Brought a few Greg Newton stories over so they aren't erased from history

[STMF2X]

Originally
posted by Gregnewton:

Re: how do you think you will die???

If aids is real......no way I don't die from it.



Re: What is your go to sex move? Reply

Originally posted by Gregnewton:

Bean flossing.........I have a lot of space in between my teeth so I take the
whores cavity tumor and put it in between my two front teeth, then I will grab
it from inside my mouth with my hand and go back and forth.



Re: What's The Riskiest Thing You've Ever Done? Reply

Originally posted by Gregnewton:



Threw my hog and seed in a girl we called Kitty Calamari. She stunk like the
bottom of the ocean. She was HIV positive but I was throw up drunk and people
had told me that getting Aids was really hard. I was in bad times, just had
been convicted of spousal abuse and was living on the streets of Kansas City.
Eating out about whomever would let me, even put a couple of cacks in the back
of my throat for a beer or food. Kitty later died of the disease, and since
this was years ago. I doubt I have it. She also had the gum warts which I had
at the time. Made the sex pretty bad due to the scratching and tearing of the
scabs during intercourse.

Originally posted by Gregnewton:

Re do you guys smash in front of your dog?



Its rare when Mr. Pickles isn't watching crouch fighting. He loves it. Me and
my new sack of guts don't mind him breathing down our knecks when we are
wrecking each others privates. I mistake the drool for cum every once in awhile
but who doesn't. I had a dog that used to cover his paws when I was throwing
seed and it would piss me off. I would get up and my wife would be leaking like
a faucet, run over to the side of the room and uncover his paws from his eyes.
Tell him he better watch or get the f out of the room. My second wife would let
our 3 year old in the room. We lived in a two bedroom trailor so there wasn't
much room for the little guy to go. We just called it naughty time and made him
wash some pots and pans and keep busy while we swapped cum. Second wife was
smellier than sewage drain, so he would cover his nose for that 10 to 12
minutes. Yeah, he would bitch and moan when we were about to beat each other
up, but he got used to it. I'm proud of him now, he's 14 dating a 12 year old
thats got an ass like a 9 year old. Real hot for her age. The sister was 18 and
was just a black eye and a swollen lip away from being a princess. I would
destroy her insides if I could find where she lives now.



Originally posted by Gregnewton:

Re: My wife says I don't last long enough in the bedroom...



I had this problem for around 14 years. I had three wives leave me because I
couldn't stay in the egg portal long enough. Thats when I started blackening my
pecker around 5 times a day. After around 5 months, if a nun wasn't getting
fisted by a tranny police officer, I wasn't spitting any seed. I also rubbed
off all of the sensation near the mushroom tip, and have a shit ton of scar
tissue in the the pipe. Im pissing the bed reguararly but Im lasting a sh*t ton
longer.

 

[STMF2X]

Re: gf/wife/strange (do you like it shaved?)

I like my swamp with a ton of moss. Nothing is better than playing with that
wet sea weed. I don't want it hip to hip but right on the birth hole..........I
have to have wet slaw.



Originally posted by Gregnewton:

Re: You are my wife and you are surprised with an International trip for
Christmas. Whats your destination of choice?



Pattaya. It is on the gulf of Thailand. Best bang for your buck with underage
prostitutes. Leave that fat smug of your wife in bed and go get in a few
underage soak holes. She won't be out looking for you since she is fat and and
feels bad. You basically have three days to bang everything that walks and
talks. Look out for the little boys dressed like girls though. Put you a cap on
and dive in.



Originally posted by Gregnewton:

Re: Am I the only one who had a rough night?



Walked in on my 14 year old with his step mother's silk panties around his co*k
beating himself silly.



Later in the same thread:



I didn't have a problem with him waylaying on himself, and honestly didn't care
that it was his step mothers cu*t covers. We have just had a problem with him,
because he doesn't stroke himself right and has had to have surgery on his love
pole at 14. When he was younger he thought you just move your hand up and down
the shaft really fast and hard and sqeeze the top. He wasn't really pulling the
skin, or yanking the loose skin he was just acting like his hand was a stink hole.
So, he hurt himself pretty bad. The doctor told me that I should teach him how
to do it correctly. I tried with a bananna and a few other things but he still
didn't understand to use use the loose skin and it is a constant tug. We tried
a few more things, before we went through my old ladies dildo drawer. She had
one shaped like a real thrower, so I performed on that but a week later he was
injured again. Rubbed all of the skin off the hammer. Finally, I just had to
show him. I through back a couple of gin shots and took him in my room. It was
hard to get hard for the little guy was standing right in front of me. I took
out my 4 incher and got it stiff after around a minute or two. I showed him
that you don't run your pecker through your hands but let your hands do all of
the work. He hasn't injured himself of late so we are keeping our fingers
crossed.

