Read my insane journal ramblings

[Mungri]

AvoidantHermit

My life with AvPD

avoidanthermit.wordpress.com

I'm surprised I still haven't committed suicide yet.

 

[MechaJutaro]

Try living with AvP*, rather than AVPD. The thrills may put you in more electrified spirits

*https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aliens_vs._Predator_(comics)

 

[TheFiend]

AvoidantHermit

My life with AvPD

avoidanthermit.wordpress.com

I'm surprised I still haven't committed suicide yet.

Interesting stuff.

Now regarding the statement about suicide.

The way in which you've used it here-& elsewhere-seems to suggest, imo, intentionality, either motivated by: some degree of genuine fetishizing/fantasizing about it, ~or: otherwise simply as a generic linguistic manipulation tactic used as part of presenting a fabricated digital persona.

Either way, you talk like a fag and your shits all retarded.



Try microdosing shrooms brah.

 

[Mungri]

Interesting stuff.

Now regarding the statement about suicide.

The way in which you've used it here-& elsewhere-seems to suggest, imo, intentionality, either motivated by: some degree of genuine fetishizing/fantasizing about it, ~or: otherwise simply as a generic linguistic manipulation tactic used as part of presenting a fabricated digital persona.

Either way, you talk like a fag and your shits all retarded.

View attachment 217625

Try microdosing shrooms brah.

I simply freely express my symptoms including suicidal idealisation, why exactly does that bother you? Perhaps because in your own insecurities you are hiding suicidal thoughts from others?

Why does suicidal idealisation terrify you so much?

Shrooms = Jail in UK.

 

[Mungri]

Suicide is phenomenal. If successfully executed you no longer have to deal with this bullshit world.

 

[TheFiend]

I simply freely express my symptoms including suicidal idealisation, why exactly does that bother you?

Its *ideation, not idealisation, and its not the same as what you're supposedly doing, ie: fetishizing/fantasizing.

Perhaps because in your own insecurities you are hiding suicidal thoughts from others?

Sure

Why does suicidal idealisation terrify you so much?

Shrooms = Jail in UK.

Shrooms = fines/prison in most countries...if you're stupid enough to get caught.

 

[Mungri]

Its *ideation, not idealisation, and its not the same as what you're supposedly doing, ie: fetishizing/fantasizing.


Sure





Shrooms = fines/prison in most countries...if you're stupid enough to get caught.

Thanks for the correction.

Ideation - remember stupid brain.

 

[TheFiend]

Thanks for the correction.

Ideation - remember stupid brain.

The difference between ideation and what you've supposedly been presenting, is that ideation is far more serious, as in, proactively considering acting upon suicidal options.

Whereas this is definitely not the same as the far less serious, although still arguably concerning, seemingly romanticized virtue signaling type usage of shameless statements implying merely fetishizing/fantasizing suicide.

Typically, as far as I currently understand and from personal experience, individuals seriously considering options arising of genuinely experiencing suicidal ideation, would unlikely go around actively gloating about the matter, especially not in the particular, imo, seemingly prideful way you've been posting pseudo-"suicidal" related statements...which primarily appears to be for the shock value and for show.

Years ago I did find myself in dark places which eventually devolved into developing very serious suicidal ideation....to a point where I actually did, on several occasions, attempt to act upon what I had erroneously believed at the time to be "reasonable options".
Won't deny, the very last attempt I ever made...kinda unexpectedly ended up being fuckin' stupidly funny after realizing there's a bunch of terrified stoners absolutely freaking tf out in a nearby stealthily parked car who were able to see what I was gonna do.
At first I was like, "Pfft, fuck 'em. They can watch"...only a few minutes later I got all paranoid thinking they'd probably called the pigs, so I fucked off on the random motorbike I'd stolen earlier that morning and went to a different shady pine forested spot outside of the city......only, to my astonishment, the new spot happened to be covered with psilocybin shrooms...thus rather than offin' meself, instead I pretty much just spent the rest of that day/night basically kicking back, tripppin' mad balls, smashing down shrooms like candy....and of course resulted with some...lmfao...fuckin' extremely trippped out experiences—(*yeah nah, get fucked, coz I ain't gonna talk about them here)—however ultimately this experience resolved my suicidal shit and is why I ain't been suicidal ever since then.
This is why I would highly recommend suicidal individuals ought to consider and should actually be provided with access to micro-dosing shrooms.
No matter, I don't give a flat flying fuck what any medical-"experts", legal-"authorities", nor any other cunts say about shrooms. Sure in excessive amounts, some retards may have negative experiences, whereas others may have positive experiences. Yet regardless either way, the reality is that with shroom micro-dosages, people experience absolutely zero noticable psychedelic effects whatsoever, all while subtly positively improving their general normative experiential state overall, both during, and subsequently thereof, the micro-dose active phases.

Point is, don't do drugs.
Just give 'em to me.

 

[Rebarcock.]

