Workday warrior / wage slave thread

[quickfeet]

Starting this thread to bitch, moan, describe, etc anything related to your work day to vent, laugh and generally pass some time through the day.

Anyhoo, it is Friday gents so cheers

 

[quickfeet]

Latest workplace jargon annoying the shit out of me: Open Kimono

We went over to this company working on the same contract and they were open and helpful about some things they work on. No need to describe it more than that IMO

Another coworker at a roundtable discussion later: They were very "open kimono". I wanted to respond that they were very "open butthole"

 

[Chuck 2020]

You should have responded with “they were as open as your wife’s legs for the gang bang the other night”. Assuming your coworker is a guy who is married.

 

[Edgehollow]

Latest workplace jargon annoying the shit out of me: Open Kimono

We went over to this company working on the same contract and they were open and helpful about some things they work on. No need to describe it more than that IMO

Another coworker at a roundtable discussion later: They were very "open kimono". I wanted to respond that they were very "open butthole"

I would have went with being offended that he was insulting Asians.

I have a manager out on vacation til next Thursday, so I'm working harder than normal. Also was just informed that my business had a "large profit", which equates to a large tax bill. Hopefully the rentals can offset some of that.

First World/White people problems.

 

[Joe Kings]

Latest workplace jargon annoying the shit out of me: Open Kimono

We went over to this company working on the same contract and they were open and helpful about some things they work on. No need to describe it more than that IMO

Another coworker at a roundtable discussion later: They were very "open kimono". I wanted to respond that they were very "open butthole"

Open Kimono is an outdated and offensive term, which can also be described with the term "open the books." It means to reveal what is being planned or to .. Open Butthole might as well be used. A lot of the ladies I have to deal with like to use the term Circle Back now.. Mainly northeasterners. Like we havent heard that before

 

[Jtrain80]

Where to start....

Down in Laredo TX. Only 2 radio stations speak English. Damn menus are written in Spanish.

My feet hurt.

Had a bad run of customers that I sit in a van for 12 hrs straight with. Just unlikable people.

At least that woke shit hasn't hit the oilfield. Companies are really struggling to find help.

 

[quickfeet]

I would have went with being offended that he was insulting Asians.

I have a manager out on vacation til next Thursday, so I'm working harder than normal. Also was just informed that my business had a "large profit", which equates to a large tax bill. Hopefully the rentals can offset some of that.

First World/White people problems.

Open Kimono is an outdated and offensive term, which can also be described with the term "open the books." It means to reveal what is being planned or to .. Open Butthole might as well be used. A lot of the ladies I have to deal with like to use the term Circle Back now.. Mainly northeasterners. Like we havent heard that before

If I didn't kinda like the guy that said it, that could have been a wonderful email to work up for HR

 

[America 1st]

These stupid bitches that work inn the office always forget two attach all the required documents eye knead with my client files.

The won bitch has Ben with us four 20+ years sew firing her dumb fat ass isn’t an option unfortunately.

 

[quickfeet]

These stupid bitches that work inn the office always forget two attach all the required documents eye knead with my client files.

The won bitch has Ben with us four 20+ years sew firing her dumb fat ass isn’t an option unfortunately.

Anykind of paperwork is such a pain in the ass. Real men retain all the information in their head and don't need paperwork

 

[quickfeet]

Started Monday hot with too much covfeffe

 

[America 1st]

Anykind of paperwork is such a pain in the ass. Real men retain all the information in their head and don't need paperwork

Eye wish butt the federal government says otherwise

 

[MVTPatriot]

Short week this week. About to head to Tampa for a new hire training on Wed. They vacay to Indy to see my two girls.
Can't wait!

 

[quickfeet]

A appreciate your time and I'm gonna give you 30 minutes back on your day

 

[champsballs]

I’m taking a nasty shit at work and I’m going to use an obscene amount of TP. I’m mean this shit spakled the entire inside of the toilet even up to the rim.
Hope this helps

 

[Taggart]

I’m taking a nasty shit at work and I’m going to use an obscene amount of TP. I’m mean this shit spakled the entire inside of the toilet even up to the rim.
Hope this helps

Make sure to wipe your balls if it was that explosive.

 

[quickfeet]

Make sure to wipe your balls if it was that explosive.

Great advice

 

[Long Cat V2.0]

I can’t stand people that say happy Friday and things like that. It just means I ran out of week before I got my work done. Every single week.

 

[Taggart]

I can’t stand people that say happy Friday and things like that. It just means I ran out of week before I got my work done. Every single week.

HAPPY HUMP DAY

 

[champsballs]

Great advice

@Taggart

There’s a move I like to call the chocolate teabag. If the sink has a drain you gotta plug it and fill with luke warm water, not hot water it needs to be less than 106 degrees. It takes quite a bit of upper body strength but all u gotta do is get ur balls up there and do a few dips, can let them soak if you prefer. Usually works best if u can dip all the way down to the taint
You are all welcome

 

[TJHall1]

@Taggart

There’s a move I like to call the chocolate teabag. If the sink has a drain you gotta plug it and fill with luke warm water, not hot water it needs to be less than 106 degrees. It takes quite a bit of upper body strength but all u gotta do is get ur balls up there and do a few dips, can let them soak if you prefer. Usually works best if u can dip all the way down to the taint
You are all welcome

I am trying to figure out how you can get your taint in the sink. Are you doing reverse dips facing away from the sink? In that case I'm just gonna sit in the sink and soak.

