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Question for the parents of the board

tgsio

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I thought I wanted to teach my oldest how to negotiate.

that was a terrible idea

I’ll see your 10 month at 39 and raise you a newborn at 44. He’s 3 now and I’m 47. It does keep you young but damn I got 4 boys 3, 6, 10, and 13. My old ass is having trouble keeping up!
There's a reason I wanted to be done having babies by 30. Missed my deadline by a year.

I will 50 when my son, the baby, goes to college.

There's positives and negatives (for lack of a better word) to having children young or waiting. It's whatever is right for your family. And ALL children are blessings... even when they're PITA teenagers. 🤣
 

Mmal7777

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There's a reason I wanted to be done having babies by 30. Missed my deadline by a year.

I will 50 when my son, the baby, goes to college.

There's positives and negatives (for lack of a better word) to having children young or waiting. It's whatever is right for your family. And ALL children are blessings... even when they're PITA teenagers. 🤣
To each there own. I graduated from UA. Lives in San Diego, telluride then 30A for 14 years. I had my fun as a young adult. Probably to much fun.

you get yours on the back end, I got mine on the front end. No way is right or wrong.
 

tgsio

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To each there own. I graduated from UA. Lives in San Diego, telluride then 30A for 14 years. I had my fun as a young adult. Probably to much fun.

you get yours on the back end, I got mine on the front end. No way is right or wrong.
💯
 

Teddy Jack

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Yes. Love, honesty, respect for others, and respect for themselves.

My husband comes first, as I do with him. Without us, they wouldn't exist. I believe our children seeing a strong marriage, even those times it's not particularly hearts and rainbows, is important.

Respect. I have always addressed my children as I expect them to address me and others. From the moment they were born, please, thank you, no ma'am, yes sir (etc) were what they heard. That's what knew as they learned to speak.

Never back down from standing up for yourself when it's important. And ALWAYS stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves. It's been interesting over the years how that differs with my girls and my boy. All of them do, just with different approaches. (And God help anybody who bullies or abuses any girl or anybody with special needs in my son's presence. Just go ahead and make your peace with God.)

Love: my love is unconditional. Liking them is another matter. They know the difference and that no matter how pissed I am over whatever, that's temporary. My love is not.

Honesty: don't lie. Ever. Full stop, no exception. Nothing is ever made better by lying.

I also let a lot of little things go that just aren't worth the fight in the grand scheme of things. I'm much less rigid than my parents were. I focus on the important things. We laugh...a lot. We enjoy being together.

And Sunday dinner is sacrosanct.

Edit: and yes, I spanked my kids... rarely, but I did.

The (now) funny instance...my son was 10ish?, Dad was out of town, Max was as big as I am (not a huge accomplishment 🤣) and thought that since we were the same size, he was now The Man. He lost his mind. Little shit yelled at me while trying to bow up and told me to sit down and leave him alone. HUGE mistake. I calmly walked to the kitchen and grabbed a wooden spoon (no need to hurt my hand while I wear his butt out), came back in front of him and full on lifted him and slammed him face down, ass up on the sofa and wore. him. out. Daddy got home a couple of days later. They had a father/son day. I've never asked exactly how that went, but I can guess.

Baby boy learned that no matter how big he thinks he is, mama will kick his ass. And then daddy will, too.

The most hilarious part? All of my wooden spoons disappeared. Gone. Every single one. I found one broken in half in the top of his closet 3 years later. I about peed my pants laughing. 🤣
I loved reading all of that. Good stuff, you.
 

America 1st

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Seriously... that's never been a topic of discussion.

The closest we've gotten is me saying I brought you into this world... and I will end your world as you know it.

Thus endeth the talk.
I honestly feel like I'm being trolled when I hear this from parents (including my own).

I don't mean to imply anyone is a bad parent cuz it's not my job to judge others.
 

tgsio

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I honestly feel like I'm being trolled when I hear this from parents (including my own).

I don't mean to imply anyone is a bad parent cuz it's not my job to judge others.
???

My kids, at least to my knowledge, have never pondered this philosophic topic. No troll.
 

America 1st

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???

My kids, at least to my knowledge, have never pondered this philosophic topic. No troll.
It just seems like one of those questions and realizations that would be hard to avoid (at least in my crazy brain).

Children don't choose their parents but parents choose their kids (especially true with abortion being a thing 😞).

Parents choose who they mate with to compound this issue. That's why choosing your partner over your children is confusing to me.

Edit: this is why I was looking for verses that specifically say to value your wife more than your children. I can't find any and Matthew 19:14 makes me feel like children come first even while loving your wife / spouse in the way those other verses describe.
 
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Scrouch2434

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It just seems like one of those questions and realizations that would be hard to avoid (at least in my crazy brain).

Children don't choose their parents but parents choose their kids (especially true with abortion being a thing 😞).

Parents choose who they mate with to compound this issue. That's why choosing your partner over your children is confusing to me.

Edit: this is why I was looking for verses that specifically say to value your wife more than your children. I can't find any and Matthew 19:14 makes me feel like children come first even while loving your wife / spouse in the way those other verses describe.
@America 1st
You don’t always plan on being a parent. My first child I found out I was a father , 2.5 months old.

my wife is a “step mom” but has been to every dance class, soccer practice and member of the PTA. She’s a rockstar without stepping over boundaries.

Children gravitate to parents/step who bring positivity, support and structure in their life.