 

[STMF2X]

Originally posted by Gregnewton:

Re: Most Famous Person You have HOOKED UP With



A few years before the movie came out, I threw my seed all over Anne Ramsey,
who was Mama Fratelli in the Goonies. We were in a brothel together outside of
Seatle. It was around 8 couples. I was dating this 60 year old at the time..I
was around 30 so it was a older group. We were last to get to the cum swap, so
Anne and her date who was a small asian were the last to swap with. The hole I
was with said I didn't have to do it, but I told her to shut her mouth, and let
me do my thing. I didn't have any diseases at this time, and would take down
about any gut sack that was willing to feed on my love muscle. We went into the
room and I slapped her around for a good hour. I remember it being bleeding
season for her, so that mad me rock hard as usual.



Originally posted by Gregnewton:

Re: Skip Bayless says no more FGs.



Bayless' wife used to work in this restaraunt down in Miami. Supposingly, there
was a glory hole in the back where you could walk back to and put your dong in
the hole and she would make your dick throw up.



Originally posted by Gregnewton:

Re: Have you ever CHEATED on your wife/girlfriend?



Not proud to say it, but I have cheated on 3 of my 5 wives. In my defense, they
were vacuming a variety of cocks in their holes way before I was out playing in
pound town. i never would have cheated if they would have just played the right
game. I only have about 4 inches, so woman ussually get tired of telling me to
stick the rest of my love muscle in them. The worst I have ever cheated was
putting my head pretty much up my step daughters poon canyon. My wife at the
time was spitting and swollowing every co*k in the neigborhood. I walked in on
her blowing our friend TOny who I thought couldn't even get one stiff due to
him being in a wheel chair. Well that wasn't the case. She was down there like
he had the cure for cancer in his ureatha. Fn show off had the wheel chair bent
back while she was blowing his instrament. Doing a freaking wheely while the
woman I loved at the time, was face deep in his junk. I have never destroyed a
slit like I did her daughters that night.

 

[STMF2X]

Originally posted by
Gregnewton:

Re: Dumbest thing you've done drunk



-woke up halfway in our baby crib on top of the baby. Sh*t myself.

-chased my 10 year old niece around the house while helicoptering my pen*s

-Ran my car into city hall, ended up in the city finance office, trying to get
my cousin out of jail. He was being held next to city hall.

-Threw my wife down about 30 steps when she was pregnant and we were at a
wedding

-Was a minute away from blowing a d*de for 5 bucks when I was homeless in 97'

-sh*t on my ex wifes front door step

-Was drunk at 5:00 am one saturday and kicked the paper boy off his bike and
delievered the rest of his route

-Got caught beatn off in a porta potty at a concert...arrested

-showed up for a hearing on a domestic dispute charge, knocked out my lawyer
before the hearing and defended myself. I was arrested before the trial
started. Pissed myself on the way to the jail cell.

Just a few


Originally posted by Gregnewton:

Re: How fast do you drive over the
speed limit?

I was really weirded out the first time she told me that her dad used to f*ck
her, but then I met her dad and we actually got along pretty good. She was so
abused that she said at some point in time she used to yearn for his c*ck and
actually prefered it over the guys she was pounding. She always talked about
how thick and hard it was. When we first started dating she would make me do
some moves that her dad used to do to her.

Originally posted by Gregnewton:

Re: Big day tomorrow for Greg Newton



Gentleman, That was two wives ago. SO glad I don't have to eat that starfish
anymore. The worst part was the scar tissue around the sh*t spitter. She had
ripped herself after dumping out 4 to 5 kids. I stole the video of her sister
in the divorce, and still yank one from time to time to it. My dad always
wanted to put one across her sisters face, so for fathers day I let him watch
the video. Half way in he gave me the look and I just nodded back at him. He
put the blanket over his mid section and tugged one out.

Originally posted by Gregnewton:

Re: Meanest thing a girl said to you...

