Not having kids

[JordanPetersHorn]

I wasn't being combative at all; just simply calling balls and strikes.

Point being when I talk to folks without kids, especially older folks, they tend to say the opposite of what you're suggesting.

Also I don't need to feel the same way about my siblings kids as I would my own for that to give me a sense of fulfilment in life.

Should I mark you down in the didn't have kids and regret it column?

Jesus why do I try…. For the third time, not trying to argue with you, it’s your life

Im getting the suspicion like @TJHall1 said that you have insecurities re: your ability to have kids which is why you keep being combative and treating this like a knockdown drag out right or wrong thing, instead of just saying “okay sure I hear ya” and letting me go on with my day.

 

[TJHall1]

Jesus why do I try…. For the third time, not trying to argue with you, it’s your life

Im getting the suspicion like @TJHall1 said that you have insecurities re: your ability to have kids which is why you keep being combative and treating this like a knockdown drag out right or wrong thing, instead of just saying “okay sure I hear ya” and letting me go on with my day.

Its very clear hes insecure about a lot of things. When everyone doesn't validate his opinion he acts like a child.

 

[Belezabro]

Being married with kids probably saved me from having a total waste of life...at least I was headed that way. Into my late 20s all I did was party and self-indulge. Now, my life revolves around my family and I'm good with that. Keeps me focused on doing good works and being helpful.

 

[America 1st]

Jesus why do I try…. For the third time, not trying to argue with you, it’s your life

Im getting the suspicion like @TJHall1 said that you have insecurities re: your ability to have kids which is why you keep being combative and treating this like a knockdown drag out right or wrong thing, instead of just saying “okay sure I hear ya” and letting me go on with my day.

That's literally what I did.

It seems yore a little insecure after I tapped that ass previously and now yore being combative.

 

[America 1st]

Its very clear hes insecure about a lot of things. When everyone doesn't validate his opinion he acts like a child.

Honest discussion is acting like a child?

 

[Belezabro]

I've only started a thread like this once.

I was really hoping someone would giving me something interesting to think about regarding having kids but it seems like I always just get the same old same old.

I'm genuinely trying to understand parents and how they think as well. I think it's really strange how defensive some people get over the topic (like yourself) and I'd like to know why that happens.

I'd start with the deep-seeded joy of helping your child overcome fears and have success in something they didn't want to do or feared doing because of fear of failure or embarrassment. Anxiety runs in my family and my kids show signs of this. However, I push my kids all the time to try new things and I actually MAKE them do things they don't want to do. Because I know if they put in good effort and try it they will grow as a person and, in turn, be a more productive citizen in their community.

You don't get this same feeling helping others. It is different with your kids as you know them so intimately from the moment of birth....it is a different connection and joy that is associated with them. This type of experience for the parent, in my opinion, helps you grow as a person.

 

[America 1st]

I'd start with the deep-seeded joy of helping your child overcome fears and have success in something they didn't want to do or feared doing because of fear of failure or embarrassment. Anxiety runs in my family and my kids show signs of this. However, I push my kids all the time to try new things and I actually MAKE them do things they don't want to do. Because I know if they put in good effort and try it they will grow as a person and, in turn, be a more productive citizen in their community.

You don't get this same feeling helping others. It is different with your kids as you know them so intimately from the moment of birth....it is a different connection and joy that is associated with them. This type of experience for the parent, in my opinion, helps you grow as a person.

It's likely the only way to experience certain feelings.

I'm convinced not feeling those things leaves people feeling regret or empty at a high rate tho.

Appreciate yore perspective.

 

[JordanPetersHorn]

That's literally what I did.

It seems yore a little insecure after I tapped that ass previously and now yore being combative.

“I know you are but what am I”

Live your life guy

 

[America 1st]

“I know you are but what am I”

Live your life guy

 

[Sikness23245]

I just don't want them period.

There has to be others out there not having them.

Felt that way for a while, but then I realized, the fuck else am I gonna do with my empire when I die? To hell if ima work my whole life for my two story double wide castle and just let the guberment take it.

 

[America 1st]

Felt that way for a while, but then I realized, the fuck else am I gonna do with my empire when I die? To hell if ima work my whole life for my two story double wide castle and just let the guberment take it.

Hell nah!

I'm either gonna leave my shit to my brother, one of his kids, or if that's not a thing I'll leave it to a dog rescue to auction for funds to save some rescues.

Two stories is way more than I'll ever manage to own anyways so no big deal anyways.

 

[tgsio]

I have 4. My youngest will be out of the house (but still on the payroll) when I turn 50. (2 years away).

We made the choice to have our kids early because we could. We planned accordingly. We will be able to enjoy life while we're still relatively young...as they are or are not giving me grandbabies over the next decade or so. How each of them lives their lives is up to them and I 100% support their decisions, no matter what...as long as I'm not paying for it. Example: my eldest girl's boyfriend would marry her tomorrow. She's not there, yet. They've been together for 7 years. They are having serious discussions about children. He's diabetic and isn't sure he wants biological children. She's not sure she doesn't. It's a serious, mature discussion that is going to take a therapist to help them navigate. Neither of them are wrong. There is no 'wrong'. They love each other fiercely and are prefect for each other. Just need to work through the kiddo angle. And figure out where each other really stands. Adoption is hugely on the table for both of them. When they're both ready, they'll figure it out.

Not my life... it's theirs. I will never be the mom that badgers any of them about marriage or babies. I raised them to live their lives as they best see fit. I trust them to make the best decisions for themselves.

