Do white people not have "the talk" with their children?

[ThreadBot]

Everyday lately I keep seeing black people interviewed on TV and radio, tearfully discussing how they are now having to have "the talk" with their children regarding interactions with police.

About how to act and comply otherwise things could go wrong for them when pulled over. But that they shouldn't have to have "the talk" in a free, non racist society.

When did this become a thing that black people are just now having to do? I remember as soon as I got my driver's license and a car my father told me as well as my sister that when you're pulled over by an officer to remain calm, be polite and compliant. Do black people not know that "the talk" it's just part of normal parenting teaching a child how to interact in society?

 

[AgEngDawg]

Yes, comply with the fucking police.

That is the bullet points of my discussion.

 

[22*43*51]

Yes, I did.

Keep your hands on the wheel and be respectful.

It's not rocket surgery.

 

[GarnetPild]

White guy here. Yes, every kid I knew growing up was told how to act when stopped by the police, usually right around the time they got their drivers license.

 

[quickfeet]

No

 

[Sloppy Mexican]

It’s pretty simple. Yes ma’am, no sir. Thank you sir, have a nice day ma’am.

 

[Jtrain80]

My parents nailed it:

If you get arrested, you better pray they keep you there.

 

[AgEngDawg]

Yes, comply with the fucking police.

That is the bullet points for my discussion.

By the way, my father was a Georgia State Patrolman for 35 years.

More people are disrespectful of the police than back in the day.

That is why more people are getting shot.

If you were drunk, you just got in the car and took your arrest back in the day.

Many times a cop can't tell whether you are black or white when pulling you over.

 

[JordanPetersHorn]

Everyday lately I keep seeing black people interviewed on TV and radio, tearfully discussing how they are now having to have "the talk" with their children regarding interactions with police.

About how to act and comply otherwise things could go wrong for them when pulled over. But that they shouldn't have to have "the talk" in a free, non racist society.

When did this become a thing that black people are just now having to do? I remember as soon as I got my driver's license and a car my father told me as well as my sister that when you're pulled over by an officer to remain calm, be polite and compliant. Do black people not know that "the talk" it's just part of normal parenting teaching a child how to interact in society?

They’re using racism to run from the troubles and responsibility of day to day life, ESPECIALLY child rearing and things that involve situations where you might end up in jail or the possibility of opposing your children’s wishes

 

[Jayhacker]

Told my kids always carry a pillow in the car. If you get arrested take it with you to your cell cause you will be spending the night. Seemed to work. Never had to deal with law enforcement.

 

[ChicagoFats]

I dont know if my parents had the talk with me or if it was just common sense. If you get pulled over, keep your hands visible to the officer preferably on the wheel until they approach the car. If you have a gun in the car that should be the first thing you tell the officer. Be respectful and polite. Do this and you walk away with a warning 50% of the time. Its amazing.

 

[Chris Farley]

Even today (I’m a 36 yo white male) if I get pulled over...I did about a month ago, I am polite and respectful. It’s called being a fucking adult!

 

[9Mounties07]

Even today (I’m a 36 yo white male) if I get pulled over...I did about a month ago, I am polite and respectful. It’s called being a fucking adult!

I'm 43, pulled over about 2 months ago, ran a red light and speeding. Cop came to driver side and told me why he pulled me over. I apologized, gave him registration and license, he came back with a warning....i actually joked..."you got me, I thought I got away with it"

 

[Juro]

No kids, but my advice to my nephews is when you get pulled over, just be chill and listen/comply with the officer.

If you broke the law, just own it. If you believe you didn’t break the law, just comply and remain quiet.

 

[Nayat]

Daughter got her learners permit a few months ago. I have been periodically explaining what to do in the event she gets pulled over for that past 1.5+ years. How to act around police since I can remember.

She is white as can be, did not get my tanning ability. I turn into a Mexican by the end of summer.

 

[AmericanViking]

Yup, I got the talk the night before getting my license. Per the usual, they are full of shit

 

[laterallyshaking]

Systemic racism is not alive and well in this country, but the illusion of it is. This business of "the talk" is part of what is keeping that illusion alive. If a child grows up hearing "police are racist, be careful not to say/do the wrong thing or they will shoot you because you are black" they are going to end up believing it. If they believe it exists, they will see it everywhere, not because it is there, but because they believe it is. They will view the world through the filter of racism. And then they will teach their children the same thing. On goes the cycle.

How does that cycle break? It won't until the black community stops passing down these beliefs to their children. And that won't happen while the media is feeding them rhetoric that strengthens the illusion for the sake of views, or politicians feed them the rhetoric for the sake of votes.

 

[Concrete Cowboy]

I've never been stopped for anything other than traffic stuff. I don't have anything to be nervous about in my vehicle. On the occasion that I do get stopped, I've found the best response is to just be relaxed and if you can make the officer laugh a little without being too much of a smart ass... It helps.

