Love & mental health

[IAmDamagedGoods]

23yrs ago, when I got married, mental health issues weren't really discussed. Those who suffered from mental issues were shamed into not receiving the help they truly needed. I didn't even know what Narcissism was until recently but learning of this disorder has opened my eyes to so much. For anyone else dealing with a loved one who has this issue, my heart goes out to you. It is easy to love but hard to like a narcissist! Those who know...KNOW!!!

 

[SmokeHouse423]

Has this loved one been diagnosed with narcissistic behavior? Or are you self diagnosing someone who is probably just an asshole?

 

[IAmDamagedGoods]

Has this loved one been diagnosed with narcissistic behavior? Or are you self diagnosing someone who is probably just an asshole

This person has been diagnosed & is denial so yes they're an asshole also! But even with a professional diagnosis I have lived with him for 23yrs. I think that qualifies me as expert on this individual much more then somebody with a diploma who only knows what theyve been told & are allowed to see.

 

[TopHook]

What are some of the symptoms

 

[IAmDamagedGoods]

What are some of the symptoms

There are a few different types & several subtypes. I am sharing a link that helps explain some of the traits.

https://www.psycom.net/personality-disorders/narcissistic

 

[BurntJ]

This person has been diagnosed & is denial so yes they're an asshole also! But even with a professional diagnosis I have lived with him for 23yrs. I think that qualifies me as expert on this individual much more then somebody with a diploma who only knows what theyve been told & are allowed to see.

Thanks for the clarity.
I was going to say, you will have to be more descriptive as this place is full of them….but you came through. Love to help, but I got nothing….other than an insane wife.

 

[denn]

There are a few different types & several subtypes. I am sharing a link that helps explain some of the traits.

https://www.psycom.net/personality-disorders/narcissistic

Not to be a dick bit I read the article and it sounds like every woman I have ever been with. Not saying all woman are this way but it sure seems like I hit the npd lottery.

 

[IAmDamagedGoods]

Not to be a dick bit I read the article and it sounds like every woman I have ever been with. Not saying all woman are this way but it sure seems like I hit the npd lottery.

You're not being a dick to me. I am well aware that a lot of females have mental disorders. I'm no angel & don't claim to be BUT I do NOT act like my Narcissist. I'm sorry you had to deal with that shit! Noone deserves to be treated this way.

 

[champsballs]

This person has been diagnosed & is denial so yes they're an asshole also! But even with a professional diagnosis I have lived with him for 23yrs. I think that qualifies me as expert on this individual much more then somebody with a diploma who only knows what theyve been told & are allowed to see.

Just taking a shot in the dark here… you put on a few lbs and your husband isn’t giving you the attention you think you deserve.
Well you’ve come to the right place and we’re here to help.

 

[Mr.Fitzwell]

Ii have borderline personality disorder...people have a tough time understanding. It can be difficult to explain thoughts, and more difficult to explain.

 

[denn]

You're not being a dick to me. I am well aware that a lot of females have mental disorders. I'm no angel & don't claim to be BUT I do NOT act like my Narcissist. I'm sorry you had to deal with that shit! Noone deserves to be treated this way.

God bless you then. I am currently dating someone who exhibits many of the npd traits. The problem is she is a smoke show and when she isn’t exhibiting those traits she is amazing. So I am not so quick to bail.

 

[champsballs]

God bless you then. I am currently dating someone who exhibits many of the npd traits. The problem is she is a smoke show and when she isn’t exhibiting those traits she is amazing. So I am not so quick to bail.

 

[IAmDamagedGoods]

Just taking a shot in the dark here… you put on a few lbs and your husband isn’t giving you the attention you think you deserve.
Well you’ve come to the right place and we’re here to help.

You couldn't be more wrong!!! He is obsessed with me! I get plenty of attention even with weight on! I am just God like that so Guess again!

 

[SmokeHouse423]

You couldn't be more wrong!!! He is obsessed with me! I get plenty of attention even with weight on! I am just God like that so Guess again!

Wow someone calling themselves god is saying someone else is a narcissist.

























Jk I know what you meant.

 

[IAmDamagedGoods]

i mena

Wow someone calling themselves god is saying someone else is a narcissist.

























Jk I know what you m

God bless you then. I am currently dating someone who exhibits many of the npd traits. The problem is she is a smoke show and when she isn’t exhibiting those traits she is amazing. So I am not so quick to bail.

