@MortgageHorn
Imperial Decree of the Timeline
By order of the Senate and the Algorithm,
under the watchful eye of the Blue Check Aquila,
it is hereby proclaimed:
That the citizen known as Mortgagehorn—
frequent stirrer of threads,
slayer of nuance,
and reckless wielder of the Reply-All—
has been found guilty of:
- Excessive posting before coffee
- Inciting comment-section gladiatorial combat
- And one (1) count of “this app is cooked” declared prematurely
Therefore, let it be known:
He is banished from X,
cast beyond the sacred scroll of the For You feed,
exiled to the barren lands of… reading articles before commenting.
Let his followers wail in the digital forum,
let the bots fall silent,
and let peace—brief, fragile peace—return to the timeline.
Should he attempt to re-enter under a burner account,
he shall be marked with the ancient brand:
“Joined July 2026 • 3 followers • 4,892 tweets.”
So decreed. So ratioed. So it shall be.
SPQR (Senatus Populusque Ratio’d)