I met this girl online a few years ago. It was a website for people that both
had herpes. I had slugged through a good bit of gut sacks on the site, and it
had worked out pretty well. Though, there was one demon pu**y that will haunt
me for years. We met up at the local DQ for a hampburger and shake. We had a
pleasant conversation. She was a teacher in the area, and had 5 or 6 runts for
kids. Anyway, I was living at home with my mom at the time, so I didn't want to
take her back to my place. So, we decided we would go feast on each other in
the bathroom. We are finishing our shakes and I am underneath the table tuggn
it pretty good to get it ready. It was a quite night at the DQ, so we sneak
back into the stalls and i lock the door. We get into one of the stalls and I
see someone had been spitting mud before us. IT was all over the seat etc. The
smell wasn't that bad, because it was mostly that diareaha smell. I'm usually
ok with that. I put her legs up, pull her squirrell covers off and start eating
her pink pie. As I'm down there, I'm restling with her open blisters. She had a
huge break out going on. Between biting the lips and flicking the bean, I have
about an equal blood to cum ratio swooshing around in my mouth. I stand up and
pull my shorts down, and throw my wang out. She takes a quick glance and starts
to cry. I ask her what is wrong and she says everything. I think her exact
words were "Im in the bathroom at a dairy queen in a stall where there is
sh*t, with some man that I met on a website for std carriers, and on top of
that he has the smallest d*ck I have ever seen" You talk about getting one
in the gut. I was humilliated. I still got her to f*ck but she told me never to
call her again.

 

[M E R L I N]

 

[STMF2X]

Originally posted by Gregnewton:

Re: Sexiest woman in the world? (PICS)

Boy, my di*ks in for a
whoopn tonight!!!



Originally posted by Gregnewton:

Re: questions about circle jerks itt...

I was bi sexual back in the early 90's for around 3 years. I was a huge sexaholix
and was throwing my hog in about every hole I could find. My friend who lived
with me at the time always had around 10 people over twice a week for what they
called "show and spits" I joined once and that would be the last
time. You first undress everyone else, so the first 5 or so minutes you are
taking each other threads off. We would go into a large room and get in a
circle holding hands. Everyone would take around 5 steps back like you are
playing duck duck goose. Then we all would sit indian style. There would be no
talking for the first 3 minutes while everyone is warming their sex hoses up.
YOu couldn't play with anyone else, and really just had control of your own.
Once most were erect we would begin the jerk. After about 4 or 5 minutes people
would start popping. The weird thing was right before you were about to release
your dust, you were supposed to point at a person, then you got up and if they
hadn't drizzled yet, you would go over their and rain on them with your gas in
your balls.


Originally posted by Gregnewton:

Would you put one back in your throat
for 5 minutes to tear up Kate Upton's insides?

Yes, but just for a
minute, 5 is to long

Not for Upton, but for a diffrent fantasy of my hogs

As long as seed isn't released, I'm down

If I could just harmonca one side, I would let him stay the night


Originally posted by Gregnewton


Re: Do you get pussy during the week?

If the men were taking care of business ole Sunya would be out of business. Way
to graze.
I have friend that works at a morgue. He lets me come over about 3 times a week
and pick from the litter. I used to cheat all of the time but beating up dead
pu* is far from cheating. I only go for the ones whose eyes are closed. I tried
an eye opener one time, and I still shake in my boots thinking about it.

Originally posted by Gregnewton:

(After another poster asked if he cared
what the dead girls look like)

I will ussually just
un zip the top and see what the face looks like. Not really into playing with
and torso pillows, just like to throw my hog in there and finish. So no
t*ts...no problem for me. i have come to find out that woman in their early
teens or late 40's have the faucet still leaking. Woman above 60 are like
sticking your finger in to hot sand.

 

[STMF2X]

Originally posted by Gregnewton:

Re: Music to bang to...

cheap seats- Alabama


Originally posted by Gregnewton:

Re: Might be havin a 3 way this
Saturday....

While I always love a good three way, a bad one will turn you away for awhile.
A few years ago, my third wife and her friend wanted to lick each others birth
holes so bad that they said if I joined, would they let them suck each other's
cu*nts. I said absoulutely. So we get in the room and my wife takes off her
panties. I'd seen the show before, her thigh gum drops like a sack of potatoes
down her leg. My wife had elephantitis in her labias. Her girlfriend got all
freaked out, but i told her it didn't taste as bad as it looked or smelled. So
she gets down there, sucking her mid lips. I can see she is kind of repulsed so
I take out my 4 inch pleasure toy, and walk over to her. She starts laughing
pretty hard and making fun of my wife for having to fu*k that every night. I
get pretty mad, then a little sad. I end up sitting in the corner while my wife
makes food of her girls junk. I tried to whack it but I was too humiliated.


Originally posted by Gregnewton:

Re: intense ORGASMS

A few years ago I was busting pure ecstasy every time my di*k sneezed. Nowadays
one out of 10 is a bleeder due to some intense scarring in my urethea.

