Stupid shit your Wife (errrr) Significant Other says

[ChicagoFats]

Was riding in the car with my wife yesterday and something happened that reminded me of this thread from rivals way back. Maybe we can revive it.

Wife and I escaped the house the other day, had the nanny come by for a few hours so that we could go run some errands. We put some place into the Waze GPS that was about 30 minutes away and as we are going we got one of the usual police warnings. We got to talking and it turns out that she thought that waze detected radar like a radar detector. Not the stupidest thing i've ever heard, but talk about totally missing the concept of the App ......

 

[Cre8ive]

How do you intend to properly punish her for her pedestrian lack of understanding?

 

[yankmenoodle]

I drive aggressive, but I'm safe.

 

[quickfeet]

Was riding in the car with my wife yesterday and something happened that reminded me of this thread from rivals way back. Maybe we can revive it.

Wife and I escaped the house the other day, had the nanny come by for a few hours so that we could go run some errands. We put some place into the Waze GPS that was about 30 minutes away and as we are going we got one of the usual police warnings. We got to talking and it turns out that she thought that waze detected radar like a radar detector. Not the stupidest thing i've ever heard, but talk about totally missing the concept of the App ......

Lol, however it wouldn't be to hard to integrate something like that if you had a bluetooth sensor that could detect X, Ka and Laser.

 

[quickfeet]

"Is something wrong"

Well there is now. I was perfectly peaceful but now you've put this voodoo hex on me so I have to figure out what is wrong

 

[REMESSIS]

“DONT PUT THAT IN MY ASS @REMESSIS!!!”

 

[PeytonMooning]

My step daughter asked me how many halves are in a football game once.

 

[Edgehollow]

My step daughter asked me how many halves are in a football game once.

My aunt asked me one time how many 1st downs a team can get during the game. I'd probably had better luck teaching her Chinese Algebra.

 

[UNC71-00]

We were just talking about tonight’s super moon and my wife was apparently amazed to learn that the moon orbits the earth and that the earth orbits the sun.

to hear her explain it, the both the sun and moon orbit the earth

 

[PeytonMooning]

We were just talking about tonight’s super moon and my wife was apparently amazed to learn that the moon orbits the earth and that the earth orbits the sun.

to hear her explain it, the both the sun and moon orbit the earth

Is she Catholic?

 

[UNC71-00]

Is she Catholic?

hahaha.

no.

 

[d-tiger45]

Watching football, my buddies girlfriend sees the camera on a close up of the QB and the caption, ‘

current drive, 6/8 72 yards.

she says very excitedly, ‘his name is current drive, thats cute’

 

[Oler Ted]

“I think I’m gonna go on a diet”

 

[Scratchmyvolsroughly]

Watching football, my buddies girlfriend sees the camera on a close up of the QB and the caption, ‘

current drive, 6/8 72 yards.

she says very excitedly, ‘his name is current drive, thats cute’

wow

 

[absoluteUnit]

Get a job @absoluteUnit

 

[PeytonMooning]

Watching football, my buddies girlfriend sees the camera on a close up of the QB and the caption, ‘

current drive, 6/8 72 yards.

she says very excitedly, ‘his name is current drive, thats cute’

Buddy has a basement that he turned into a home theater. During watch parties we force you to answer a question correctly to come down to watch because bitches don't shut the fuck up during games ( keep in mind there's a huge TV upstairs). Another buddy brought some sloot who was half wasted for the Super Bowl a few years ago. Question was simple: name the two teams playing and their starting QBs. She couldn't name either team. She was so offended she left - and got a DUI on the way home. She calls the buddy who brought her to come pick her up and he left her there until morning.

 

[Jtrain80]

Wife says to me:

That POW-MIA tribe sure is big, I have seen their flag all over.

Me: ??

You know, that indian tribe POW-MIA. They have the black flag we just drove by.

Me: I hope you haven't discussed this with anyone else.

 

[America 1st]

Get a job @absoluteUnit

Doesn't she know you are pursuing meme jihading?

Also

The wife and I were on our way to pick up dinner (Mexican takeout). We just get going down the road and she looks at me with a straight face and asks "is there is anything more peaceful than listening to the frogs on a summer night?"...

Spoiler: I thought I had trained her better...

 

[GarnetPild]

Buddy has a basement that he turned into a home theater. During watch parties we force you to answer a question correctly to come down to watch because bitches don't shut the fuck up during games ( keep in mind there's a huge TV upstairs). Another buddy brought some sloot who was half wasted for the Super Bowl a few years ago. Question was simple: name the two teams playing and their starting QBs. She couldn't name either team. She was so offended she left - and got a DUI on the way home. She calls the buddy who brought her to come pick her up and he left her there until morning.

Hahaha, dude that is fucking awesome. I have nothing to add...just that liking this post was not enough, so I had to reply.

 

[rCW702]

"There is no way it costs that much to fly to Hawaii".

Spoiler: In her head

 

[316what]

ESL Asian wife in a crowded movie theater when it was silent: what does cunt mean?

 

[shiv]

The keys are in my purse.

Wheres your purse? which purse? how fucking deep are they buried...

 

[Belezabro]

Buddy has a basement that he turned into a home theater. During watch parties we force you to answer a question correctly to come down to watch because bitches don't shut the fuck up during games ( keep in mind there's a huge TV upstairs). Another buddy brought some sloot who was half wasted for the Super Bowl a few years ago. Question was simple: name the two teams playing and their starting QBs. She couldn't name either team. She was so offended she left - and got a DUI on the way home. She calls the buddy who brought her to come pick her up and he left her there until morning.

The underrated movie, Diner:

 

[UNC71-00]

here’s a Saturday gem:

last year while planting her garden : “honey, will you put up a net fence around my garden to keep the deer away”. So I did.

this year while planting her garden: “I don’t think I need a net fence this year since the deer didn’t eat my plants last year”

 

[UNC71-00]

Fuck- she’s on a roll today

how the leaf blower usually hangs in the garage



this is how she hung it back today

 

[Astragalus]

Fuck- she’s on a roll today

how the leaf blower usually hangs in the garage

View attachment 18656

this is how she hung it back today

View attachment 18659

I don’t know, man. I’d just be happy that my wife actually used the leaf blower.

 

[UNC71-00]

I don’t know, man. I’d just be happy that my wife actually used the leaf blower.

she didn’t. She just put it away before I was finished with it.

 

[Jtrain80]

Fuck- she’s on a roll today

how the leaf blower usually hangs in the garage

View attachment 18656

this is how she hung it back today

View attachment 18659

Is that a saddle?

 

[Alpha_Cock]

Fuck- she’s on a roll today

how the leaf blower usually hangs in the garage

View attachment 18656

this is how she hung it back today

View attachment 18659

You got horses? Do you pressure wash them?