My Daughter Got the Gay Carebear

I mean they are all pretty gay, but I learned after we got this one home that it’s apparently meant to be the gay Carebear. Not sure how I didn’t pick up on that sooner.

It was also the one sold in Walmart.
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After your daughter goes to sleep, cover the gay bear in olive oil, sprinkle on some cracked pepper and rock salt and put it in the oven at 400 degrees for one hour. Take it out and lay it in the back yard for her to find. When she discovers it, tell her that aliens came while EVERYONE was asleep and chased the bear outside and fried it with a quantum laser gun. She'll have a wonderful story to tell at the dinner table to her kids! What a legacy!
 
After your daughter goes to sleep, cover the gay bear in olive oil, sprinkle on some cracked pepper and rock salt and put it in the oven at 400 degrees for one hour. Take it out and lay it in the back yard for her to find. When she discovers it, tell her that aliens came while EVERYONE was asleep and chased the bear outside and fried it with a quantum laser gun. She'll have a wonderful story to tell at the dinner table to her kids! What a legacy!
Or just go with the typical…..

the Aliens had Sex with it. Who knew it would look burned?
 
Gonna need a report?

So, did having sex with said Carebear give you the answer to this eternal question?
Unfortunately it did not. Given that the bear refuses to give me its pronouns, I don't know what gender it actually is, so I could be having straight bear sex and I wouldn't know. It's infuriating.
 
We actually got her this bear. I got an edger and some sick stick-man drawing for father's day. I hung them on the fridge proudly.
Yore welcome.

I considered those to be my Mona Lisa.

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