Do you have general philosophy or guiding principle(s) for your parenthood?
What about those 'parents' who are step parents?
Do you think your age or 'generation' made a difference in how you parented and did your views change over time?
Not a parent myself so can't contribute.
Yes. Love, honesty, respect for others, and respect for themselves.
My husband comes first, as I do with him. Without us, they wouldn't exist. I believe our children seeing a strong marriage, even those times it's not particularly hearts and rainbows, is important.
Respect. I have always addressed my children as I expect them to address me and others. From the moment they were born, please, thank you, no ma'am, yes sir (etc) were what they heard. That's what knew as they learned to speak.
Never back down from standing up for yourself when it's important. And ALWAYS stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves. It's been interesting over the years how that differs with my girls and my boy. All of them do, just with different approaches. (And God help anybody who bullies or abuses any girl or anybody with special needs in my son's presence. Just go ahead and make your peace with God.)
Love: my love is unconditional. Liking them is another matter. They know the difference and that no matter how pissed I am over whatever, that's temporary. My love is not.
Honesty: don't lie. Ever. Full stop, no exception. Nothing is ever made better by lying.
I also let a lot of little things go that just aren't worth the fight in the grand scheme of things. I'm much less rigid than my parents were. I focus on the important things. We laugh...a lot. We enjoy being together.
And Sunday dinner is sacrosanct.
Edit: and yes, I spanked my kids... rarely, but I did.
The (now) funny instance...my son was 10ish?, Dad was out of town, Max was as big as I am (not a huge accomplishment
) and thought that since we were the same size, he was now The Man. He lost his mind. Little shit yelled at me while trying to bow up and told me to sit down and leave him alone. HUGE mistake. I calmly walked to the kitchen and grabbed a wooden spoon (no need to hurt my hand while I wear his butt out), came back in front of him and full on lifted him and slammed him face down, ass up on the sofa and wore. him. out. Daddy got home a couple of days later. They had a father/son day. I've never asked exactly how that went, but I can guess.
Baby boy learned that no matter how big he thinks he is, mama will kick his ass. And then daddy will, too.
The most hilarious part? All of my wooden spoons disappeared. Gone. Every single one. I found one broken in half in the top of his closet 3 years later. I about peed my pants laughing.
