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DGAFIAP: The Babylon Bee strikes again

hmt5000

Overlord
Founder
Joined
Dec 10, 2020
Messages
3,154
At least it wasn't KY.

iu
 

TJHall1

Overlord
Joined
Jan 9, 2021
Messages
5,821
I do remember a guy they called Hog at my first place of employment in the 70's. Hog himself, HIMSELF, told me he got the nickname because he was screwing a sow, and it sat down on him. He had to call his mom to get her off of him.
No fuckin way thats true! Holy shit hahaha
 

hmt5000

Overlord
Founder
Joined
Dec 10, 2020
Messages
3,154
I do remember a guy they called Hog at my first place of employment in the 70's. Hog himself, HIMSELF, told me he got the nickname because he was screwing a sow, and it sat down on him. He had to call his mom to get her off of him.
LOL. We had a country dude form Eastern KY move to the Louisville area that was country as fvck. He told me one time that he fvcked everything on the farm but the tractor and sat on the hood of it and jacked off. It was the hardest I had ever laughed.... and he might not of been joking. Good dude though.
 

yankmenoodle

Elite
Joined
Feb 4, 2021
Messages
512
I did something that really pissed my dad off. I asked him later if he remembered doing anything that really pissed his dad off. He said he killed a calf. I asked him how. He said he was screwing her and tried to pull her head around to kiss her, and broke her neck.
 

yankmenoodle

Elite
Joined
Feb 4, 2021
Messages
512
I had a co-worker that told me a cousin at a family reunion taught him how to masturbate. Naturally, he did it often, and during this time he developed a kidney infection. He said he almost died from the kidney infection because he was sure when he told his parents he was pissing blood, they were going to scream,Youve been jacking off!
 

Hb35

Leader
Joined
Jan 10, 2021
Messages
53
When I was 16 my dad made me work at the meat packing plant (to teach me to work and that I didnt want to work in a factory). I worked maintenance and the foreman was an old white guy. On lunch break, He was ranting about a story in the paper about an old woman getting raped.

He said, you aint gotta do that to an old woman. Theres plenty of things to fuck. I giggled, so he asked why and said back in the old days we didnt have a way to go to town as a kid, so we fucked everything on the farm. I said no you didnt and he started going through animals.

He said, boy Im going to tell you the truth. You cant get any pussy better than sheep pussy. The pussy and the ass are right there together with just a little skin between, so when you get in that pussy, all those little round shit balls on the other side of that skin are massaging your dick. Nothing better

I was just speechless and he said everyone knows sheep got the best pussy. Aint that right Raymond? And the old black guy said you got that right. Sheep got the best pussy

I never knew if they were for real or fuckin with me.
 

CMTiger15

Leader
Founder
Joined
Jan 9, 2021
Messages
78
When I was 16 my dad made me work at the meat packing plant (to teach me to work and that I didnt want to work in a factory). I worked maintenance and the foreman was an old white guy. On lunch break, He was ranting about a story in the paper about an old woman getting raped.

He said, you aint gotta do that to an old woman. Theres plenty of things to fuck. I giggled, so he asked why and said back in the old days we didnt have a way to go to town as a kid, so we fucked everything on the farm. I said no you didnt and he started going through animals.

He said, boy Im going to tell you the truth. You cant get any pussy better than sheep pussy. The pussy and the ass are right there together with just a little skin between, so when you get in that pussy, all those little round shit balls on the other side of that skin are massaging your dick. Nothing better

I was just speechless and he said everyone knows sheep got the best pussy. Aint that right Raymond? And the old black guy said you got that right. Sheep got the best pussy

I never knew if they were for real or fuckin with me.


A5-C03-A76-E495-4805-BAC5-1-DCEE52-FD3-D0.png
 

yankmenoodle

Elite
Joined
Feb 4, 2021
Messages
512
When I was 16 my dad made me work at the meat packing plant (to teach me to work and that I didnt want to work in a factory). I worked maintenance and the foreman was an old white guy. On lunch break, He was ranting about a story in the paper about an old woman getting raped.

He said, you aint gotta do that to an old woman. Theres plenty of things to fuck. I giggled, so he asked why and said back in the old days we didnt have a way to go to town as a kid, so we fucked everything on the farm. I said no you didnt and he started going through animals.

He said, boy Im going to tell you the truth. You cant get any pussy better than sheep pussy. The pussy and the ass are right there together with just a little skin between, so when you get in that pussy, all those little round shit balls on the other side of that skin are massaging your dick. Nothing better

I was just speechless and he said everyone knows sheep got the best pussy. Aint that right Raymond? And the old black guy said you got that right. Sheep got the best pussy

I never knew if they were for real or fuckin with me.
I heard a story about some soldiers in Afghanistan assuring a new guy they screwed sheep. He finally got horny enough and did it. The other soldiers were snickering when he returned, and he was furious they lied to him. They said they weren't lying, he just screwed an ugly one.
 

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