If you have some time try this...I would lock myself in my room on a saturday
or sunday and put in my best video. For me, it was a video called "Rape is
ok with me" There was a dark lady on there that made me harder than a
junior high gym coach. I had this blanket that I would wrap around my yogurt
thrower. I would cup the top side of my co*k, kind of in a reverse hand motion.
I would rub the blanket to the point where I would get my shaft a little red. I
would get to the point where my hammer wanted to throw up so bad, then I would
remove my hand and sit there for a few minutes. Blood would be rushing back
into my body and this was way after pre c*m. I would do this about 10-12 times
before my man piece was literally screaming at me. When I finally wanted to release
I would lay my head off the end of the bed and sit indian style on the rest of
the bed. Right before I got glassy eyed. I would raise my head up to the point
of the bed. Making the blood rush back through my body and i believe it made
more blood rush to my pe*ker. For my first pitch I would be in that position.
Then I would stand up and put my thumb over my hole and get a little stopage
which would make my seed drizzle down my shaft.


Originally posted by Gregnewton:

Re: 2 Porn stars will give every follower they have a BJ if the heat win.

This line is going to longer than a line the night before a new Star Wars
movie. While I am definitely in, line placement is a big concern for me. I don't
want to be near the front, because I ain't blowing my seed unless she c*m sick
by the time she gets to me. I want her to have most of the east coast loads in
her hair when she is feasting on my pecker. Also, I wonder since I have
everything, and they probably do to, do i still have to wear one of those
rubber things?


Originally posted by Gregnewton:

Re: What invention do you think has altered history the most?



tunnel cloggers.....could you imagine woman walking around leaking like freddy
crugar got to their sex creases? ........... Almost unbearable.

 

[STMF2X]

Re: is there anything more traumatic when you are a kid than walking in on your
parents having sex?



When I was 9 I walked in on my father and his two brothers treating my step mom
like a bowling ball. One of my uncles was sticking and licking her snooge. When
I walked in they still didn't stop. I ran out of the room and one of my uncles
came behind me. He ran into the bathroom to toss. He said my new step mom
tasted like a bucket of pennies.


Originally posted by Gregnewton:

Re: Banging Pregnant chicks

There is nothing that I like more than a 9 month pregnant hangn steak.For
around 5 years, I used to search coast to coast to find one that was just on
the verge of shittn out a carcus. I am infatuated with the way a clittorous
swells up when they are almost about to spill a human. Yeah its
looser than down power line, but good god the auroma of the copper in the
blood, the fish in the reproductive organs and the body odor of the stink hole
just makes me harder than a viking shield. I caught one around the New Mexico
line in 98 that I layed up in bed with for about a week. After around the third
day she had to abort the poor bastard in the toilet from the digging and
tunneling I was doing every hour on the hour. The room smelled like a bums nutt
sack, but the sex was better than a no one's at home Sunday tug.


Originally posted by Gregnewton:

Re: Moving to Lubbock, TX (need help)

I have a friend named Jerry that lives there. You should look him up. He has
two daughters that he rents out for a cheap dollar, if you get sick of throwing
your hog in your wife. The younger daugter is pretty hot, but always seems to
have hemroids so if you are in to putting your garbage in her trash can you
might go with the older one. The older will erase the sauce in your pole in
under 5 minutes. She has a knack for letting you marinate your nuts in the back
of her mouth. If you are tired of slinging your slong into female genitalia
then Jerry gives solid hand. You can ask him to blow, but I think he quit doing
that type of thing in the late 80's.


Originally posted by Gregnewton:

Re: Anyone ever blown a speech?

Yeah,I was trying to tell my 11 year old about sex a few years ago. We had
caught him doing some pretty innapropriate things. I first walked in on him in
sniffing a pair of my wife's squirt bandaids. He had sniffed the cotton stitch
straight off the seam. There was barely anything left of the panites..... It
got worse from there. At the time, I didn't let my 7 year old girl
flush the toilet because she had a problem of using too much gum
tissue when she toweled off her piss hole, she would clog the thing. Little
Tully was going through her used urine rags in the trash can and licking
them. I tried shoving them in his face like I would a dog, but he kept licking
and biting like he liked the taste of her vagina lemonade. So, I thought it was
about time to sit him down and tell him about the poles and the holes. I didn't
get 3 minutes into the speech and he starts rubbing the outside of his umbro's
getting himself harder than drill seargent. He kept telling me to keep going,
and get to the good stuff. He was looking at me pretty weird, and had some sick
smile going on. When I started explaining how you had to get a woman wet before
parking your d*ck in her garage, he was fully out of his umbros stroking at
about 9 strokes a second. He was wearing himself silly. I tried to calm him
down but it was no use, as I am getting up off of his floor, he turns around,
puts his little sex leg muscle between his thighs and squirts me down like
a gang riotting. I ended up grounding him for the rest of the weekend.


