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Short rant... whoever came up with the idea of the tooth fairy

catreaper

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Can suck the biggest wart infested dick. I guess it’s supposed to be easy to sneak into my child’s room in the dark and find a tooth smaller than a fucking button that’s underneath the pillow said child is sleeping on without waking them. And what is our reward for finding the tooth without waking the kid up? Giving them fucking cash.

What a crock of shit.
 

Taggart

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mourning-nod.gif
 

shiv

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Man we royally fucked up the tooth fairy experience at my house with one of my girls.

First tooth she lost fell down the drain. She wasn’t that upset and made a cut out piece of tooth for the fairy to come get. She got money the next day but the tooth fairy forgot to get the cutout tooth and she was super worried about it.

Second tooth we just completely forgot the first night and we woke up to her crying her eyes out.

Worst tooth fairy ever
 

catreaper

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Man we royally fucked up the tooth fairy experience at my house with one of my girls.

First tooth she lost fell down the drain. She wasn’t that upset and made a cut out piece of tooth for the fairy to come get. She got money the next day but the tooth fairy forgot to get the cutout tooth and she was super worried about it.

Second tooth we just completely forgot the first night and we woke up to her crying her eyes out.

Worst tooth fairy ever
I knocked this one out tonight on accident. It was wobbly anyways, but she wanted to rough house and she got she shit end of that stick.

Or did I, now I have to pay her. If it would have held on one more day, her mom would have had the honors.
 

shiv

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I knocked this one out tonight on accident. It was wobbly anyways, but she wanted to rough house and she got she shit end of that stick.

Or did I, now I have to pay her. If it would have held on one more day, her mom would have had the honors.
Whatever it takes to get a victory over mom. My other girl has had one loose for months but she just won’t pull it out or let us pull it out. So tooth fairy is coming tonight at your house or was that last night?
 

catreaper

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Whatever it takes to get a victory over mom. My other girl has had one loose for months but she just won’t pull it out or let us pull it out. So tooth fairy is coming tonight at your house or was that last night?
Tonight. I muddled up 50 grams of melatonin in her juice to stack the cards in my favor of extracting this tooth unnoticed.
 

tgsio

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Can suck the biggest wart infested dick. I guess it’s supposed to be easy to sneak into my child’s room in the dark and find a tooth smaller than a fucking button that’s underneath the pillow said child is sleeping on without waking them. And what is our reward for finding the tooth without waking the kid up? Giving them fucking cash.

What a crock of shit.
You don't have a tooth pillow? It's a little pillow with a pocket to hold the tooth/ cash that sits next to the munchkin's pillow so you don't have to root around.

True story... my oldest daughter found out that the tooth fairy, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny were not real all on the same day. She was 6. 'Twas a traumatic day for a little girl. I'm not sure she's ever completely forgiven me.
 

shiv

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You don't have a tooth pillow? It's a little pillow with a pocket to hold the tooth/ cash that sits next to the munchkin's pillow so you don't have to root around.

True story... my oldest daughter found out that the tooth fairy, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny were not real all on the same day. She was 6. 'Twas a traumatic day for a little girl. I'm not sure she's ever completely forgiven me.
Explain how that happened please
 

I am El Nino

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Make it easy and get or have them make a little tooth fairy box to set on the dresser. No searching, no waking and my wife, because she has to clean it up, sprinkles glitter on the dresser. Daughter about shit herself with excitement the first couple times.
 

tgsio

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Explain how that happened please
She busted her daddy while he was sneaking into her room to get the tooth. I tried to tell him she wasn't good and asleep yet, but nooooo.... he just had to be the one playing tooth fairy that night.

She's always been a ponderer and won't let go of a train of thought once it gets into her head. So... child of mine that she is, she toddles her tiny behind out of her room about 45 minutes later and starts interrogating us. I couldn't and wouldn't lie to her, so there we were. A mini me in pink jammies and bunny slippers staring us down like Robert Jackson... and my husband hanging his head in shame while I fessed up.

She may still be receiving therapy. It was awful.

She never told her sisters and brother. She went the opposite direction and kept them believing as long as she could.
 

catreaper

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She busted her daddy while he was sneaking into her room to get the tooth. I tried to tell him she wasn't good and asleep yet, but nooooo.... he just had to be the one playing tooth fairy that night.

She's always been a ponderer and won't let go of a train of thought once it gets into her head. So... child of mine that she is, she toddles her tiny behind out of her room about 45 minutes later and starts interrogating us. I couldn't and wouldn't lie to her, so there we were. A mini me in pink jammies and bunny slippers staring us down like Robert Jackson... and my husband hanging his head in shame while I fessed up.

She may still be receiving therapy. It was awful.

