What’s your go to move when someone obviously dirty wants to shake your hand?

[catreaper]

COVID has been a nice excuse but can’t go on forever (maybe). My move has to always quickly turn my head and pretend not to see it. Just tried to pull that move at the gas station though and it didn’t work. Hand still out when I turned back around. I shook it and immediately went to the bathroom to wash up. I need some better ideas, chances are I’ll see this guy again.

 

[PeytonMooning]

Fist bump is my go-to.

 

[catreaper]

Fist bump is my go-to.

Yeah, but I really wanted no contact with this scrub. And goddamnit I’m not doing the foot kick thing.

 

[Dinkis14]

COVID has been a nice excuse but can’t go on forever (maybe). My move has to always quickly turn my head and pretend not to see it. Just tried to pull that move at the gas station though and it didn’t work. Hand still out when I turned back around. I shook it and immediately went to the bathroom to wash up. I need some better ideas, chances are I’ll see this guy again.

Was @jarhead5903 trying to wash your windows again for a few bucks?

 

[catreaper]

Was @jarhead5903 trying to wash your windows again for a few bucks?

Yeah. The fact he was trying to shake my hand this time and wasn’t reaching for my dick was an improvement at least.

 

[Chris Farley]

Just say you’re a OCD germaphobe and can’t touch people?

 

[PeytonMooning]

Yeah, but I really wanted no contact with this scrub. And goddamnit I’m not doing the foot kick thing.

You could always ask yourself, what would Jerry Seinfeld do?

 

[UNC71-00]

lots of ways to go with this OP depending on how much you like the other person

 

[catreaper]

lots of ways to go with this OP depending on how much you like the other person

Not enough to touch him. And when it comes to dudes that is rare.

 

[shiv]

I shake their hand because I’m not a pussy

 

[UNC71-00]

Not enough to touch him. And when it comes to dudes that is rare.

so when they want to shake, tell them you only touch tips. And if he agrees to it, tell him better hold off until the amoxicillin takes hold and the discharge stops.

 

[UNC71-00]

Or you could just shake hands or fist bump and be done with it, you fucking germaphobe

 

[Rebarcock.]

I shake their hand because I’m not a pussy

Agreed. But im usually the dirtiest sob around. My hands have been stained for 25 years.
@catreaper try grunting at them. No one fucks with grunters

 

[Astragalus]

When they put their hand out, raise your hand to your nose and begin sniffing your fingers like you don’t know what’s on them. That will usually deter folks.

 

[dirtytoeddawg]

I live in a small town full of farmers, mechanics, & used car salesmen. If I worried about shaking dirty hands I wouldn’t have shook many in my life

 

[Taggart]

Some good alternatives here OP... I have found most prefer "docking"

 

[GarnetPild]

Several posters already said my thoughts, which are basically I am a man, so I shake someone's hand if they hold it out. Don't give a shit if they are dirty.

 

[poke2001]

Some good alternatives here OP... I have found most prefer "docking"

Docking seems like more contact.

 

[PeytonMooning]

I shake their hand because I’m not a pussy

 

[GarnetPild]

 

[Cre8ive]

I shake their hand, then I dip my hand in bacon grease and head on down to the lion's cage. Try it @catreaper

 

[muchandmore]

 

[Cletusnow]

 

[BigBucnNole]

Long time ago their was this guy in our general council who had some kind of skin disease on his hands. His fingers were peeling to where he had bright red finger tips and flakes. One day he came by my office for something and I asked a legal question and he didn’t have an answer but knew someone who would. He suggested calling and I was like, yea I’ll get around to it I had other things to deal with. He insists and then he fucking picks up my phone and dials and I about threw up.

Later he wore around gloves with the insides coated in jelly. Fucking disgusting.

 

[WestcampTX]

Yeah, but I really wanted no contact with this scrub. And goddamnit I’m not doing the foot kick thing.

Reach up and scratch the back of your head, make it really awkward that they just stuck out their hand.

 

[MrNonSequitur]

You could always ask yourself, what would Jerry Seinfeld do?

I like Jerry but, man, he really comes across as a self-absorbed narcissist.

 

[jarhead5903]

Was @jarhead5903 trying to wash your windows again for a few bucks?

I’d wash his windows and ass for free.

 

[absoluteUnit]

I shake their hand, then I dip my hand in bacon grease and head on down to the lion's cage. Try it @catreaper

View attachment 16818

Yeah @catreaper. What he said

 

[Don Johnson]

Sucking his dads dick is your only play here.

 

[hmt5000]

 

[imprimis]

I tell them I have pesticides on my hands. That is an instant pull back on their part.

 

[ChingChongDingDong]

Yeah, but I really wanted no contact with this scrub. And goddamnit I’m not doing the foot kick thing.

Maybe try not to be such a stuck up douche.. Jesus Christ would wash their feet
And you’re acting like you can’t shake a hand,

get some hand sanitizer for your car.

 

[GarnetPild]

Maybe try not to be such a stuck up douche.. Jesus Christ would wash their feet
And you’re acting like you can’t shake a hand,

get some hand sanitizer for your car.

I would think less of someone as a man, if they were a bitch about shaking a dirty hand.

 

[Joe Kings]

Man up that simple. Control your world in all things or it will control you. I shke hands with whom I want and avoid if I feel like it. To the point of them going in for a hand shake and me either fist bumping or saying nope. Its my world not theres. Thats honestly how we doing in the Kings household...