https://suno.com/s/cxxIHSJ3j4cX232Q
Legendary Super Upbeat 80s playful cinematic story telling meets savage gritty 90s street flow-etry type Banger with clean clear crisp male vocals and centered engineering
Science died the day I was E.C.T.'d as a child so I've never believed in science Religion died for me the day I begged Jesus To make it all stop & when the silent abuse continued It ended up killing every single aspect of religion for me The feds tho
Have reminded me every step along the way of my entire life, to never believe in government nor the officials who represent government Movies & television died for me many many years ago
I remember the day vividly 9-11 That's when all the scripts blended together & died
Music was my crutch for many decades even after I realized that music is even more of a liar than everything put together So I made music like therapy & it spoke back before & for a long time Giving me feedback beyond my wildest fathomings Whether I absolutely crashed or crushed it as an Emcee Producer or Writer
I was afforded a simple type of Say hey listen this works but this don't
Trial & Error
Like listening to old artists or bands or even new artists & bands Michelle Annete & Sabrina were about the last ones who really enthralled me Ana tho
Always holds a specifically special place in my jukebox of a heart I'll always want to hear her creative style come to life No Recs is nearing Five Kay generations thru all the tracks that I've given up to Suno & yet It's just never the same as recording for myself It's like the more I understand what I want from out of all this The harder & harder life & everything else makes it just so I can not continue the passions I have for
Trial & Error
Like when I've created a truly beautiful song but produced it like Shh or when I've created another abstract piece of Shh but produced it professionally I used to have listening epiphanies on old school classic & soft rock country metal & pop & then the dis-allusions happened Like with rap when I realized Their all just a bunch of D. V. offenders & habitual re-zit-ah-vists Like this is it? This is all there is? Druggies Alcoholics & Abusers across all genres?
Thats something thats always made me want to produce even more Cuz once you've jumped into the music worlds pocket & the music world & Thusly owns not only you but also your sound & then the industry changes you or shreds-chews you up & spits you right back out Now before you say anything I know it's a scam but how about like when just the other day I get an email about some jew wanting to be my manager for 25 bucks a month? A beginners stiff contract?
Just to get the big bend me over contract?
No thanks & then these pussies on here with all their Shh talk & no real feed back or actual listening Where everyone thinks I'm actually looking for a hey that's good responses When in reality I'm not
Like back in my youtube days when nukas would send full on big ol Fu- You videos to me
Precious pieces of shits that I just flushed Like whenever I've take'n-took shits on the Shh-tier
But just how does depressive music fix me exactly tho you ask? A pro-ponderance of what I've always wrestled with, if I'd of ever wrestled with any inner demons
Sabrina passed many years ago & Michelle just isn't the same musically nowadays just like Annete & I'm still waiting for Ana
So-no it's just not the same Like when I heard 90s R & B I felt just like I did when I first heard Michelle Annette or Sabrina
I was devastated enough to take on the world & not give up Now tho
There's like 1 song every 5 years that actually does anything for me internally Is it intentional Like the false memories making me cling to a past that very well may not be true?
Like whenever I rip Hotel Paper I think about the past as a whole Including my future self thats stuck reflecting on all the Shh days that I spent as a human on earth & wallowed in Shh
Which is where I've now come to realize that Suno just doesn't hit the spot like it used to
As when I produced & now after re-listening to my entire original archive Ten times over It's just not the same either
Be cuz I have so much more that I want to produce on my own as my own creator Sort of like when I hear a song straight ripped from the pages of my life Leaving me feeling like I should have produced that piece not that piece of Shh
Now however I no longer get depressive over any aspect of the mortal life I do tho get highly aggressive be cuz I do not have the time & space to rely on the one therapist that's ever fixed any of the worst wrongs of & in my life
It's not even the peak 17 year old-old me That mentally kicks my ass the worst It's the younger version of the new me That used to record any time Anywhere that inflicts the worst & most trauma I do not have any other human attributes like skill trade or any type of formal education Just what I hear inside my mind & heart & even tho I have more than ten thousand songs between my own archive & my Suno archive I still have a gazillion more songs I have to Need to personally produce Even if some of the productions come out wrong thats the basic backbone of any creator
Trial & Error