That's part of it! When it's good it's great but when it's bad it's really bad! That's call d "Love Bombing"

 

[Cletusnow]

This person has been diagnosed & is denial so yes they're an asshole also! But even with a professional diagnosis I have lived with him for 23yrs. I think that qualifies me as expert on this individual much more then somebody with a diploma who only knows what theyve been told & are allowed to see.

…but don’t all wives think their husbands are assholes?

 

[IAmDamagedGoods]

I'm not trying to be hateful towards my hubby. I love him with all of my being but he is literally a controlling manipulative narcissist.

 

[GarnetPild]

I'm not trying to be hateful towards my hubby. I love him with all of my being but he is literally a controlling manipulative narcissist.

Not following your text conversation completely, but that is some hateful shit. Damn.

Edit to add, couldn't read whole text bc of phone in landscape mode...see it now. That shows serious lack of trust imo. Also controlling.

 

[MFFGA]

I'm not trying to be hateful towards my hubby. I love him with all of my being but he is literally a controlling manipulative narcissist.

Having dealt with one myself a female covert version. I was gaslit many times throughout the years. If he truly is a narcissist you cannot save him or the marriage. Get out and get as far away as possible before you get to the discard phase of the relationship. Don't worry about who knows the truth about him or try to tell your side. That's when they go psycho.

 

[IAmDamagedGoods]

Having dealt with one myself a female covert version. I was gaslit many times throughout the years. If he truly is a narcissist you cannot save him or the marriage. Get out and get as far away as possible before you get to the discard phase of the relationship. Don't worry about who knows the truth about him or try to tell your side. That's when they go psycho.

God I wish it was as easy as it is said! I would gic anything to have peace & happiness everyday

 

[IAmDamagedGoods]

Having dealt with one myself a female covert version. I was gaslit many times throughout the years. If he truly is a narcissist you cannot save him or the marriage. Get out and get as far away as possible before you get to the discard phase of the relationship. Don't worry about who knows the truth about him or try to tell your side. That's when they go psycho.

What is the discard phase?

 

[AmericanViking]

Not to be a dick bit I read the article and it sounds like every woman I have ever been with. Not saying all woman are this way but it sure seems like I hit the npd lottery.

This is the modern woman unfortunately.

 

[SmokeHouse423]

I'm not trying to be hateful towards my hubby. I love him with all of my being but he is literally a controlling manipulative narcissist.

Wow you weren’t kidding. I hope it all works out, I know that has to be miserable.

 

[AmericanViking]

I'm not trying to be hateful towards my hubby. I love him with all of my being but he is literally a controlling manipulative narcissist.

There’s definitely some self hate and insecurity there. Is there anything in y’alls past he can’t let go of?

 

[IAmDamagedGoods]

There’s definitely some self hate and insecurity there. Is there anything in y’alls past he can’t let go of?

There is plenty! Like I said I'm not claiming to be an angel by any means. I had a truly fucked up life long before we ever got together. He also had lots of baggage. He brought his baggage into this relationship & throws mine down my throat DAILY! But I can honest to God say that for the last 13yrs I have done anything by way of betraying him. He messed up 8yrs ago & I chose to stay &, work it out. I thought that because he fucked up I should confess my fuck up &, we'd start over. All I did was give him more ammunition against me. I also thought that by working things out that meant we forgive & move past the bullshit. There is so much going on in this relationship. He makes me feel like I'm gonna loose my shit & want to unalive myself some days. I quite literally have nothing & Noone. He ran off any & all friends I had & the only family I had is dead now. I got a settlement from an accident I was in & I paid off our land which is in his name. My kids & grandkids all live out here on our property. I'm not looking for sympathy or a pity party. I'm having a really bad few days & just needed to vent & maybe get a little advice. Its extremely overwhelming at times. Right now shit is going down because 1 of his cats got killed & he blames my dog. It's just a whole WTF situation!, Sorry so long! Like I said I desperately need to vent!

 

[AmericanViking]

There is plenty! Like I said I'm not claiming to be an angel by any means. I had a truly fucked up life long before we ever got together. He also had lots of baggage. He brought his baggage into this relationship & throws mine down my throat DAILY! But I can honest to God say that for the last 13yrs I have done anything by way of betraying him. He messed up 8yrs ago & I chose to stay &, work it out. I thought that because he fucked up I should confess my fuck up &, we'd start over. All I did was give him more ammunition against me. I also thought that by working things out that meant we forgive & move past the bullshit. There is so much going on in this relationship. He makes me feel like I'm gonna loose my shit & want to unalive myself some days. I quite literally have nothing & Noone. He ran off any & all friends I had & the only family I had is dead now. I got a settlement from an accident I was in & I paid off our land which is in his name. My kids & grandkids all live out here on our property. I'm not looking for sympathy or a pity party. I'm having a really bad few days & just needed to vent & maybe get a little advice. Its extremely overwhelming at times. Right now shit is going down because 1 of his cats got killed & he blames my dog. It's just a whole WTF situation!, Sorry so long! Like I said I desperately need to vent!

