DEAR BOARD ENGINEERS PEs
Please read this post and then tell us dumb-asses what the hell it means.
Sincerely,
Stupid Mortgage Guy
Let's talk about scalar waves - the ultimate magic trick for UFOs to defy gravity. You know, because nothing says "alien technology" like a mathematical formula that nobody can quite grasp.
So, to break it down for you, in the world of physics, we've got two types of waves: scalars and vectors. Scalars are like the introverts of the group - they've got size, but no direction, like a temperature reading or a speed without a compass. Vectors, on the other hand, are the life of the party - they've got size and direction, like "I'm driving 50mph down this road" or "I'm being plowed by an eleven inch black cock."
Now, about these mystical scalar waves. They're like your hippie friend who swears they can levitate without a single scientific study to back it up. They exist as stationary patterns of energy (aka, a bunch of math scribbled on a chalkboard). And the best part? We're pretty sure they don't move through space like regular electromagnetic waves do. Nope, they just chill there, oscillating in line with the way they travel. It's like they're the only wave in the party that's trying too hard to fit in.
Of course, all of this is based on theoretical calculations, which is just a fancy way of saying "we think it's a good idea." And let's be real, without any experimental evidence to back it up, it's like your cousin claiming he's a banging a bunch of 10/10 women in Columbia (and we all know they’re whores and he’s paying for it).
Now, you might be thinking, "Hey, if we can harness scalar waves, we can totally manipulate gravity and make UFOs fly!" And that's exactly where I call “bullshit” on this. Sorry, folks, but unless someone can whip up a working prototype in their garage or a team of SpaceX scientists suddenly becomes interested in magic, this one's still firmly in the realm of science fiction.
And if you're wondering why I'm skeptical, it's because, in the world of physics, we like facts. We like data. And most of all, we like math that actually means something.
But hey, who knows? Maybe one day, we'll discover a way to harness scalar waves and make gravity do our bidding. Until then, I'll be over here, enjoying my gravity-bound existence and waiting for the day when aliens in flying saucers come knocking on my door, saying, "Hey, faggit, can you give us a ride to Mars? We heard scalar waves are the key to intergalactic travel.”
- a humble non-licensed but degreed engineer