Things that annoy you about your wife

[CumAllahHerAss]

That will all change if you put a ring on her finger....

Her dad is an asshole and her sister is a complete cunt (not to me, just in general), her mom is a sweetheart though. I honestly think she'll be just like her mom if we got married, but I don't plan to find out.

 

[UNC71-00]

My girlfriend is the easiest person to get along with. Never argues with me, always wants to do whatever I'm doing, and will support me in just about anything. It's pretty exhausting and probably why I'll never marry her. I need confrontation. You'd think with her being a latina there'd be some fire there, but she got her mom's personality unfortunately.

Girlfriends are into sales, wives are into management.

 

[CBradSmith]

Girlfriends are into sales, wives are into management.

I'm keeping this.

 

[Davy Crockett’s Ghost]

Watching a movie....

Her- what does that mean?

Me- just wait a minute and we will find out

Her- but why did he do that?

Me- I bet they tell us in just a little bit

Her- I don’t get it- why did she say that?

Me- if you would shut the fuck up, we will find out. If you don’t, we will miss it because you are yapping.

Her- you don’t have to be such a dick

Every god damn movie

 

[txwolverines]

How did you meet my wife and how long has this affair gone on?

Get this. We are refinancing and are closing in about 1.5 hours. She still has not taken her shower she said she would, and she's going to take 30-40 minutes getting ready. Granted, she's working from home but she has had plenty of time to plan this out. She hasn't. We are going to be late.....again. Drives me up the fucking wall.

 

[Chauvinist Pig]

Girlfriends are into sales, wives are into management.

This is classic. So true. I’m stealing this as well.

 

[Zach10]

She repeats herself 5x any time she tells me a story then gets mad at me when I zone out of her telling me about her day.

If a schedule changes at all she cant handle it. "What do you mean we are going to go to their house before the game? We were leaving at 6."

She makes mountains out of molehills. She cant take any criticism. She will cuss at me but if I slightly raise my voice I am yelling at her.

Good thing I married my best friend.

 

[Edgehollow]

Same on the movie thing. We can both be watching a movie for the first time, and she'll ask me 5 times "what's gonna happen?". How the fuck do I know?

Moved into our house 2 years ago. She loaded the dishwasher for the first time last week, but didn't start it because she didn't know how.

Will NEVER FUCKING MAKE A DECISION about where we're eating. She's the pickier of us, but it's always "oh I don't care".

I could go on...but we've all been there/are there.

 

[RJ2kWJ]

I can’t decide if this thread is making me glad I’m not married, or jealous from the constant jokes I’d be able to write and the experiences I’m missing out on.

 

[UNC71-00]

Get this. We are refinancing and are closing in about 1.5 hours. She still has not taken her shower she said she would, and she's going to take 30-40 minutes getting ready. Granted, she's working from home but she has had plenty of time to plan this out. She hasn't. We are going to be late.....again. Drives me up the fucking wall.

My ex-wife did this shit too and it killed me.

The only solution I ever found that had a chance of working was to tell her that the meeting time was 1 hr earlier than it actually was. Still ended up late plenty of times though.

 

[txwolverines]

My ex-wife did this shit too and it killed me.

The only solution I ever found that had a chance of working was to tell her that the meeting time was 1 hr earlier than it actually was. Still ended up late plenty of times though.

Have tried that too. It doesn’t work.

Btw, still haven’t left the house. We’re going to be late. But then I get mad about it, and then I’m the asshole. I swear.

 

[WallBanger901]

Get this. We are refinancing and are closing in about 1.5 hours. She still has not taken her shower she said she would, and she's going to take 30-40 minutes getting ready. Granted, she's working from home but she has had plenty of time to plan this out. She hasn't. We are going to be late.....again. Drives me up the fucking wall.

But it’s your fault for ruining the day (and or) mood because you were irritated and tried to hurry the situation along?

Absolute powder keg trigger for me when she’s had all day to get ready for a planned event and is still late.

 

[Boom82]

my fiancé is pregnant and has terrible gas. Is that normal?

I would be filing for divorce immediately. No one is fucking with my throne

 

[SoonerMD09]

I get up in the morning. Get my kid. Change his diaper. Carry his ass downstairs, make coffee, make my wife tea, pour some milk for the kid. Start breakfast. By now kid has gone into the bedroom to hang out with mom.
Bring all the breakfast, drinks, etc and start sesame street for the kid.
Go to work.
Come home, shower. Take the kid w me to clean him off. Start making something for dinner. Eat. Sit down to check tmb.

"You just going to be on your phone all night?"

Every.fucking. day.

 

[Mud flap]

Mine will start talking to me in mid sentence like she said half the shit in her head before she opened her mouth. Drives me insane.

 

[Oklahoma]

My wife has never ordered at a drive through without saying “hold on a minute” as she peruses a menu that hasn’t changed since she was born. We have to disrupt the flow of the universe so she can order a cheeseburger with nothing on it.

 

[TigerNole]

I get up in the morning. Get my kid. Change his diaper. Carry his ass downstairs, make coffee, make my wife tea, pour some milk for the kid. Start breakfast. By now kid has gone into the bedroom to hang out with mom.
Bring all the breakfast, drinks, etc and start sesame street for the kid.
Go to work.
Come home, shower. Take the kid w me to clean him off. Start making something for dinner. Eat. Sit down to check tmb.

"You just going to be on your phone all night?"

Every.fucking. day.

This sleighed me. So true.

 

[Alpha_Cock]

When we argue:

Her-"You always think your right and I'm wrong"
Me: Duh, what the hell do you think an argument is?