Try living with AvP*, rather than AVPD. The thrills may put you in more electrified spirits

*https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aliens_vs._Predator_(comics)

Butwhy.gif

 

[Rebarcock.]

Suicide is phenomenal. If successfully executed you no longer have to deal with this bullshit world.

Dude do you need to talk. All bullshit aside.

 

[MechaJutaro]

Dude do you need to talk. All bullshit aside.

He may be onto something

 

[Mungri]

The difference between ideation and what you've supposedly been presenting, is that ideation is far more serious, as in, proactively considering acting upon suicidal options.

Whereas this is definitely not the same as the far less serious, although still arguably concerning, seemingly romanticized virtue signaling type usage of shameless statements implying merely fetishizing/fantasizing suicide.

Typically, as far as I currently understand and from personal experience, individuals seriously considering options arising of genuinely experiencing suicidal ideation, would unlikely go around actively gloating about the matter, especially not in the particular, imo, seemingly prideful way you've been posting pseudo-"suicidal" related statements...which primarily appears to be for the shock value and for show.

Years ago I did find myself in dark places which eventually devolved into developing very serious suicidal ideation....to a point where I actually did, on several occasions, attempt to act upon what I had erroneously believed at the time to be "reasonable options".
Won't deny, the very last attempt I ever made...kinda unexpectedly ended up being fuckin' stupidly funny after realizing there's a bunch of terrified stoners absolutely freaking tf out in a nearby stealthily parked car who were able to see what I was gonna do.
At first I was like, "Pfft, fuck 'em. They can watch"...only a few minutes later I got all paranoid thinking they'd probably called the pigs, so I fucked off on the random motorbike I'd stolen earlier that morning and went to a different shady pine forested spot outside of the city......only, to my astonishment, the new spot happened to be covered with psilocybin shrooms...thus rather than offin' meself, instead I pretty much just spent the rest of that day/night basically kicking back, tripppin' mad balls, smashing down shrooms like candy....and of course resulted with some...lmfao...fuckin' extremely trippped out experiences—(*yeah nah, get fucked, coz I ain't gonna talk about them here)—however ultimately this experience resolved my suicidal shit and is why I ain't been suicidal ever since then.
This is why I would highly recommend suicidal individuals ought to consider and should actually be provided with access to micro-dosing shrooms.
No matter, I don't give a flat flying fuck what any medical-"experts", legal-"authorities", nor any other cunts say about shrooms. Sure in excessive amounts, some retards may have negative experiences, whereas others may have positive experiences. Yet regardless either way, the reality is that with shroom micro-dosages, people experience absolutely zero noticable psychedelic effects whatsoever, all while subtly positively improving their general normative experiential state overall, both during, and subsequently thereof, the micro-dose active phases.

Point is, don't do drugs.
Just give 'em to me.

Its not 'gloating' you literal dumbfuck. Its my own self induced dialetical therapy to overcome those feelings.

 

[TheFiend]

Its not 'gloating' you literal dumbfuck. Its my own self induced dialetical therapy to overcome those feelings.

Oosh, "self induced dialectical therapy"...huh.

If ya mean Dialectical Behavior Therapy, it ain't a solo thang.

Have ya tried CBT?

 

[Mungri]

Oosh, "self induced dialectical therapy"...huh.

If ya mean Dialectical Behavior Therapy, it ain't a solo thang.

Have ya tried CBT?

CBT was a bust, completely useless thing.

I found out delving further that this was another thing:

2. *Emotional release*: Talking might serve as an outlet for pent-up emotions or energies, leading to a sense of relief and euphoria.

.... Talking endlessly or writing as such online gives me the biggest rush ever, even more so putting out shit that I want to die and stuff. Idgaf about any pity or response from others, just rambling makes me high as fuck.

I'm addicted to my own god mode communicativeness welp. And I don't want to fix it cos it feels better than any drug on the planet.

 

[Mungri]

Ok so ... I used to have meltdowns and shout and scream in the past. Now I trained my speech, its endless assertive fast talk. And I realised I started toxic positivity bombing everyone in my social groups I'm trying.

I'm drunk / endlessly high on trying to make people feel good with my words instead of being abusive instead like I used to be.

 

[TheFiend]

CBT was a bust, completely useless thing.

I found out delving further that this was another thing:

2. *Emotional release*: Talking might serve as an outlet for pent-up emotions or energies, leading to a sense of relief and euphoria.

.... Talking endlessly or writing as such online gives me the biggest rush ever, even more so putting out shit that I want to die and stuff. Idgaf about any pity or response from others, just rambling makes me high as fuck.

I'm addicted to my own god mode communicativeness welp. And I don't want to fix it cos it feels better than any drug on the planet.

It definitely does help sharing one's experiences.
Good on you for being proactive.

 

[Mungri]

It definitely does help sharing one's experiences.
Good on you for being proactive.

Ok so yes, talking about my suicidal thoughts and everything else is a fetish, for my brain.

Makes me high as fuck.