I get it. I think I nailed a big part of the issue. He has to forgive himself and you before you’ll get to a good place again. Does it come up more often when drinking or feeling down on himself? Also sounds like he “might” have some desires he’s fighting and projecting on to you. I’m not a counselor or anything I’ve just worked through things like this with some family and friends. Oh, does he hound you for every little detail about whatever he throws in your face?

 

[champsballs]

I'm not trying to be hateful towards my hubby. I love him with all of my being but he is literally a controlling manipulative narcissist.

Fuck this guy you don’t gotta answer shit. If he doesn’t trust you then he can find the door.
I’d say if that’s regular shit then he is probly trying to piss u off enough to get you to leave.
Can you imagine how much he’s freak out if knew you were on here sending us all noods? Cocksucker would probly off himself, win-win situation right there.

 

[denn]

This is the modern woman unfortunately.

Yeah, I know that. It will ultimately lead to her sabotaging the relationship and then having no idea why men can’t be with them.

 

[AmericanViking]

Yeah, I know that. It will ultimately lead to her sabotaging the relationship and then having no idea why men can’t be with them.

Yeah. That’s what modern women do. It’s become a sick cycle carousel.

 

[Cre8ive]

23yrs ago, when I got married, mental health issues weren't really discussed. Those who suffered from mental issues were shamed into not receiving the help they truly needed. I didn't even know what Narcissism was until recently but learning of this disorder has opened my eyes to so much. For anyone else dealing with a loved one who has this issue, my heart goes out to you. It is easy to love but hard to like a narcissist! Those who know...KNOW!!!

I read a great deal regarding popular psychosis and I can tell you that if you read what 10 experts have to say you will find they all have their own little twist on a very unfortunate mental conundrum. Good luck.

 

[weaponoffreedom]

Yeah. That’s what modern women do. It’s become a sick cycle carousel.

seems to me to be an attention grasping move.......I think she is the Narcissist

 

[Cre8ive]

seems to me to be an attention grasping move.......I think she is the Narcissist

Could very well be, but only one problem with your postulation - a narcissist would post a photo that was much more flattering.

 

[weaponoffreedom]

Could very well be, but only one problem with your postulation - a narcissist would post a photo that was much more flattering.

or real perhaps.

 

[Cre8ive]

or real perhaps.

time to stop this train at the next station...

 

[weaponoffreedom]

dont nothing stop this train..........what train?

 

[MFFGA]

What is the discard phase?

Once they realize that you are on to them. They will take every vulnerability you have shared with them you can imagine and find a way to use those weaknesses against you. If you have kids and he knows they mean a lot to you he will use them against you if possible. They do this in hopes that you respond irrationally and then paint you to be the crazy one. They will blame you for everything, they are incapable of having empathy.

 

[champsballs]

dont nothing stop this train..........what train?

You must be new around these parts… (tfsf & tmb)
Once the train makes that stop and gets rolling again, there’s no stopping it. There’s much fun and entertainment to be had, but lives can be ruined. I have an unusual set of skills when it comes to the interwebz, but unfortunately I just can’t be that big enough of an asshole to go down that path, I’ve been close but @TheNJNole beat me to it

 

[weaponoffreedom]

You must be new around these parts… (tfsf & tmb)
Once the train makes that stop and gets rolling again, there’s no stopping it. There’s much fun and entertainment to be had, but lives can be ruined. I have an unusual set of skills when it comes to the interwebz, but unfortunately I just can’t be that big enough of an asshole to go down that path, I’ve been close but @TheNJNole beat me to it

OK?

 

[champsballs]

OK?

@weaponoffreedom & @MrsTiffy77 right now

 

[champsballs]

Once they realize that you are on to them. They will take every vulnerability you have shared with them you can imagine and find a way to use those weaknesses against you. If you have kids and he knows they mean a lot to you he will use them against you if possible. They do this in hopes that you respond irrationally and then paint you to be the crazy one. They will blame you for everything, they are incapable of having empathy.

Are you talking about the mentals or gingers? Could be either way here, maybe both.