 

[Quatch$]

My best friend forgets shit all the time bc she is “super mom” and doesn’t make list or anything. Then she always tries to make up some shit about why it didn’t get done. As an example, my Christmas gift is still being shipped apparently.

Also, the once a month she goes out with friends she talks about how she’s gonna come home and fuck my brains out, but she gets too hammered and falls asleep on the couch when she gets back. I then proceed upstairs and scroll through @essoclub threads.

 

[Josey Wales]

*******Edit**********

Forgot she’d joined!!!!!!

 

[AC2020]

When she accuses me of stupid crap and then gets upset when I speak up to defend myself.

On the other hand she gets upset when I blow off her accusations and say "whatever."

Great @Kenny Orange Powers, you have me starting my day with higher than normal blood pressure and pissed off.

Whatever.

 

[WestcampTX]

Nice try honey.

 

[Sloppy Mexican]

I swear my wife has conversations with herself and then utters an “umm” like she has something profound to say to me. When I stare at her blankly waiting for this profound statement I always come up empty handed. After 17 years, I umm her right back.

 

[CBradSmith]

I drive us 100% of the time. She makes copious amounts of observations that are absurd or basically not notable. "That house needs some work." "Jeez they're going a little fast." "We're hitting all the red lights." After almost every utterance she looks at me for agreement or some add-on statement.

Now, one of those statements, said occasionally, will evoke a response from me. But a play-by-play of our 4 minute drive home from Chik-fil-a is mind-numbing. Then she adds "don't you agree" at the end of the statements, and I about lose my mind.

To her credit after the 5th or 6th utterance that I tune out, she'll start smiling and say "I annoy you so much don't I." That's when I give the random observation play-by-play back to her. "That house needs painting." "Those trees need pruning." "That's a huge pile of dog shit." And we laugh.

 

[GatorOK]

Watching a movie....

Her- what does that mean?

Me- just wait a minute and we will find out

Her- but why did he do that?

Me- I bet they tell us in just a little bit

Her- I don’t get it- why did she say that?

Me- if you would shut the fuck up, we will find out. If you don’t, we will miss it because you are yapping.

Her- you don’t have to be such a dick

Were you listening through my Alexa last night......

My favorite
her: I would never buy that

Me: They don't give a shit what you think

her

 

[CumAllahHerAss]

My best friend forgets shit all the time bc she is “super mom” and doesn’t make list or anything. Then she always tries to make up some shit about why it didn’t get done. As an example, my Christmas gift is still being shipped apparently.

Also, the once a month she goes out with friends she talks about how she’s gonna come home and fuck my brains out, but she gets too hammered and falls asleep on the couch when she gets back. I then proceed upstairs and scroll through @essoclub threads.

www.pornhub.com Here ya go, bud.

 

[U2fan]

Seriously, she wont dress slutty enough for me when we go out......is it too much to ask for a super short mini skirt? Its not like we get to go out much!

 

[Greeneyes113]

When I call her as she’s getting to the gym to remind her we have dinner plans when she’s done. But then she calls an hour later and says her trainer and her are going to work on some new stretches. Then she comes home 4 hours later and we missed our dinner reservations. Really rustles me.

 

[TheJunto]

Her: “It’s cold in here.”
Turns the heat up to 76.
Fifteen minutes later, “Why is it so hot in here?”
Turns the heat down to 64.
Fifteen minutes later, you guessed it, “It’s cold!”

Me: “I wonder what bullets taste like?”

 

[N. Pappagiorgio]

When I call her as she’s getting to the gym to remind her we have dinner plans when she’s done. But then she calls an hour later and says her trainer and her are going to work on some new stretches. Then she comes home 4 hours later and we missed our dinner reservations. Really rustles me.

You might want to put a tracking device in her purse.

 

[y2kcane]

Only one little thing, that she's my wife. Everything else is great!

 

[skramer100]

No matter what she makes in the microwave, no matter how long it takes she always stops it before it is done. Then she leaves the damn time on the microwave and won't clear it. I didn't clear it one time for over a day and she never changed it.

 

[Cletusnow]

The wife is a complete and utter slob. I on the other hand am fairly neat and put together, and try to keep the place halfway decent, and clean as I go. Well, once a month she gets a wild hair across her ass to clean up. Woe unto me if I don’t jump right in and ‘pull my weight’ for the 5 hour house cleaning.

 

[Cooper]

My wife has never turned off a light in her life.

 

[Tell_Sackett]

This probably isn't a good subject for my first post on the new board, but here it goes.

She is clean, but not neat.

She can organize a day planner as if she was a Rolex, but can't organize or arrange any tangible object in a room.

She has never hung a straight or centered picture in her life and gets mad when I fix it. What are we, the Addams family?

She starts planning the kids bedtimes as early as noon. She is a bedtime Nazi....I think she sets a silent alarm on her phone as she's not a minute late on herding them to bed ever. Some of our biggest arguments center around this. I can work until 700 or 730 some nights and would like to spend an extra 30 minutes now and then with my kids. Everything stops for her at 830.

She is completely illogical... honey belongs with cooking oils by the stove near the olive oil? What kind of Communist believes that? It belongs in the pantry next to the peanut butter and bread like all good Americans know. She had 3 bottles in the cabinet next to the stove... I put one in the pantry so it is actually useful and that I get to hear about that.

She's a great mom who loves our kids. I have that going for me.

 

[Belezabro]

She never does anything wrong...Never apologizes. Therefore, years ago, I stopped apologizing for anything and everything.