Originally posted by Gregnewton:

Re: Ok guys, its a slow day, I need some help RULES FOLLOWED

Been in a situation like this a ton of times.
You have to get over that a guy has pulled his di*k dump truck up to your baby
momamas pus*y landfill and dropped gallons of his ball waste over her body. She
got choked and poked a ton of times by this new guy and there is nothing you
can do about it. There is not enough clorox to clean this gal now. But just
because she is damaged goods doesn't mean you can't get back together with her.
I am sure you did your fair share of tying your new girlfriends intestines with
your tongue. You just need to keep that in the back of your head when your baby
mommas snatch starts to dry out like a dessert. The worst thing that i ever had
to go through was one of my kids moms wanted me back one time, and I decided to
proceed. I get down there the first night and had to peal back muff scabs to
get to her birth hole. Her snooge had basically gotten dissentary over the time
we weren't together.

Originally posted by Gregnewton:

Re: GOOOOD GOD!
What happened to Jessica Simpson!!!!!


I'd still sniff the rug off of that poon....hell id suck her di*k
if she had one.



Originally posted by Gregnewton:

Re: Guys With Wives/Long-Term GFs How often do you think of another woman
during sex?

100% of the time with my new wife. Thank god she has started letting me print
out enlarged photos of whores that I would really enjoy banging, cut two holes
on the sides and knot a rubber band so she can wear them as mask. But same goes
for her. Its like a parking lot on a hot summer day unless she has a picture of
her dad next to the bed side table. He used to molest her all of the time, and
she swears he has been the only person that has ever made her leak

 

[V0LUNT33R]

 

[JARRODH]

I assume these have also been sent to the Smithsonian for display and safekeeping.

 

[Sgfeer]

The classics should never be lost, book burning commies should be dealt with harshly

 

[TJHall1]

Am I in heaven?

 

[BPV]

Originally posted by Gregnewton:


Every Valentines Day I have to eat my
wife's butt hole. We have been doing this for 15 years. When she was
younger it was
ok. She cleaned herself to make it a little better for me. Now
that shes pushing 50 its like she doesn't wipe for days.


Originally posted by Gregnewton:


Her sisters husband and I traded tapes years back. Though, he hasn't ever watched our tape......Or so he says.




I'm not lying about this no need to, my friends call me Greg "straight shootn" Newton.


Originally posted by Gregnewton:


My brother in law and I knew each other
years before we met these sisters that we are now both married to. We
used to snack
off each other when we first dating them. So, we have seen and
tasted both of them. We just have never seen each other's junk.




When we decided to marry them, we both promised each other
that we could keep the snacking going on even through the married years.
Well, the wives
wouldn't do it. So we decided to make some films for each
other. I think I am just the sicker of the two and get to watch his film
once a year.
Both of the sisters know about the films and don't care, yet
they both hide them and don't let us know where they are. I guess my
buddy
doesn't eat ass, if he did I bet he would get to watch the
film..eventhough he says he doesn't want to.



Originally posted by Gregnewton:


24 hours till I snack on some butt hole............I hope we get it over with in the morning. She has been cool with it in the
morning a few times.

 

[Gators300]

Lol these never get old.

 

[Don Johnson]

 

[Jakethedog]

Loved his stuff

 

[shiv]

Bump... for science

 

[absoluteUnit]

 

[d-tiger45]

For whatever reason, this made me cry laughing:::

‘Was drunk at 5:00 am one saturday and kicked the paper boy off his bike and
delievered the rest of his route’

 

[Emma tenywa]

I'd freak out if i was told to bang a dead body

 

[Oler Ted]

Best is the one about banging pregnant chicks:

I caught one around the New Mexico
line in 98 that I layed up in bed with for about a week. After around the third
day she had to abort the poor bastard in the toilet from the digging and
tunneling I was doing every hour on the hour. The room smelled like a bums nutt
sack, but the sex was better than a no one's at home Sunday tug.

 

[TopHook]

For whatever reason, this made me cry laughing:::

‘Was drunk at 5:00 am one saturday and kicked the paper boy off his bike and
delievered the rest of his route’

That one got me too.
Who is this person? I googled and found a Duke basketball player.

 

[d-tiger45]

That one got me too.
Who is this person? I googled and found a Duke basketball player.

He used to post on tMB. He magically vanished when it was found out he was a business guy and was scared someone would doxx him to his employer showing his posts that would def get hij fired

 

[Cowboy1stn10]

Guy ruined the Goonies for me. Can't look ar Momma Fratelli the same way anymore.