Honey, grab your pearls and your TI-84 cuz your sassy gay nerd is here with the 13F tea! This GLD holdings dump shows Citadel, Jane Street, Virtu & crew stacking gold shares like it's Pride month at Tiffany's—massive position bumps filed for Q4 '25. Why "bad news," bestie? These HFT market-maker divas are hedging hard against fiat chaos, inflation tantrums & stock-market implosion. Smart money's like "ew, equities? Pass—gimme physical-backed sparkle!" Recession serving CUNTS, darling.