I did raise them, after all. And I think we did a pretty good job.

Having children is a very personal, fundamental choice. Not wanting kids is no more scandalous than my having more than the socially acceptable 2 while not maintaining a fabulous career and taking the world by storm. Guess what? I've been a stay at home mom for 24 years and have no intention of launching a career anytime soon...or ever. I'm a wife and mommy. I provide the stability and support for our family and my husband's career that makes our life possible. That was my choice and our choice as a family. It works for us. I don't need it to work for everybody. Just shut up apologizing, preaching, and justifying. Live your own damn life and let others do the same.

My girls? They have different paths... and I couldn't be prouder of them.

 

[Sikness23245]

Hell nah!

I'm either gonna leave my shit to my brother, one of his kids, or if that's not a thing I'll leave it to a dog rescue to auction for funds to save some rescues.

Two stories is way more than I'll ever manage to own anyways so no big deal anyways.

It's honestly something I still struggle with. I think I'd regret not having any, but I'm still not in a rush to have them. Problem is, I don't really have that much longer to be indecisive.

 

[America 1st]

It's honestly something I still struggle with. I think I'd regret not having any, but I'm still not in a rush to have them. Problem is, I don't really have that much longer to be indecisive.

I can't imagine myself having them and the older I get the more certain I am that I don't want them.

I feel like I would only regret having them especially with the world the way it is, my genes, not having a fleet of double wides to rent to provode handsomely for them, ect.

How old are you?

 

[Old Glory]

I have 4. My youngest will be out of the house (but still on the payroll) when I turn 50. (2 years away).

We made the choice to have our kids early because we could. We planned accordingly. We will be able to enjoy life while we're still relatively young...as they are or are not giving me grandbabies over the next decade or so. How each of them lives their lives is up to them and I 100% support their decisions, no matter what...as long as I'm not paying for it. Example: my eldest girl's boyfriend would marry her tomorrow. She's not there, yet. They've been together for 7 years. They are having serious discussions about children. He's diabetic and isn't sure he wants biological children. She's not sure she doesn't. It's a serious, mature discussion that is going to take a therapist to help them navigate. Neither of them are wrong. There is no 'wrong'. They love each other fiercely and are prefect for each other. Just need to work through the kiddo angle. And figure out where each other really stands. Adoption is hugely on the table for both of them. When they're both ready, they'll figure it out.

Not my life... it's theirs. I will never be the mom that badgers any of them about marriage or babies. I raised them to live their lives as they best see fit. I trust them to make the best decisions for themselves.

I did raise them, after all. And I think we did a pretty good job.

Having children is a very personal, fundamental choice. Not wanting kids is no more scandalous than my having more than the socially acceptable 2 while not maintaining a fabulous career and taking the world by storm. Guess what? I've been a stay at home mom for 24 years and have no intention of launching a career anytime soon...or ever. I'm a wife and mommy. I provide the stability and support for our family and my husband's career that makes our life possible. That was my choice and our choice as a family. It works for us. I don't need it to work for everybody. Just shut up apologizing, preaching, and justifying. Live your own damn life and let others do the same.

My girls? They have different paths... and I couldn't be prouder of them.

I always appreciate when you post, no matter the subject.

 

[GarnetPild]

A friend of mine just send me this...she has a point.

 

[GPSooner]

I was one that was always on the fence about kids. I got married when I was 30 and that went up in flames in 2 years. That messed me up for awhile and I wasn't ready to settle down after that for at least a good 5-7 years.

Met my wife when I was 42 or so and we got married within a year. I will be 51 in July and we have a 8 year old daughter and a 6 year old son. I would have liked to have kids at a younger age but it wasn't in the cards. Do I regret having them? Never. They are great kids and they hopefully will be out of the house about the time I retire.

 

[GarnetPild]

I was one that was always on the fence about kids. I got married when I was 30 and that went up in flames in 2 years. That messed me up for awhile and I wasn't ready to settle down after that for at least a good 5-7 years.

Met my wife when I was 42 or so and we got married within a year. I will be 51 in July and we have a 8 year old daughter and a 6 year old son. I would have liked to have kids at a younger age but it wasn't in the cards. Do I regret having them? Never. They are great kids and they hopefully will be out of the house about the time I retire.

Good to hear this, as I am 42 and my 33 year old girlfriend has decided she thinks she does want kids...so might be crossing that bridge in my mid 40's, yikes!

 

[GarnetPild]

Good to hear this, as I am 42 and my 33 year old girlfriend has decided she thinks she does want kids...so might be crossing that bridge in my mid 40's, yikes!

Lol at @America 1st 's reaction to my post

 

[GPSooner]

I was 45 when we had my son. I'm just thankful that I am in good enough shape I can run around with him and stuff now. He's 6 and the little smartass saw me changing my shirt and asked me "Dad, do you even have any abs?". Funny little fucker.

 

[denn]

I was 45 when we had my son. I'm just thankful that I am in good enough shape I can run around with him and stuff now. He's 6 and the little smartass saw me changing my shirt and asked me "Dad, do you even have any abs?". Funny little fucker.

I am 45 now and couldn't imagine having a child at this age. Though I never had children during my marriage that ended 5 years ago, I did really want them. Unfortunately my ex wife had some medical issues that ultimately meant she could not get pregnant. We found that out at a time where we were clearly heading separate ways. So adoption wouldn't have been a very good avenue either.

 

[America 1st]

 

[Old Glory]

Bumping this. We are currently at the hospital getting ready for number two to join this world. We are both much less anxious about this one than the first since we sort of know what were doing.