 

[Oler Ted]

@Taggart

There’s a move I like to call the chocolate teabag. If the sink has a drain you gotta plug it and fill with luke warm water, not hot water it needs to be less than 106 degrees. It takes quite a bit of upper body strength but all u gotta do is get ur balls up there and do a few dips, can let them soak if you prefer. Usually works best if u can dip all the way down to the taint
You are all welcome

Can you get me the phone number to your HR department?

 

[champsballs]

I am trying to figure out how you can get your taint in the sink. Are you doing reverse dips facing away from the sink? In that case I'm just gonna sit in the sink and soak.

This is exactly the technique, face away and do a reverse push-up type of move. You need to get enough height so you don’t streak the sink with your stink. Don’t just think you can sit back and soak, or else the faucet can really cause some damage, unless you’re into that type of thing.

 

[TJHall1]

This is exactly the technique, face away and do a reverse push-up type of move. You need to get enough height so you don’t streak the sink with your stink. Don’t just think you can sit back and soak, or else the faucet can really cause some damage, unless you’re into that type of thing.

Rotational faucet

 

[quickfeet]

@Taggart

There’s a move I like to call the chocolate teabag. If the sink has a drain you gotta plug it and fill with luke warm water, not hot water it needs to be less than 106 degrees. It takes quite a bit of upper body strength but all u gotta do is get ur balls up there and do a few dips, can let them soak if you prefer. Usually works best if u can dip all the way down to the taint
You are all welcome

Tried it this morning and broke the mirror

 

[quickfeet]

Have you ever noticed how black guys in the work place completely change their attitude and the way they talk when another black man is in the area? I always find it interesting.

 

[BurntJ]

Latest workplace jargon annoying the shit out of me: Open Kimono

We went over to this company working on the same contract and they were open and helpful about some things they work on. No need to describe it more than that IMO

Another coworker at a roundtable discussion later: They were very "open kimono". I wanted to respond that they were very "open butthole"

Shirley yore co-worked isn't always this blatantly racist in the office.

 

[quickfeet]

Fuckin meetings all week sucks. I just drink a bunch of water and see how long I can go without having to piss my pants.

Then when there is a break I just fucking blast the urinal with all the meeting attendees to show that I’m an alpha

 

[champsballs]

Fuckin meetings all week sucks. I just drink a bunch of water and see how long I can go without having to piss my pants.

Then when there is a break I just fucking blast the urinal with all the meeting attendees to show that I’m an alpha

This is a boss move right there.
If you really wanna get that bladder stretched do an IV with bag of just fluids and have it pumping all night when sleeping or relaxing I just pissed so long I had 3 different neighbors at the urinal beside me come and go but the only downfall is not much room for stomach I can’t gorge 10 lbs of Chinese Buffet like used too shit will balance out eventually

 

[Taggart]

Fuckin meetings all week sucks. I just drink a bunch of water and see how long I can go without having to piss my pants.

Then when there is a break I just fucking blast the urinal with all the meeting attendees to show that I’m an alpha

Not as alpha as this dude

 

[quickfeet]

Not as alpha as this dude

Didn’t even wash his hands. My man

 

[yankmenoodle]

Have you ever noticed how black guys in the work place completely change their attitude and the way they talk when another black man is in the area? I always find it interesting.

We have no black people.

 

[SmokeHouse423]

We have no black people.

Speaking of that, i rarely see any men of color working

 

[Deleted member 2886]

Fuckin meetings all week sucks. I just drink a bunch of water and see how long I can go without having to piss my pants.

Then when there is a break I just fucking blast the urinal with all the meeting attendees to show that I’m an alpha

Fuck yeah!
I agree with @champsballs - Boss AF!

 

[champsballs]

Fuck yeah!
I agree with @champsballs - Boss AF!
View attachment 99175

My favorites pissing in those big long horse troughs. I get ‘em with the heavy flow that never ends and splashing all over the place

 

[shiv]

Fuckin travel / expense reports is such a fuckin pain in the ass. I filled out all my shit, attached the receipts. They rejected it saying I didn’t attach reciepts. I go look to attach receipts. I can’t because they are already attached. Now I’m in a Mexican standoff with the accounting department. They love responding to tell me I’ve done something wrong, but now that I’ve tried to explain it’s done right they won’t respond. I just want to get this shit done before the weekend starts

 

[TJHall1]

Fuckin travel / expense reports is such a fuckin pain in the ass. I filled out all my shit, attached the receipts. They rejected it saying I didn’t attach reciepts. I go look to attach receipts. I can’t because they are already attached. Now I’m in a Mexican standoff with the accounting department. They love responding to tell me I’ve done something wrong, but now that I’ve tried to explain it’s done right they won’t respond. I just want to get this shit done before the weekend starts

View attachment 102935

 

[shiv]

Already been maxxed out by the IT guy this week because he’s saying he can’t install some software because of network security policy, and then when I ask who we can talk to in security to dig in he snapped and said “we’re not just going to change how we do things on the network!”. Oh so really
He just didn’t want to do his job

I’ve already lost one job for yelling at people so I keep my cool these days. He looked like an ass in front of several other people when he made that comment. I could run it up the chain, but I’m gonna hold on to it for now and let him pile up some fuckups

 

[shiv]

I can’t stand people that say happy Friday and things like that. It just means I ran out of week before I got my work done. Every single week.

Happy Friday bro

 

[shiv]

Was trying to get in the office early today to leave early, but I can’t stop shitting at home

 

[GarnetPild]

Was trying to get in the office early today to leave early, but I can’t stop shitting at home

Holding it til work is the best, if you can...then you get paid to shit.