well. The Mexicans remind me of Filipinos, hard working, small in size, slightly chubby, seem to be happy, laugh a ton, gamble a good amount, not very intelligent but have positive attitudes, their languages are very similar and their overall appearance (shape, size, color, hair, eyes are similar).
 
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