So my language is tied to my emotions because of aspie brain

[Mungri]

Thats where the boost in language skill comes from.

Words make me feel good, spoken or heard.

Good conversation drives my brain wild with maniacal joy.

Enhancing my language skills also finally raised my emotional intelligence too, before I thought I was maybe a psychopath too with no emotions, rather they were just stunted at an infantile rate.

Enhanced linguistic skill, language acquisition, and perfect use of inflections and grammar, people in my special brain community clubs immediately love talking to me and are always smiling when I am.

Some problems so far:

A) Mouth wont shut when brain is happy.

B) I realised why I was meltdowning before - 5 year old emotions and 'what about me' state. 2 prior GP bans because I didn't realise health professionals end up getting 'compassion fatigue' and stop being nice to everyone cos they can't deal with everyone's shit the same way my brain loves to.

C) Cannot deal with any negativity IRL, I try to shut it down which can put me in danger.

D) Perfectionism - I need to be as well dressed and done up as possible like a foid / npc - can't do anything in normal or plain clothing anymore. My recent splurge was on some lime green suede shoes, my favourite colour which I was always too scared to wear, next I need matching T shirts / shirts and already have two pairs of white shorts for summer - someone told me in the smooth brain club 'Wow, you must turn heads everywhere you walk' and yea, I own my image now, looking around me as I walk catching peoples gazes - I overpracticed turning my stimming autist hands into narrating gesticulation when speaking, and assertive / confident walking.

But I will never be perfect, and the slightest mistakes bring back suicidal tendencies during my constant reflections while at home.

 

[Mungri]

When one of the women leading the groups was giving a presentation, all I could do was spot every mistake and filler word, my brain getting frustrated from it. I didn't say anything negative, and later she mentioned in our WhatsApp group that while she tries to be confident, she struggles with presenting still.

So I gave 'role modelling' advice on 'Heres how I fixed my speech - Assertive speech therapy at home, telling myself 'no filler words like erm or ah', but if you don't have ASD / ADHD it can take a lot longer as people like me pick up on these things quickly with masking & mirroring'.