She never told her sisters and brother. She went the opposite direction and kept them believing as long as she could.
Hahaha sounds like my daughter. I had to explain tonight that Mr. Rodgers is dead. I felt like I ruined Daniel the tiger for her.
 

tgsio

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Hahaha sounds like my daughter. I had to explain tonight that Mr. Rodgers is dead. I felt like I ruined Daniel the tiger for her.
I still vividly remember her putting her hand on her little hip and glaring at me as she asked, "So, I guess the Easter Bunny is a lie, too? Isn't it?"

I think it was the death glare (definitely gets that from me) that broke me. I would have confessed to anything at that point. 🤣
 

catreaper

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I still vividly remember her putting her hand on her little hip and glaring at me as she asked, "So, I guess the Easter Bunny is a lie, too? Isn't it?"

I think it was the death glare (definitely gets that from me) that broke me. I would have confessed to anything at that point. 🤣
Yep. I don’t lie about anything she asks me. I told her this last Easter that even if the Easter bunny was real, Jesus would kick his ass for stealing his day.

of course in much more child friendly verbiage.
 

tgsio

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Yep. I don’t lie about anything she asks me. I told her this last Easter that even if the Easter bunny was real, Jesus would kick his ass for stealing his day.

of course in much more child friendly verbiage.
Never lie to her. She needs to know she can trust you, no matter what. And that's how she learns that lying isn't an option.

Of course, as she gets older, she will be learn the difference of 'lying' (for something like a surprise party or puppy) and dishonesty. But direct questions that she wants an honest answer? Be honest (as you obviously have already decided to do).

Enjoy this stage of childhood. It's fun.
 

Yep00

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Can suck the biggest wart infested dick. I guess it’s supposed to be easy to sneak into my child’s room in the dark and find a tooth smaller than a fucking button that’s underneath the pillow said child is sleeping on without waking them. And what is our reward for finding the tooth without waking the kid up? Giving them fucking cash.

What a crock of shit.
My kids built tooth fairy Lego boxes which made it easy to find under the pillow.
 

RHT 3

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I'm a Ninja getting the tooth out and swapping money lol. It's all about the pre plan.

Have the money nearby, and always put the tooth at the outer edge of the pillow. Tell them its because the tooth fairy doesn't want to wake them up.

I make Ocean's 11 look like bitches with my slight o hand.
 

Long cat

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You don't have a tooth pillow? It's a little pillow with a pocket to hold the tooth/ cash that sits next to the munchkin's pillow so you don't have to root around.

True story... my oldest daughter found out that the tooth fairy, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny were not real all on the same day. She was 6. 'Twas a traumatic day for a little girl. I'm not sure she's ever completely forgiven me.
Tooth pillow must be a Texas thing. A friend of my parents from south lake made some tooth pillows and gave them to us.

ziplock bag is the key.

my third son lost his first tooth when we were on a cruise and only had $20s. The bar was raised that day. Then the next one he wouldn’t let us pull it out even though it was hanging by a thread. My wife told he she heard the tooth fairy gives out $20s if you pull your own tooth. Now my daughter has lost two and she insists on pulling them out here self to get the $20. It’s ridiculous.
 

BurntJ

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Can suck the biggest wart infested dick. I guess it’s supposed to be easy to sneak into my child’s room in the dark and find a tooth smaller than a fucking button that’s underneath the pillow said child is sleeping on without waking them. And what is our reward for finding the tooth without waking the kid up? Giving them fucking cash.

What a crock of shit.
Oh...well you must have missed #1.

TODAY: According to D(wife)...we had to order some damn round wooden “Tooth for Tooth Fairy boxes”. Damn things are $10 and shipping was like $12. So $22 each (2) to also give them 5-10 per tooth. The autist side of me said (out FUCKING LOUD) why didn’t I just opt out of this BS from the start...I would have saved been $100-200 total and ACTUALLY enjoyed what I was doing.

(Abort immediately...wife went apeshit said Family exp etc.....water is calming as I type.)
 

Yep00

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We were in Disney the last tooth my son lost. He got $10 and a note from the TF saying it was more because it was a magical tooth since at Disney. He'll probably store them all up until the next trip.
 

PlayTimesOver

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We have a pillow as well. Doesn’t matter where it is though. I could push that chick off the bed and she won’t wake up.
 

tgsio

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DIY-Tooth-Fairy-Pillow.png
We have something like this that hangs on their bedroom door handle and has a pocket sewn on for the tooth to go in.
My kids all used the pillow my great grandmother (Nina Mama) made for me.

I'm going to have to make the exact same pillow for my future grand babies.
 

tgsio

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I was too. Trying to find something around the house that could serve as fairy dust. Thanks for making me look like a piece of shit dad @I am El Nino
Sugar.

If y'all make Christmas cookies, colored sugar and sprinkles. Yes, you probably have some.


For a little fun, if you haven't seen it, watch The Tooth Fairy. It's actually a pretty entertaining movie.

 
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