My wife and 4 kids are out of town

[VladimirPAdkins]

What should I do?

Went to the beer and bingo tonight and cleaned up and also made a lot of connections.

Currently killing some Nirvana, Tyler Childers, and Staind (random I know).

Got a tee time in the morning at RTJ trail in the shoals tomorrow and got some pressure washing planned. Hoping to grab some cigars. What else should I partake in? Ribeye a must?

 

[TheGratefulReb]

Nothing wrong with beating your meat in the kitchen

 

[VladimirPAdkins]

Nothing wrong with beating your meat in the kitchen

Well, of course. I was being discreet. I’ll be beating me meat all over the house.

 

[America 1st]

Don’t be a cellfish phaggot and instead do the following:

1) FaceTime with the wife four about an hour each day.

2) FaceTime with each kid individually fore another 30 mins daily.

3) Study (preferably yore Bible) each day fore at least an hour.

4) Make sure to clean the bathrooms and kitchen before she gets home.

5) Pick up the groceries you’ll need to prepare her a nice meal when she gets home.

6) Clean up an elderly neighbor’s yard.

7) Make sure to enjoy at least one detox kale shake every day while avoiding meat all together.

8) Make sure her strap-on is clean so she can enjoy you after she gets home.

 

[STMF2X]

Don’t be a cellfish phaggot and instead do the following:

1) FaceTime with the wife four about an hour each day.

2) FaceTime with each kid individually fore another 30 mins daily.

3) Study (preferably yore Bible) each day fore at least an hour.

4) Make sure to clean the bathrooms and kitchen before she gets home.

5) Pick up the groceries you’ll need to prepare her a nice meal when she gets home.

6) Clean up an elderly neighbor’s yard.

7) Make sure to enjoy at least one detox kale shake every day while avoiding meat all together.

8) Make sure her strap-on is clean so she can enjoy you after she gets home.

 

[d-tiger45]

If you're not 4 nuts in and watching midget tranny granny porn by now you've wasted day one

 

[Chris Farley]

Clown porn dude! Clown porn!

 

[irlafterthought18]

Just keep turning the music up louder and louder and downing more and more beers, it'll be great!

 

[ChingChongDingDong]

At least her best friend isn’t at the house yet!

 

[Taggart]

 

[BurntJ]

At least her best friend isn’t at the house yet!

Bullshit OP’s wife…..yore best friend is at the house. @VladimirPAdkins is home and working on the list provided above by @America 1st . See a true best friend is always thinking of the other 1st. If he missed yore call it was because he is lubing on the strap on…..realniceclark.gif

 

[ChingChongDingDong]

@America 1st @BurntJ
bestie just sent this pic of Vlad cleaning the toy.

 

[Viking]

How about make your fucking pick already!! haha SKOL!

 

[ttyh]

Now that we know you're just laying around and jerking off, you could be considerate of your fantasy football fam and draft in a timely manner.