All jokes aside, when is the last time you legitimately hit someone for a reason?

[RJ2kWJ]

I’m by no means a fighter, but have been trained very well just in case.

I knew I should’ve enjoyed my margarita at home last night but noooo. I have to go out.

This Austin Lib fuck saw my FSU hat and went on a rant about how terrible the Florida Governor is and just wouldn’t stop. I swear at least a dozen times I said, “can you please leave me alone?” Finally I went “seriously leave me be to my beverage”.

I asked the security guards to get this guy away from me. They were dealing with something more important.

My go to move (thank you A certain someone) was to pick up the girl next to me wine glass, put it next to his face and punch through it. My hand is fucked up but his face is way way worse. Already contacted the bar and footage is gone. Contacted the police in case he wants an assault charge. Also gone.

Anyways, I haven’t hit someone in a very long time. When is the last time you did?

 

[RJ2kWJ]

To reply to myself. I was around 12 and hanging out with my uncle Bill, he asked me to go with him to pick up my little cousin Will from school so we went. He had this cool gift of a leather jacket from an aunt. Right when Bill got out a PETA supporter dumped a bucket of blood on a 6 year old kid.

Bill hit him as hard as I’ve ever seen a dad hit someone.

I imagine some of you fathers on the board would do the same.

 

[JordanPetersHorn]

Last time I got my ass beat by two other guys in college and now I solve things with words. I threw an overhand right and got one of them, but the other was so much bigger than me so I tried to pull him into my guard for a submission and the other guy came to and started punching and soccer kicking me in the head

I knocked a dude out with a lead overhand at a party the time before that so my ego was big and my downfall assured

Edit: the reason both times was alcohol

 

[RJ2kWJ]

Last time I got my ass beat by two other guys in college and now I solve things with words. I threw an overhand right and got one of them, but the other was so much bigger than me so I tried to pull him into my guard for a submission and the other guy came to and started punching and soccer kicking me in the head

I knocked a dude out with a lead overhand at a party the time before that so my ego was big and my downfall assured

Edit: the reason both times was alcohol

I love solving things with words. Like I said, probably the first time I’ve hit someone since college. You grow up and learn that but something came out.

 

[JordanPetersHorn]

To reply to myself. I was around 12 and hanging out with my uncle Bill, he asked me to go with him to pick up my little cousin Will from school so we went. He had this cool gift of a leather jacket from an aunt. Right when Bill got out a PETA supporter dumped a bucket of blood on a 6 year old kid.

Bill hit him as hard as I’ve ever seen a dad hit someone.

I imagine some of you fathers on the board would do the same.

That could be so traumatizing to the wrong kid.

Bill should have curbed stomped their teeth

 

[JordanPetersHorn]

I love solving things with words. Like I said, probably the first time I’ve hit someone since college. You grow up and learn that but something came out.

I was real lucky too. This wasn’t all that long ago still in cell phone Snapchat era I’m lucky I didn’t get an assault charge

 

[thenick_ttu]

I’ve never been in an actual legit fight. I’ve been pissed at friends and hit them in the shoulder/back but I’ve never punched someone in the face. I’ve also never been punched in the face.

 

[tiderollsonu]

Not counting sparing was in no less that a dozen in HS/Jr High. As an adult I was in my mid 20's and beat the snot out of a close friends little sisters BF for taking her brand new car without permission and wrecking it. Buddy lived 4 hours away so was happy to help out because I hated the little douche bag.

 

[ChingChongDingDong]

There’s a green fucker around here that wants it.

 

[AC2020]

A person attacked my wife in my presence 2 or 3 years ago.

I'm in my 50s but still as strong as an ox. Two shots to the side of the temple and knocked the punk out.

Kicked him when he was down for good measure.

 

[RJ2kWJ]

A person attacked my wife in my presence 2 or 3 years ago.

I'm in my 50s but still as strong as an ox. Two shots to the side of the temple and knocked the punk out.

Kicked him when he was down for good measure.

Yea you’re hitting that old man strength age. Great job!

But in HS I tried to convince my friends not to fuck with my step dad. I threw a party and someone went after him and it was game over. I think right around 59 years old? Something about it. It’s not a myth.

 

[ChingChongDingDong]

A person attacked my wife in my presence 2 or 3 years ago.

I'm in my 50s but still as strong as an ox. Two shots to the side of the temple and knocked the punk out.

Kicked him when he was down for good measure.

Was the wife ok? Did you get a handy or a trip to pound town?

 

[JordanPetersHorn]

A person attacked my wife in my presence 2 or 3 years ago.

I'm in my 50s but still as strong as an ox. Two shots to the side of the temple and knocked the punk out.

Kicked him when he was down for good measure.

Old man strength will fuck you up. Those hard fucking bones...

 

[RJ2kWJ]

Old man strength will fuck you up. Those hard fucking bones...

Something about it. I still won’t fuck with my step dad and he’s 78 now.

 

[AC2020]

Seriously, when you start getting older, you can't afford to play around in a physical altercation.

You have to end things quickly or you are done.

My wife was understandably shook up.

 

[Rebarcock.]

I knocked out a drunk who tried to kick my dog about 18months ago.
No ragrets

 

[RJ2kWJ]

So

Seriously, when you start getting older, you can't afford to play around in a physical altercation.