As a former cop, I will say that traffic stops are stressful. If I'm having a bad day (and a lot of cops do) then there is a chance the yes sir-no sir routine will be perceived as "boot licking" and not always well received.

The ultimate reason I didn't continue my LE career is I absolutely hated when people lied to me. Cops hear these lies all day every day.

Own your actions and try some honesty.

Avoid phrases like "swear to God" or "if I'm being honest" and stick to the basics.

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"... "Because I was driving way too fast..."

You're welcome

 

[22*43*51]

Obligatory...

 

[CrimsonTider22]

I’ve had this discussion with both my 2 year old and my 4 year old. More than likely I will keep reiterating the same discussion points until they are old enough to drive and beyond.

 

[Long cat]

I’m pretty sure it’s just common sense to any person with a brain - you want any officers you interact with the be comfortable. Don’t piss off the guy with the mace, baton, taser and gun.

 

[Cre8ive]

@ThreadBot - I switch into what I call TKAM - "Total Kiss Ass Mode." I swear to god that i have TAKMed' my way out of more tickets than i have been given. I was always stopped for speeding. And when the officer would ask "Do you know how fast you were going?"

I would say "Yessir, I was driving about 40mph over the speed limit. I like to go fast when I can. It's fun. Good tires. Light traffic. No hidden drive ways. Not raining. I really am sorry and I have no excuse sir." Officer - "Well, since you didn't lie about it, I'm gonna let you off with a warning this time. But if I stop you again, I'll write you up. Now slow down!" Me - "Yessir Officer Thomas, thank you sir. I will watch it from here on."

 

[CurtOFD78]

I've told both my boys to respect LEOs and do as they say on a scene or traffic stop. I also told them don't give them a reason to have to make a quick decision, because the officer will likely fall back on their training and that won't work out for my son. Was that a good enough talk?

 

[McDicker]

I had this discussion many times growing up (white boy). By dad is a small town attorney, and I think he didn't want us making shit of his name.
He is also a fill in municipal judge. I joked one time that he could get me off the hook if I got in trouble. He calmly explained that he couldn't try the case, but he would advocate to the county atty that they prosecute to the fullest extent of the law and sentence as tough as possible. I watched my ass after that.

I also learned a valuable lesson from my uncle. Driving with him going about 85 on a 55mph on a 2 lane highway, got pulled over. He says "watch this"...very yessir, nossir and such. Notices the patrolman's last name and asks if he knows the guy that farms the land near his. Well, I'll be damned if it wasn't that officers close cousin or some shit. My uncle asks how his grandparents are (by name) and other bullshit, etc. No ticket, not even a written warning.

I've never been able to be that smooth with a cop, but I learned the essence of that, being professional, nice and maybe a cheesy joke, can go a long way. I've had a few tickets but gotten off more often than not.

 

[McDicker]

Sorry, add on here. My cousin is nice enough but has her dad's trait (he's an in law) that they cannot keep their mouth shut if they don't agree with you.

She almost takes it as a point of pride that she will argue with a cop on the side of the road if she doesn't agree with why she was pulled over. She questions every question from a cop "why do you need to know that, that's none of your business!" She just can't let someone "get one over" on her. I think she's got just a few more tickets on her record that the rest of the family. You just showed them, by writing another check to the county.

 

[hmt5000]

My dad told me to comply if I broke the law but that if I didn't feel I did anything wrong I could fight and yell at the police. He said if they tried to use force I should either run for it or try to shoot them...

JK. lol

 

[STL_22]

My dad also gave me the talk — if you can even call it that — but it included what was already said above along with “don’t talk to the cops without a lawyer” for situations beyond a traffic stop. I cringe whenever I hear that this is only for one demographic, because that isn’t the reality at all.

Shocker, but I have followed that advice but also am not a criminal so when I get stopped by police I don’t worry about being fucking shot, despite not expecting the cop not being my best friend at all times.

 

[yankmenoodle]

I bought a new truck years ago, and on my way home, late, because of making up time at the dealership, I get stopped because I have no tag. The truck is fking spotless. That pissed me off, but the clincher was after sitting for ten minutes while he checks my ID, (by the way, my criminal record is two speeding tickets in my life) he asks me to put my hands on the steering wheel while he checks my VIN number.

 

[ch13ba]

Systemic racism is not alive and well in this country, but the illusion of it is. This business of "the talk" is part of what is keeping that illusion alive. If a child grows up hearing "police are racist, be careful not to say/do the wrong thing or they will shoot you because you are black" they are going to end up believing it. If they believe it exists, they will see it everywhere, not because it is there, but because they believe it is. They will view the world through the filter of racism. And then they will teach their children the same thing. On goes the cycle.

How does that cycle break? It won't until the black community stops passing down these beliefs to their children. And that won't happen while the media is feeding them rhetoric that strengthens the illusion for the sake of views, or politicians feed them the rhetoric for the sake of votes.

It’s actually pretty easy to become an angry, bitter, and racist piece of sh!t if you view everything through the lens of race and gender.