My dad is a toxic narc bastard who deserves death.
75% sure you're trolling.
But in case you ain't and perhaps just haven't yet been able to accept the reality of life... that you're retarded...
just like me...
and literally everyone else.
Ya simply need to realize we're all lost cunts, confused, hopelessly flailing about trying to distract ourselves from the inevitability of our mortality... desperately doing whatever we can to avoid facing our-true-selves, hiding away, fearful of the fact that we will eventually experience our own death... alone...no matter how many people we surround ourselves with, no matter how much materialistic crap we've hoarded, no matter what we've achieved...in the end we stand alone staring down infinity.
Ironically, its the fundamental fear of reality, the existential terror of our own mortality which retards our brief living experience.
That's why we are so eager to play along with the insane ideological cult games of man/hueman-kind.
Why we self-identify, attaching our concept of self to matter-bound concepts which seem to transcend our mortal transience....politics, religions, possessions, and all manner of arrogant dumbassery...
unconsciously believing these attachments mean something in the grand scheme, that these might free us from our mortality, granting us eternal existence...
Your seemingly presented attachment is victimhood.
If genuine, then you appear to have attached yourself to bad shit that was done to you by others against your will before you had any chance to do anything about it...and by allowing it to define you ever since, means you have therefore allowed the bad shit and those who perpetrated it to dominate your will. To control you. To live rent free up in yo head.
Your father may have been a useless fuck who may have taken it upon himself to abuse you while you were innocent, dependant upon him, long before you ever had a chance to stand on your own or defend yourself...
...and you would have every right to be angered by this once realizing his shit.
Ya have every right to be pissed about whatever he did to you.
Ya have every right not to tolerate his shit ever again and to deny him access to your life.
But then why would you still allow him to have indirect control over you now.
Your father is not you. He does not have any authority over you.
You alone are you and only you have self-authority.
Ya have to accept the bad experiences you had no control over for what they were and allow forgiveness.
Yet forgiveness is not saying those who are guilty get to escape their guilt nor does it give them permission to continue perpetrating crimes against self... rather
completely the opposite.
Believe it or not a long time ago my own mother wilfully tried to kill me and my siblings in such a manner which intended to make it appear as if an innocent truck driver was to blame.
That bitches murderous scheme ultimately failed, but she essentially did initially escape accountability... infact she was portrayed as "a heroic single mother".
However I remember what she did...she knows it too...and the guilt she has for herself, she instead dumps on me... expecting me to carry her shitty burden...
c'ept I simply refuse...and so she hates me.
Of course I forgive her even though she has proven she probably won't ever admit to her evil shit...despite that I have afforded her plenty of opportunities to do so.
Yet either way regardless it don't mean I would allow her to fuck with me ever again.
She messed me up while I was innocent and dependant upon her as a parent... of course I could revert to victimhood ideologies by allowing her to indirectly control me like you-(supposedly)-do your father.
Allowing her seething little voice constantly in the back of my mind telling me "she hates me", "I'll never amount to nothin'", that "I'm worthless" and "she wishes she aborted me", that "I'm useless", "hopeless", "a coward like my father", or something she said last I saw her: "that she wishes I was born a girl coz then she could've profited pimping me out to her junkie retard friends", and blah blah blah...yet that's her narcissistic toxic shit, not mine. Its all on her.
Fucked if I'd ever carry her crap around like her personal little servant bitch.
I anticipate you'll more than likely as usual arrogantly reject the genuine insight I'm trying to share with you in the hope you might find some benefit for yourself from this...so I already accept this likelihood and preemptively care not what you choose to do or not do.
Go hard if you feel justified attempting to attack me... therefore acting just as your father supposedly did...thus only proving you are becoming your hated father.
That's all on you brah.