DGAFIAP: The Babylon Bee strikes again

[CMTiger15]

🤣🤣

 

[Croot_Overlord]

 

[CDDP]

LOL

 

[hmt5000]

At least it wasn't KY.

 

[yankmenoodle]

Alabama native and don't know anyone that did his sister. Know a couple that did their wife's sister.

Made me think of rodeo sex. Get on your wife doggie style, say "this is how your sister likes it," and see how long you can stay on.

 

[yankmenoodle]

I do remember a guy they called Hog at my first place of employment in the 70's. Hog himself, HIMSELF, told me he got the nickname because he was screwing a sow, and it sat down on him. He had to call his mom to get her off of him.

 

[TJHall1]

I do remember a guy they called Hog at my first place of employment in the 70's. Hog himself, HIMSELF, told me he got the nickname because he was screwing a sow, and it sat down on him. He had to call his mom to get her off of him.

No fuckin way thats true! Holy shit hahaha

 

[yankmenoodle]

No fuckin way thats true! Holy shit hahaha

He's probably dead now. His name was Hog Miller. He worked in the potting shop at a well known electronics company. This was 1976. He may have just told me that to scare me. It worked.

 

[TheNJNole]

Religion of peace..... piece of my asshole

 

[natureboyricflair]

 

[hmt5000]

I do remember a guy they called Hog at my first place of employment in the 70's. Hog himself, HIMSELF, told me he got the nickname because he was screwing a sow, and it sat down on him. He had to call his mom to get her off of him.

LOL. We had a country dude form Eastern KY move to the Louisville area that was country as fvck. He told me one time that he fvcked everything on the farm but the tractor and sat on the hood of it and jacked off. It was the hardest I had ever laughed.... and he might not of been joking. Good dude though.

 

[yankmenoodle]

I did something that really pissed my dad off. I asked him later if he remembered doing anything that really pissed his dad off. He said he killed a calf. I asked him how. He said he was screwing her and tried to pull her head around to kiss her, and broke her neck.

 

[yankmenoodle]

I had a co-worker that told me a cousin at a family reunion taught him how to masturbate. Naturally, he did it often, and during this time he developed a kidney infection. He said he almost died from the kidney infection because he was sure when he told his parents he was pissing blood, they were going to scream,”You’ve been jacking off!”

 

[CDDP]

 

[Wait What]

Is this where satire meets reality?

 

[Hb35]

When I was 16 my dad made me work at the meat packing plant (to teach me to work and that I didn’t want to work in a factory). I worked maintenance and the foreman was an old white guy. On lunch break, He was ranting about a story in the paper about an old woman getting raped.

He said, “you ain’t gotta do that to an old woman. There’s plenty of things to fuck.” I giggled, so he asked why and said “back in the old days we didn’t have a way to go to town as a kid, so we fucked everything on the farm”. I said “no you didn’t” and he started going through animals.

He said, “ boy I’m going to tell you the truth. You can’t get any pussy better than sheep pussy. The pussy and the ass are right there together with just a little skin between, so when you get in that pussy, all those little round shit balls on the other side of that skin are massaging your dick. Nothing better”

I was just speechless and he said “everyone knows sheep got the best pussy. Ain’t that right Raymond?” And the old black guy said “you got that right. Sheep got the best pussy”

I never knew if they were for real or fuckin with me.

 

[TJHall1]

Don't these guys know how to masturbate?

 

[CMTiger15]

When I was 16 my dad made me work at the meat packing plant (to teach me to work and that I didn’t want to work in a factory). I worked maintenance and the foreman was an old white guy. On lunch break, He was ranting about a story in the paper about an old woman getting raped.

He said, “you ain’t gotta do that to an old woman. There’s plenty of things to fuck.” I giggled, so he asked why and said “back in the old days we didn’t have a way to go to town as a kid, so we fucked everything on the farm”. I said “no you didn’t” and he started going through animals.

He said, “ boy I’m going to tell you the truth. You can’t get any pussy better than sheep pussy. The pussy and the ass are right there together with just a little skin between, so when you get in that pussy, all those little round shit balls on the other side of that skin are massaging your dick. Nothing better”

I was just speechless and he said “everyone knows sheep got the best pussy. Ain’t that right Raymond?” And the old black guy said “you got that right. Sheep got the best pussy”

I never knew if they were for real or fuckin with me.

 

[Alpha_Cock]

My new favorite...

 

[yankmenoodle]

When I was 16 my dad made me work at the meat packing plant (to teach me to work and that I didn’t want to work in a factory). I worked maintenance and the foreman was an old white guy. On lunch break, He was ranting about a story in the paper about an old woman getting raped.

He said, “you ain’t gotta do that to an old woman. There’s plenty of things to fuck.” I giggled, so he asked why and said “back in the old days we didn’t have a way to go to town as a kid, so we fucked everything on the farm”. I said “no you didn’t” and he started going through animals.

He said, “ boy I’m going to tell you the truth. You can’t get any pussy better than sheep pussy. The pussy and the ass are right there together with just a little skin between, so when you get in that pussy, all those little round shit balls on the other side of that skin are massaging your dick. Nothing better”

I was just speechless and he said “everyone knows sheep got the best pussy. Ain’t that right Raymond?” And the old black guy said “you got that right. Sheep got the best pussy”

I never knew if they were for real or fuckin with me.

I heard a story about some soldiers in Afghanistan assuring a new guy they screwed sheep. He finally got horny enough and did it. The other soldiers were snickering when he returned, and he was furious they lied to him. They said they weren't lying, he just screwed an ugly one.