You have to end things quickly or you are done.

My wife was understandably shook up.

So don’t go the Bond way?

Tried to upload a gif of the CR opening. I’ll just go with a YT video.

Yes it’s the 2nd best opening Bond scene ever.

 

[ChicagoFats]

I love solving things with words. Like I said, probably the first time I’ve hit someone since college. You grow up and learn that but something came out.

Everybody has a limit. Fuck that guy

 

[catreaper]

My ex wife when she overcooked the lasagna. I’m not proud of that moment but damnit, that lasagna was like $12 at Publix.

 

[shiv]

I’ve never been in an actual legit fight. I’ve been pissed at friends and hit them in the shoulder/back but I’ve never punched someone in the face. I’ve also never been punched in the face.

I’ve been rocked in the face a few times. My jaw is still screwed up from one time. Think I deserved it most every time

 

[imprimis]

Seriously, when you start getting older, you can't afford to play around in a physical altercation.

You have to end things quickly or you are done.

My wife was understandably shook up.

Two ways to fight -- fair or to win.

 

[catreaper]

I’ve been rocked in the face a few times. My jaw is still screwed up from one time. Think I deserved it most every time

Guess I could apologize.

 

[catreaper]

Guess I could apologize.

But fuck you.

 

[catreaper]

But fuck you.

Don’t ever grab my balls again in a night club.

 

[catreaper]

Don’t ever grab my balls again in a night club.

There’s a reason I put that one simple stipulation on my Grindr profile. You crossed the line.

 

[shiv]

But fuck you.

 

[shiv]

There’s a reason I put that one simple stipulation on my Grindr profile. You crossed the line.

I think you forgot to log in and out of your alt account

 

[catreaper]

I think you forgot to log in and out of your alt account

What kind of worthless cocksucker has more than one account?

 

[shiv]

What kind of worthless cocksucker has more than one account?

Some schizophrenic with some other major mental issues

 

[catreaper]

Some schizophrenic with some other major mental issues

Sounds like most of the guys I date.

 

[Oklahoma]

I think old man strength is just fermented hate.

 

[tgsio]

About 6 years ago. My husband and I were out with a group of friends at a dive bar, just having a good time. Everybody in the bar was.

I was tipsily singing Reba (karaoke). This really drunk asshole decided I had grievously insulted his girlfriend for the evening by singing the song she should be singing. He ran up on me, screaming at me to sit my bitch ass down. There were other words describing my lovely female anatomy thrown in. But when he spit in my face while screaming....my backslap put him on his ass before my husband and the other guys (who were on the move) could get to me.

It was a perfect slap. Perfect. That crack across the eye socket and snap of the neck was a beautiful sound... followed by the thud of ass meets floor.

Security got him out of there just as quick an act of mercy. He would have died that night.

I have a wicked backslap and a nice little left hook.

Guess what? My girls do, too, among other handy self defense moves. I am their mama, after all.

 

[America 1st]

Sounds like most of the guys I date take.

FIFY

 

[America 1st]

Didn't hit anyone but a 350+ lb lard ass came at me about 12 months ago in a pizza shop cuz he thought I stole his pizza.

He swung, couldn't hardly reach past his tits, so I kicked the outside of his left knee... He probably still needs a wheel chair.

I actually kinda feel bad about this now cuz while dude already was 98% of the way to congestive heart failure and I made it so he is likely still using a walker in his mid thirties.

I worked at said pizza shop previously so just had the homies call the fuzz and make a statement. Got a fresh pie on the house too so it was hot for the way home.

Owner is always good to me but that's likely a result of handling the collections for his book business

Kept pictures cuz you gotta protect yourself when dealing with the mob.

 

[AC2020]

Two ways to fight -- fair or to win.

Exactly.

 

[imprimis]

About 6 years ago. My husband and I were out with a group of friends at a dive bar, just having a good time. Everybody in the bar was.

I was tipsily singing Reba (karaoke). This really drunk asshole decided I had grievously insulted his girlfriend for the evening by singing the song she should be singing. He ran up on me, screaming at me to sit my bitch ass down. There were other words describing my lovely female anatomy thrown in. But when he spit in my face while screaming....my backslap put him on his ass before my husband and the other guys (who were on the move) could get to me.

It was a perfect slap. Perfect. That crack across the eye socket and snap of the neck was a beautiful sound... followed by the thud of ass meets floor.

Security got him out of there just as quick an act of mercy. He would have died that night.

I have a wicked backslap and a nice little left hook.

Guess what? My girls do, too, among other handy self defense moves. I am their mama, after all.

Hell hath no fury like a pissed off woman.

There is a reason they say Women are deadlier than the Male.

 

[TheNJNole]

@SADUCFKNIGHT

 

[spf84]

I head butted a guy at the bar in December. I was walking out of the bar and I was in a bad mood. I didn’t like the guy to begin with, but he shouldered me then got in my face for running into him. The head butt out him down and I walked home.

 

[GreenNewMe]

There’s a green fucker around here that wants it.

I think we both know what you mean by "wants it". And you're not wrong.

 

[yankmenoodle]

I don't remember hitting anyone. The last one I shot .......