i do think its important to find who you are before you try to get with somebody anyway becuase there is too much danger of the other person becoming a placeholder for that part of your identity that is meant to be filled from within and then if that person goes away you feel like you are missing a part of yourself due to the codependent nature of the way you have formed yourself around them and that doesnt work out well for either of you and has a good chance of damaging the relationship and causing it to end in the first place or something like that idk im not a psychologiest lol