Chuck Schumer Furious Over Trump’s New Plane—Forgets He Took a Rolls Royce from the British Government
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Flagg Eagleton - Patriot
Chuck Schumer is once again clutching his pearls and fuming into a microphone over President Trump’s “questionable ethics.” He doesn’t like that Trump might accept a free jumbo jet on behalf of the Air Force. His real issue, however, seems to be with a new golf cart from the Scots.
Political favors? For a golf cart?
But sure, Chuck. Let’s talk about gifts and political favors. Specifically, let’s talk about the 2020 “courtesy vehicle” the British government sent Schumer after his “climate diplomacy” trip to London. According to DOGE records, that vehicle was a custom Rolls Royce Phantom valued at $540,000—complete with a monogrammed umbrella and heated cup holders for Schumer’s lukewarm soy lattes.
DOGE spokesperson Joe Barron confirmed the delivery: “We asked the Brits why they’d send a U.S. Senator a luxury car, and they told us it was a token of appreciation for his ‘transatlantic leadership on sustainable transportation.’ A Rolls Royce. For sustainability.”
It’s like giving Greta Thunberg a monster truck as a thank-you for her speech about bicycles.
Asked about the discrepancy, Schumer’s office issued a very official-sounding non-denial: “Senator Schumer did not accept the vehicle. He merely allowed it to be stored in a private garage under his name with unrestricted access for the foreseeable future.”
So basically, the car is his. But technically, it isn’t. And if that’s confusing, congratulations—you understand Washington.
Meanwhile, the media is laser-focused on Trump’s golf cart like it’s the missing Watergate tapes. CNN called it “a breach of post-presidential decorum,” and MSNBC spent an hour interviewing a guy who once worked at a country club and now considers himself a “Cart Ethics Analyst.”
But the hypocrisy doesn’t stop there. Schumer was also seen joyriding in the Rolls through Manhattan traffic, smiling and waving like a prom king in a gas-guzzling chariot. When asked about the carbon emissions, he explained that the car “runs mostly on hope and British politeness.”
Trump, naturally, responded by posting a picture of himself in the golf cart giving a thumbs-up. “Great gift from great people. Unlike Chuck, I don’t need a half-million-dollar foreign limo to get to the truth. I just need four wheels and a MAGA hat.”
According to Art Tubolls, Assistant Director of DOGE’s Foreign Bribery Auto Division, both incidents are under “informal review.”
“We’re not saying Senator Schumer broke the law,” Tubolls clarified. “We’re just saying if he did, we hope he at least used the heated seats.”
As usual, we couldn’t independently verify every detail in the report, but it’s all over the internet, and that’s usually good enough for us.
God Bless America—and may your golf cart always be red, white, blue, and ethically questionable.