The greatest joy with children is not seeing them do what you want, but them doing what you wish for them.
 

Dtcliffo

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How do y'all balance the whole I chose to create them (they didn't choose to be created or to be born into that life) sorta thing?
I have absolutely no idea what you’re asking here. Are you saying that it’s a selfish choice to have kids? As if I’m inflicting pain or subjecting them to something against their will?
 

America 1st

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I have absolutely no idea what you’re asking here. Are you saying that it’s a selfish choice to have kids? As if I’m inflicting pain or subjecting them to something against their will?
Not inflicting pain but definitely subjecting them to things against their will.

They had no choice in their creation and parents do.
 
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America 1st

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@America 1st
You don’t always plan on being a parent. My first child I found out I was a father , 2.5 months old.

my wife is a “step mom” but has been to every dance class, soccer practice and member of the PTA. She’s a rockstar without stepping over boundaries.

Children gravitate to parents/step who bring positivity, support and structure in their life.

The greatest joy with children is not seeing them do what you want, but them doing what you wish for them.
I get that some people don't plan on being parents but they still chose to have sex.

Got good an bad step parents myself so I can empathize with that as well.
 

Cletusnow

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There's a reason I wanted to be done having babies by 30. Missed my deadline by a year.

I will 50 when my son, the baby, goes to college.

There's positives and negatives (for lack of a better word) to having children young or waiting. It's whatever is right for your family. And ALL children are blessings... even when they're PITA teenagers. 🤣
My 13 year old is perfecting his resting bitch face at this point in his life.
 

SoonerMD09

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the last sentence is why he probably takes others toys and does what he wants.
LOL. Like I said, I am proud of his ambition. I want him to go after things he wants. And he's fucking two years old, ass hat.

Yeah, I should beat my kid for every time he does something I don't like. :rolleyes:
 

America 1st

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LOL. Like I said, I am proud of his ambition. I want him to go after things he wants. And he's fucking two years old, ass hat.

Yeah, I should beat my kid for every time he does something I don't like. :rolleyes:
It's amazing what some parents believe in and do to their kids.

I know plenty of people that would say you're being soft because of that last line lol.

Brings me back to my statement about them having no choice in being brought into this reality.
 

AC2020

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LOL. Like I said, I am proud of his ambition. I want him to go after things he wants. And he's fucking two years old, ass hat.

Yeah, I should beat my kid for every time he does something I don't like. :rolleyes:
The acorn usually doesn't fall far from the tree.
 

yankmenoodle

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Quick pro tip here.

God established a perfect order in Genesis:

1 God
2A. Man
2b. Women
3. The rest of Creation.

The entire Fall occurred because that order was completely turned upside down, with the snake deceiving the woman, the woman leading the man astray and the man disavowing God.

Pretty much every terrible idea we see today, and really throughout history, has or is attempting to violate that natural order. Feminism, Critical Theory, Climate Change, Animal Rights, Marxism, Paganism, are attempting to violate that order that God established in the first 2 chapters of Genesis.
Actually, Eve didn't lead Adam astray. Adam knew what he was doing. That's why man has authority because "it was the woman that was deceived." Adam loved her enough to join her in the fall, (mankind, not the season) whatever that meant. Chuck Missler
 

Hoosier in Mad Town

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Actually, Eve didn't lead Adam astray. Adam knew what he was doing. That's why man has authority because "it was the woman that was deceived." Adam loved her enough to join her in the fall, (mankind, not the season) whatever that meant. Chuck Missler
I would amend your statement to be that Adam lead poorly by not making a better decision, one that God commanded.

Not sure he did it out of a sacrifice. I've not read an commentary on the Fall that would support that assertion.
 

America 1st

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Bump so I can find out how parents deal with the reality and lifetime responsibility of bringing humans into this world without their consent.
 

RonwellQuincyDobbs

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Never negotiate with terrorists.

No shit! Not trying to break my arm while patting myself on the back but I am a great dad, flawed, but great! My son was a NICU baby, had to go after being born 7.5 weeks early and only 4 pounds 13 ounces. He had a 4+week stay after my wife had a 35 day stay in preterm labor. I'd just lost my job and ended up being a stay-at-home dad for his first year so we have a bond like no other. I mean, I love this boy who has come so far in his, almost, 7 years here with us...That being said, he has been an absolute shit the past couple of weeks! Before dinner tonight, pizza and a movie on Fridays, he is absolutely losing his shit over absolutely nothing...Said something really smartass about not getting his IPad back because I'm a mean dad! I fired back "No, it's because good parents don't negotiate with damn terrorists!" 🤷‍♂️

Then he chastised me for saying a cuss word, so I guess he got the win.
 
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Pillow Pants

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Enjoy every minute. The saying the days are long, the years are short is 100% truth.

Put down the phone. Play hooky from work. Play and spend time with just her. If you're working in the flowerbed or vacuuming the floor, let her help. She doesn't care what you are doing. She wants to do it with you.

If the laundry gets behind or the house gets messy? Guess what... that laundry and mess will be there in a few hours or tomorrow. In a few hours or tomorrow, you're little girl is going to be a little bit closer to being a teenager/adult.

Mine are 25, 22, 18 and 16. I'm 2 years away from all of my babies not being home. While I'm looking forward to that for them and me, at the same time...I miss my babies and little handprints all over the place. I miss the baby giggles that you can't help but laugh with. I miss the snuggles.
Perfect. And I agree completely.
 
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